How would you respond in this situation? – Wedding Related

posted 4 months ago in Weddingbee
Post # 2
2825 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

She’s being dramatic…

She told you that she wasn’t going to attend the wedding because she’s upset that she isn’t a bridesmaid, so why on earth would she be planning to attend the bachelorette party? And why would she assume she can just call you up for a place to crash long after the plans have been made?

Honestly, it does sound like she is upset that you have other priorities over her, but that’s part of growing up.

Post # 3
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

I can see her side of being hurt. She thought you guys were much closer, and you picked other people to be in your wedding and not her, you are letting other people stay at your house and not her, etc. But she needs to be an adult at this point. SHe’s obviously hurt, but being very childish and petty about it. How you handle it would depend on if you want to remain friends after the wedding. Do you want to maintain or rebuild this relationship? If yes, I’d make a bigger effort to include her, and tell her to bring an air mattress to your place. If no, I’d stand strong and realize the friendship might fade after the wedding. Or maybe even before (which might save more drama in the end lol)

Post # 4
998 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

futuremrspepper :  All of her previous drama set aside, can you elaborate on how the sleeping arrangements were planned? Was staying at your house a first-come-first-serve deal? Did you give preference? Was it made painfully clear that if people didn’t call dibs at your house by a deadline that they were SOL and needed to find their own lodging?

Is it weird that for a bachelorette party you have people staying in different locations? Part of the fun is having a giant sleepover with your friends!

Post # 5
3532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

You’re perfectly within your right to choose whomever you want for your bridal party. However, I can understand why she would ne hurt about not being invited to stay at your place for the bachelorette when it seems like everyone else is. You say 9 people are staying many are going?

Post # 6
938 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

It sounds like you’re not really invested in this friendship, so you could just let it go.

That said, I do think the bachelorette situation was poorly planned on your part. It sounds like there were just too many people invited, so now they’re divided into two groups, a big contingent who get to stay at your place and others who are left out. That’s not a great dynamic and is guaranteed to lead to hurt feelings. I’d just invite everyone to stay with you—possibly kicking out Fiance to go stay with a friend, because it also seems weird for him to be present at the bachelorette.

Post # 8
1481 posts
Bumble bee

futuremrspepper :  If it were me the second she declared she wasn’t coming to the wedding bc she decided to be petty i would have cut her off from any wedding events period. To let her come to the bachelorette party is like rewarding that childish tantrum behavior. Why anyone would think they could come to the bachelorette and not the wedding is beyond me. Unless it was a very close friend and they were sincere in telling me they couldn’t attend my wedding for a very real reason. I think you should stop replying to her at all and let he figure it out aka F off. lol. 

Post # 9
1905 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I think the problem here is that she was included in wedding events for a wedding she declared she had no interest in attending. Not that she couldn’t attend due to costs of traveling to the destination, etc., but that she wouldn’t attend out of anger for your decision regarding her role. I’m not sure why someone who decides not to be there for your actual wedding would be interested in or invited to activities related to the wedding.

Post # 10
4287 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I can understand why she would feel left out.  I’m sure it hurt that she thought you were close enough to be included in the bridal party and it probably stung when she found out you didn’t see the friendship the same way.  You can pick whoever you want but someone can feel hurt.  I think the bachelorette was a poorly planned and it does look like she was left out.  Why did the Maid/Matron of Honor not share any details with her?  Why do you have 9 people staying at yours but not her?

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