(Closed) How would you react to this?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 93
Member
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am kind of sad reading this post….

My Fiance and I are in our twenties and we’ve been dealt a pretty hard hand when it comes to finances and especially in this economic recession it is hard to pay for a wedding let alone our own living and barely being able to help our friends. 

We both are close friends with a couple who recently found out that L&I isn’t going to help with her boyfriend’s recent disability and surgery and now they have turned to the news channels and friends. They’ve set up a fund in this man’s name to try and help him out and people have only been giving $10, $15 maybe $25, but it is the best they can do and this couple have been so gracious about it, sure it isn’t much, but they’re thankful for whatever people can give them. 

We’re saving up what we can to give them a monetary gift for Christmas to help with his surgery, and I can tell you now it is not going to be big…It probably won’t even be $50, but we’re giving this money from our hearts. I don’t stay in contact with this couple all the time, so sometimes they might feel like we’re neglecting them, but they also understand that we’re working hard in our lives to try and stay afloat, we’re doing the best we can and that is all we can say and do at the moment. 

Granted the people you’re talking about go on vacations but that doesn’t mean they owe you an explaination about it, $50 is a generous gift in my opinion, and that could go a long way in helping you out somewhere. What is so hard about not looking deeper then what she did? She came, she gave, why must it be more complicated then that? I think the most important thing in these types of functions is the presence of loved ones supporting you and sharing in this happy time of your life, that is not complicated or tainted. Don’t expect people to give and wear exactly what you had in mind just be happy for the people in your life, give thanks that you’re here at this point in your life with a great group of people. Sometimes people can’t come, sometimes they show up late, but give a smile and keep having fun this is a party, celebrate it! 

I wish you the best and hope you can find your own happiness out of this situation and enjoy what you have.

Post # 94
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Shouldn’t you be glad your aunt came to your surprise shower over an hour late? I can’t even imagine the tantrum you’d throw if she accidentally ran into you in the parking lot as you were being led into the surprise shower and ruined your “major milestone” of an event. I was once running late to a friend’s surprise party so I hung out at home for a bit to make sure I didn’t accidentally ruin the surprise by arriving at the same time as him. 

Post # 95
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Maybe she had other things she was doing the day of your surprise shower, finished and was able to make an appearance?

An invitation to a wedding or a bridal shower is not a bill. I know this is rude, but appreciate the $50. One of my bridesmaids gave us a $50 Visa gift card, and Fiance and I used it towards a new dining room table that we bought on sale. So, that $50 is far more useful than it would have been as a platter. We truly use it every day.

Post # 96
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think you’re being kind of snobby about this.

1. I wouldnt be offended if people show up in jeans.

2. Sure I would wonder why my aunt was late, but it wouldnt change my mind of her. I have been in situations with paying student loans that I couldn’t afford to give gifts and so put my name on a gift of my mothers as well. The amount of money shouldnt even be an issue for you. YOUR shower is not about WHAT you can GET. It’s about being around the ones you love. I WOULDNT care if people didnt give me anything, as long as they showed up.

 

Honestly re-read your post after your wedding, I think you’ll realize you sound a little ridiculous.

Post # 97
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

You are chosing to put on this wedding that will be ‘$600 a person’, she is not obligated to give you a gift – no one is, in fact. It’s an expectation that has developed but it is greedy and incorrect. Let it go.

Post # 98
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@hummingbird2627:  I didn’t read the entire thread because it is already so long, but from your origional post I think you are beign incredibly rude. She went. She gave you a gift. You have no right to ask for anything else. You aren’t entitled to anything.

 

I’m gonna go off on a limb here and say you’re having a bride brain moment. I’m gonna assume that you don’t have such a self centered way of thinking all the time, because seriously, this stuff happens. I had a self centered bride moment recently and in hindsight I’m shocked about it. Take a moment, be reasonable, and let this pass. And if this DOESN’T pass, and this IS jsut how you are, you’re aunt is better off if you DO cut ties with her…

Post # 99
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You sound like a spoiled brat throwing a temper tantrum. She gave you a gift, you should be happy to receive anything – especially nowadays with people being so hard pressed for money. I know you mentioned that you were spending $600/person, which is fine, but the gifts you are given have no correlation with how much money you’ve decided to spend on your wedding. I would drop the whole issue and be happy that you were given a gift and stop acting like the world owes you something. Seriously.

Post # 100
Member
1099 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

The jean thing, not a big deal. One of my MIL’s friends wore jeans to a wedding. 

Showing up late…. Well at least she came. 

And the $50, be thankful for her gift to you. She really didn’t HAVE to get you anything. My aunt for my shower got me a horribly ugly/cheap smiley face cutting board and a very old/off brand hand mixer that you could tell she had in her basement, it had dust and water stains on the box. i just said whatever and chalked it up to her being a bitch, I am her least favorite niece. 

But all of this stuff is certainly nothing to start a family feud over. 

Post # 101
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@hummingbird2627:  I don’t want to sound mean but you sound very entitled. nobody is obliged to give you any thing, even if you think you deserve it (And your post leads me to believe that you dont deserve that much t be honest)! $50 is still a gift that you wouldn’t have had otherwise, so show some gratitude for goodness sake girl! say thank you and mean it genuinely, ad dont even comment on the lateness or dress, you dont know what was going on n her life duringthat day and honestly your bridal shower isn’t a big deal to everyone. The amount that she gave you shouldn’t be considered as a percentage of her annual income. Why should she not go onoliday to support your decision t set up home and get married? Surely if you can make that decision you should be able t support yourself, and it’s not her fault that you chose an expensive venue. 

if somebody returned a gift I gave them because they wanted more I Would cut that person out of my life so I didn’t have to deal with the brattiness. What do your family make of your reaction to your aunts kindness????

Post # 102
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@hummingbird2627:  having read your other posts on this thread I’m quite sad. It’s girls like you that give our generation a bad name. 

Post # 103
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Wow.

Just wow.

“How would I react to this?”    Well, I would write a thank you card, and it would be sincere.  And thats about it.

 

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