(Closed) How would you like to be approached at the gym?

posted 7 years ago in Fitness
Post # 3
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Has he ever struck up a conversation with her?  I’d say, that would be the place to start.  Since they go to the gym at the same time – tell him to just start a random conversation – about anything – his day at work, a movie, a concert – whatever… and see if he can learn anything about her.  If she’s responsive, then ask her out to coffee or an event she might bring up in that conversation.

since it sounds like she’s approached often, this way – at least he’ll stand out and not be a ‘stranger’ anymore.

Post # 4
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Ryansgirl:  He could try introducing himself sometime when the cross paths and she’s not a captive rat on her treadmill and then check out her reaction on future encounters.  Does she get on the treadmill next to him or find another exercise?  Does she say hello to him by name?  If a stranger asked me for my # on a treadmill, he’d get one in a hurry, but it wouldn’t be mine.  

Post # 5
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think this is a hard one… I think people vary a LOT in how they feel about being approached at the gym.  Personally, I NEVER want to be approached there.  If she gave those guys her number, it could mean that she doesn’t share my extreme distaste for anyone ever hitting on me at the gym, or it could mean she was totally taken aback and felt like she didn’t really have a choice without being confrontational.

If they’ve been making eye contact for awhile, maybe it’s a little harsh to assume she shares my gym-flirting aversion, but I still think he needs to take extra care not to seem flirty.  Also, no mansplaining.  I hate when guys are trying to explain how to exercise.  Maybe catch up to her while stretching and ask her if she’s training for any specific race or distance in particular?  Gives her an easy out to just say no and turn away, or to keep talking about running or sports.

Post # 6
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Aw, I know some people who met (and eventually got married) this way. I’d advise him to strike up a conversation with her and just feel things out, rather than coming up and handing her a number. If she’s interested, she’ll be OK with it.

Post # 7
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Entangled – I like that idea, asking if she’s training for something in particular. Good call!

Post # 9
Member
5572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

My sister gets approached at the gym ALL the time and she’s gone on dates with guys who she met there quite a few times. I don’t think I’d mind it but I don’t think I’d like it either.

@Entangled:I agree. I’d have him maybe ask her if she’s training for something. It’ll seem more like he’s interested in what she’s doing.

ETA: My sister likes being approached by guys at the gym because she’s really really fitness oriented and usually it means that the guy thinks that it’s important too. I think she’d prefer to be approached there than in like a coffee shop or something. He should def go for it!

 

 

Post # 10
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

He could also just say something along the lines of “good work out today?” As they cross paths on the way to the change room, washroom water fountain.

Post # 11
Member
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I smile at guys, and girls at the gym all the time. I just smile at everyone! haha. I would hate to be asked out because 1) I’m engaged, and 2) I would never want to return to the gym, ever again.

Post # 13
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Cash000 – This. I smile at people out of habit if I happen to make eye contact with them. It’s more of a courtesy nod to me than anything else. I would be flattered though if someone approached me, but have to of course figure out a nice way to let them know I’m not available, just friendly!

Post # 14
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Since they are on the treadmill at the same time – why not treadmill related converstion:

1) How long have you been a runner?

2) How many miles are you doing today

3) Hey, nice to see you again – I’ve been meaning to introduce myself:  I’m “X”. (hopefully she’ll respond in kind) …

It doesn’t have to be a full blown conversation – just something to get the stranger danger edge off…. and build from there.

I also used to watch how guys treated other people – for instance, a cute guy I had my eye on turned SO MUCH sexier when he helped a little old lady adjust the weights on the weight machine.  My advice to him would be personable with everyone and it will make a good impression on her.

 

Post # 15
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Ryansgirl: He’s just scared. Tell him to man up, really that’s all it is. Grow some balls and go say Hi. Regardless of how he does it he’s “THAT GUY”. That said, being “THAT GUY” doesn’t automatically disqualify you from a friendly interaction, maybe more.

Whatever he does- don’t approach her mid run, where she’s sweating her ass off, panting like a dog, and wiping the sweat off her red flushed face… EMBARASSING!

Post # 16
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@vmec:  You make a good point that he’s being that guy anyway so just suck it up and either talk to her or don’t.

The worst that can happen is she’ll be attached/creeped out by the gyn flirting/not interested and he’ll be a little embarassed and move on.  Life goes on – run a hard interval and get the stress and frustration out to cheer up!  I think he can maximize his chancers by trying 1) not approaching her mid-workout 2) not hitting on her right away and 3) being genuinely interested in hearing about her workout NOT telling her how she can do it better if she listens to him.

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