(Closed) How would you respond to this? (“We are only doing kid gifts this year”)

posted 8 years ago in Holidays
  • poll: If a family member told you they weren't doing adult presents, just kid presents this year, you'd:
    Feel great: one less adult gift to buy for THEM : (58 votes)
    51 %
    Feel ambivalent: who cares - their gifting won't change my gifting habits : (23 votes)
    20 %
    Feel annoyed: being kid-less, why do they need to tell me they aren't buying me anything? : (29 votes)
    25 %
    Other.... : (4 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    47214 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Unless you left a lot out of the story, she didn’t tell you what you had to do, she just told you what they were going to do.

    You can do what you want.

    Perhaps she was just trying to give you a heads up, so you could adjust to the idea before Christmas.

    Post # 4
    10849 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I’m just going to go out and say it: I like presents. LOL! However, I don’t have a HUGE family, so maybe if there were a ton of people to buy for, I would feel differently and get on board with that, but I really do love giving (and receiving) presents and I would also feel disappointed.

    Post # 5
    215 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I doubt it has anything to do with you being a couple, therefore challenging to buy for.  I know for me, it was a relief because Christmas gets very very expensive when you have kids.  I was also glad because it meant less people buying things they couldn’t afford just because they feel obligated.  I wouldn’t be offended by it.

    Post # 6
    9816 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Gift giving is a personal thing. She’s just letting people know “Hey, we’re only getting gifts for the kids this year” who knows, maybe that’s all they are able to do? My friends and I say the same thing “Hey, we’re only getting gifts for immediate family.” I don’t want to buy 50 people a gift if I can’t afford it, so it lets them know they shouldn’t go out and get me anything. But you can get gifts for anyone you want to. She’s just letting you know what she is doing.

    Post # 8
    1796 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I think you may be reading a lot in to this. The first thing I think of in this kind of situation is that they are probably having some financial issues, but still want to give the kids a special Christmas. She probably just gave you a heads up, so you wouldn’t be shocked at Christmas.

    Post # 10
    2696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Eh, my family started doing secret santa a few years ago, but we all bought gifts for my nephew and neice. It worked out great. My feeling is the less people to buy for, the better! Then the holiday becomes really about spending time with family and making it fun for the kiddos.

    Post # 11
    9816 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @oracle: I don’t know. You didn’t mention that in your original post. It’s kind of weird, but at the same time it is just a gift. Gifts are nice but shoudln’t be expected. If what’s really bugging you is tension with your sister and you don’t know what her problem is, you should call her and try to talk it out.

    Post # 12
    3367 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    My family has started doing the kid only thing.  I think it gets expensive once the kids are in the picture and if we’re spending the money we want it to be on them.  It’s a relief to me, so I don’t see it as rude or the easy way out. 

    ETA None of the replies were there when I responded, so it would be odd if she gets adult gift for some and not others. 

    Post # 13
    2232 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I was about to agree with the others, that to me it’s not a big deal. I actually would love it if we only did gifts for the kids (we do secret santa for the adults). However, you last comment makes it seem like they did get gifts for adults, just not you & your husband and another couple. That’s a different situation altogether. 

    Post # 14
    565 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Did they get other adults gifts? I’m a tad bit confused. If they didn’t get any other adults gifts, maybe it’s financial.

    My family is very large. I am the oldest grand child of a family of 7 children. Buying for everyone is impossible, so we do a secret santa for adults, so you get a gift or two, and then get all the kids gifts.

    Post # 15
    2103 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Eh. We stopped doing gifts except for kids several years ago. We don’t have kids…in fact, there’s only 2 kids in my immediate family, one neice and one nephew.

    The grownups on my side of the family pool our money together and adopt a family that can’t afford to give their own kids presents.

    I think my husbands grown-up sister was disappointed we didn’t give her a present, she still gave us one, which was fine, but then don’t be pissy that it’s not being reciprocated.

    Post # 16
    3374 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Honestly the older people get the harder it is to buy gifts for them.

    I’d be hurt though because I don’t have a kid.

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