Post # 1
How would you react if a few of your frinds (two of them being your bridemaids) wouldn’t attend the bacheloratte party? (I didn’t even have a bridal shower to begin with). The reasons are different: no babysitter that day, friend’s b-day, short notice (4 days) etc.
Its not even something big, just a Friday evening dinner together. Am I expected to be understanding and take it easy?
To be honest I am very hurt, because those 2 bridesmaids did not even attend a group fitting because of their busy schedules. I got them very special gifts but now I regret having them in my bridal party.
Any feedback? What would you do?
PS. I try to be a “nice” bride, let them choose their own dresses, hair, jewelry, make up, shoes. Never even asked them to help withe wedding preparations…
Post # 3
Hm. I probably wouldn’t be hurt about the no babysitter situation, there isn’t really much that girl can do. However the girl who’s just going to a friends birthday? Maybe it’s just me, but that might annoy me a bit.
I probably would just try to be understanding. One of my bridesmaids left halfway through my bachelorette party because some friends that she invited were bored and she wanted to go party with them. Just gotta go with the flow I guess…
Post # 4
@saida27: If they only had 4 days notice I’d be understanding about it, people have lives and other commitments and can’t drop everything for a last-minute event.
Post # 5
4 days is really not enough notice. I often have plans a week or two in advance that it would be rude to back out of for another event.
Post # 6
4 days isn’t enough notice to really be upset about them declining IMO.
Post # 7
I don’t think I’d be annoyed since they only got 4 days notice. That’s pretty last minute for a lot of people.
Post # 8
I plan everything weeks and/or months ahead of time, so honestly 4 days is basically no notice at all for me. I would use that as my reason for not going because I probably already had plans for that date. No babysitter is also an acceptable excuse, as is another friend’s birthday party that has already been planned.
I’d be sad they couldn’t come, but understand that there was very little notice and these excuses are all legitimate in light of that
Post # 9
We invited 15 ladies to my bachelorette weekend and of that, 7 (including me) will be there. There are always a variety of reasons behind the declines: travel, expense, timing, etc. It isn’t a reflection of your friendships at all, nor should you beat yourself up about it. Your actions as a bride aren’t what drives their reasons for not attending! Feeling sad is ok, but don’t hold it against those who can’t go.
For the record, one of the girls not attending my bach is a bridesmaid. And that’s OK! Do I feel a pang when someone says no? For sure. But am I going to have less fun as a result? Nope! I plan on living it up regardless!! Just enjoy the party, enjoy the time you have with your friends and live in the moment.
Post # 10
@saida27: Hmmm…I’d probably be hurt, but I wouldn’t say anything.
If you’re planning something in the summer with only 4 days notice, you better believe that most people are already going to have plans for the weekend. If one of the girl’s has already committed to the friend’s birthday, I would probably secretly hope that she would find a way to attend both (it would be rude of her to bail on the friend), but again…with the short notice there might not be much she can do.
For some people, finding a babysitter can be difficult…four days notice might make that impossible.
I guess, the first question is: why was this planned with four days notice to guests?
(I know that that probably wasn’t your fault, but it would really effect the attendence rate for completely fair reasons)
Post # 11
Although, I can understand being disappointed, 4 days is not alot of time. Sadly there are times that people have conflicting priorities than attending a b-party. As along as they are there for your day thats what is most important.
Post # 12
Thank you ladies!
Well, reading your responces made me think that I might be overeacting. 4 days is a short nitice, I agree.
I guess the frustration/stress after MC 2 days ago messed up my emotions 🙁
Post # 13
My BMs won’t attend and wouldn’t find a way to attend, I would be hurt. But I would get over it- I am more concerned that they show up to the wedding.
Post # 14
Much like @MsMindle I had 2 bridesmaids who could not attend, and they had months’ worth advance notice – we invited 12+ (I think?) and had a group of 7, including me. Honestly, I had a great time, and while I missed those who were unable to come, it was wonderufl to spend more intimate time with those who did!