(Closed) How would you react?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hm. I probably wouldn’t be hurt about the no babysitter situation, there isn’t really much that girl can do. However the girl who’s just going to a friends birthday? Maybe it’s just me, but that might annoy me a bit. 

I probably would just try to be understanding. One of my bridesmaids left halfway through my bachelorette party because some friends that she invited were bored and she wanted to go party with them. Just gotta go with the flow I guess… 

Post # 4
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@saida27:  If they only had 4 days notice I’d be understanding about it, people have lives and other commitments and can’t drop everything for a last-minute event.

Post # 5
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

4 days is really not enough notice. I often have plans a week or two in advance that it would be rude to back out of for another event.

Post # 6
8595 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

4 days isn’t enough notice to really be upset about them declining IMO.

Post # 7
4354 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I don’t think I’d be annoyed since they only got 4 days notice. That’s pretty last minute for a lot of people.

Post # 8
13249 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I plan everything weeks and/or months ahead of time, so honestly 4 days is basically no notice at all for me.  I would use that as my reason for not going because I probably already had plans for that date.  No babysitter is also an acceptable excuse, as is another friend’s birthday party that has already been planned.

I’d be sad they couldn’t come, but understand that there was very little notice and these excuses are all legitimate in light of that

Post # 9
1736 posts
Bumble bee

We invited 15 ladies to my bachelorette weekend and of that, 7 (including me) will be there. There are always a variety of reasons behind the declines: travel, expense, timing, etc. It isn’t a reflection of your friendships at all, nor should you beat yourself up about it. Your actions as a bride aren’t what drives their reasons for not attending! Feeling sad is ok, but don’t hold it against those who can’t go.

For the record, one of the girls not attending my bach is a bridesmaid. And that’s OK! Do I feel a pang when someone says no? For sure. But am I going to have less fun as a result? Nope! I plan on living it up regardless!! Just enjoy the party, enjoy the time you have with your friends and live in the moment.

Post # 10
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@saida27:  Hmmm…I’d probably be hurt, but I wouldn’t say anything.

If you’re planning something in the summer with only 4 days notice, you better believe that most people are already going to have plans for the weekend.  If one of the girl’s has already committed to the friend’s birthday, I would probably secretly hope that she would find a way to attend both (it would be rude of her to bail on the friend), but again…with the short notice there might not be much she can do.

For some people, finding a babysitter can be difficult…four days notice might make that impossible.

I guess, the first question is: why was this planned with four days notice to guests?

(I know that that probably wasn’t your fault, but it would really effect the attendence rate for completely fair reasons)

Post # 11
7387 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Although, I can understand being disappointed, 4 days is not alot of time. Sadly there are times that people have conflicting priorities than attending a b-party. As along as they are there for your day thats what is most important.

Post # 13
3304 posts
Sugar bee

My BMs won’t attend and wouldn’t find a way to attend, I would be hurt. But I would get over it- I am more concerned that they show up to the wedding.

Post # 14
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Much like @MsMindle I had 2 bridesmaids who could not attend, and they had months’ worth advance notice – we invited 12+ (I think?) and had a group of 7, including me.  Honestly, I had a great time, and while I missed those who were unable to come, it was wonderufl to spend more intimate time with those who did!

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