(Closed) How Would You React If Your Friend Said "NO" to being your bridesmaid?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: How would you react
    I would be fine with it and continue on with wedding planning : (39 votes)
    30 %
    I would react fine but be hurt inside : (82 votes)
    62 %
    I would be offended because I was a bridesmaid for her : (5 votes)
    4 %
    Other? Please explain : (6 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1975 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @ysl1983:  it really depends on situations/ reasoning. i asked my best friend to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man but not before asking her if she was sure a million times over. She is a single mum to a now 18month old daughter, she plans to move states soon (therfore would have to fly) general cost of dress on top. We both cant drive which makes it harder to go to dress fittings ect. If she said no i would of been perfectly fine

     

    My other Bridesmaid or Best Man is my sister who is wealthy, has a husband to help look after their 18month old girl, i was a Bridesmaid or Best Man for her, we live maybe 5 minutes away. I would be upset if she said no

    Post # 4
    Member
    2554 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I can see myself being hurt and being a little upset at first (not outwardly) but then I’d come to be understanding. I think unless I had an idea a friend might say no it’d shock me a bit at first.

    Post # 5
    Member
    8472 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    For as sensitive a person as I am, I would have been very upset.  However, I knew exactly who would say yes so it wasn’t a big deal to me.  I did think one might have said no only because we had a falling out about a year and a half before I asked her, and it’s a big story after that too, but she said Yes! Smile

    Post # 6
    Member
    774 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would prefer them rather to say no, then not be 100% into being a bridesmaid.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1849 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I think I’d feel a little hurt, but I wouldn’t hold it against her. I guess disappointed is a better word for it. Though it would be much easier to accept if this friend lived far away or was extremely busy. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    4951 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I would probably be a bit hurt, but would let it go. Like a previous poster said, I’d rather them be honest up front than half-ass things later. 🙂

    Post # 9
    Member
    804 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I voted “other” because it would depend on the circumstances; I would always react with courtesy on the outside, but internally I might be really upset depending on who said no and why.

    My sister just dropped out of the wedding party because I left an opening for her when I sensed she didn’t want to be involved, and it really confused me why she wanted to drop out.  She said it was because things have been so stressed between us since she’s been in the wedding party (she did call me a bridezilla), but I literally only asked her to buy a dress of her choice somewhere in the turquoise family and show up so I’m not sure why she feels that way.  I’m confused more than I am hurt I guess?  I guess I’m a little hurt, but I understand that she has other things going on in her life and I’d rather preserve my relationship with her.

    But, if she had nothing major going on in her life (she’s got three children under 5 years old…she has the right to be overwhelmed as far as I’m concerned) and I had been in her wedding party (which I was), I think I’d be much more upset.  It’s hard to give and then have someone else only take, especially when you’re not asking for much.  Especially if you’re close to someone.

    Post # 10
    Member
    275 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    My best friend had to decline being a bridesmaid. She’s in her final year of law school, has two kids and is living on a single income. I was disappoited but not hurt as I totally understood her situation.

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    depending on the circumstances i would either be mildly disappointed of a little hurt probably.  I would understand though and it wouldn’t affect our friendship.

    Post # 12
    Member
    934 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I was very sure that my bridesmaids would say yes. I definitely didn’t ask someone who I wasn’t sure would say yes.

    As for the other side – someone asked me to be a bridesmaid and I said no. I had just started dating my now Fiance, and his ex-girlfriend (who he is still friends with) asked me to be a bridesmaid. I had only known her for about 9 months at this point and we were not especially close. I found out from my Fiance that she had asked me instead of asking one of her high school friends for whom she had been a bridesmaid. It was a situation that I was very uncomfortable with, so I said no. I felt bad about it but now I know it was the correct decision, as she and that bridesmaid have continued their close relationship to this day.

    ETA: I think my refusal did affect our relationship, as she invited Fiance and to the wedding as ‘FI and Guest.’ Haha. We seem cool now though.

    Post # 13
    Member
    5096 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    It would completely depend on the reasons and circumstances. If it were due to finances, life events, physical or mental health issues, I would 100% understand. If it were because they felt they couldn’t stand up with me for one reason or another, I would be hurt, no doubt.

    Post # 14
    Member
    558 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015 - Thorpewood

    I think I would feel more awkward than hurt.  I mean, if I’m like “hey will you be a bridesmaid!?”  And they say no, I think I’d just be like, “uhhh, ok, cool.  So…I just remembered I have to go wash my hair.  Talk to you later!”

    Our friendship wouldn’t suffer or anything.  I would just feel really awkward in the moment.

    Post # 15
    Member
    7749 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I voted “other” because I would never make expense or time a reason not to be a bridesmaid, so I would make sure they could be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. I paid for my BMs’ dresses. All I wanted was a modest bachelorette party (hens’ night as we call it here), and for them to wear the dresses I chose and be there to support me on my wedding day.

    Post # 16
    Member
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I think it depends on the situation. If it because she maybe couldn’t make the wedding, well obviously she couldn’t be a bridesmaid. If she just didn’t want to… I’d be hurt.

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