Post # 32
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
I agree that the real issue here is that you and your husband are the only ones without kids and therefore you get totally left out. And honestly, I think that’s kind of crappy.
I’m surprised at so many people complaining about how difficult it is to buy gifts. And what a hassle it is. I LOVE to buy gifts for my friends and family. Even in years that I can’t spend a lot of money I do put a lot of time and effort into gift giving. It makes me incredibly happy to pick something out that I know my loved one will love and to see them enjoy. I certainly don’t just buy “socks, whiskey, and biscuit assortment” each year.
Post # 33
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
On my side of the family, the adults with children don’t get presents. My brothers just set that up at some point. I love it…I get to spoil my little neices and nephews (so fun to shop for kids!) and I can divert what money I would have spent on my brothers and SILs to their children.
I get one present from each brother’s family. I think that’s nice.
In my FI’s family, everyone gets a present. Sometimes, that seems pretty childish to me. We spend as much money on the parents (FI’s siblings and their spouses) as we do on the children on that side.
Post # 34
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
@Moose1209: I know right? Buying gifts for people is one of my favorite things in the whole world!! Watching them open that gift is even better 🙂 Even when we are struggling anf tight on money I take the challenge to think of extroadinary gifts on a budget 🙂
Post # 35
Member
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper
@Moose1209: yep, you just summed up my feelings in your first two sentences! It also doesn’t help that I have a rocky relationship with my sister since Darling Husband and I became engaged, so it just makes me all the more sensitive. But, I’m not going to let the issues get in the way of my enjoyment of the season or my love of gifting things to my family.
Post # 36
Member
1086 posts
Bumble bee
If they are broke, I suggest you all do secret santa.
Post # 37
Member
5493 posts
Bee Keeper
@Moose1209: i totally agree. I love buying gifts for people I love. I put a lot of time and effort coming up with something and picking it out and I love to see how happy that thoughtful gift makes them. To me it’s not a burden at all and even when money is tight, and gifts get downgraded, I would still want to show my loved ones that I thought of them.
I completely disagree that christmas is for kids only. Adults like presents too!
Post # 38
Member
3374 posts
Sugar bee
What about everyone picking an adult out of a hat to gift? All of the kids get gifts and the adult gets a gift (about $50). That way everyone gets a gift and no one is over extended?
Post # 39
Member
1575 posts
Bumble bee
I grew up in a family where there are no gifts after the age of 18 years old.
I did not follow this after I went on my own. I get friends and relatives “token” gifts – usually a tree ornament that pays for a tree to be planted to reforest the US.
I do not spend a lot of gifts for my FH either, usually a stocking of little gifts and a nice shirt or something.
That’s it.
I CELEBRATE the winter holidays, I do NOT stress out about gifts.
Post # 40
Member
1052 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars
@Meowkers: Exactly!
I think child only gifts is ok ONLY when everyone in the family has a child. Otherwise you are buying gifts for everyone else’s kids without any reciprocation.
Post # 41
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
I don’t get the idea that people without kids get shafted. You’re not buying presents for the adults…you’re buying them for the kids, who are your nieces and nephews and who you presumably love and want to see them all happy and glowy when they get all those presents.
BUT, if it still bothers you that you’re geting “the shaft” the obvious sollution is to buy your nieces and nephews the MOST OBNOXIOUS, LOUD toys the store offers. A toy drumkit? YES! Then not only are you getting the kids a gift, but you’re punishing their parents!
Post # 42
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
My family’s been doing gifts for kids only for years now. Works out great. However, we always play that popular gift swapping game as well, so it’s fun and everyone ends up with 1 gift and no one is left out.
Post # 43
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
I suggested a “gifts for the kids only” christmas two years ago and it’s been a big hit in our family.
when I go to visit my family, for the adults I bring gourmet food and good quality alcohol that we share together.
Post # 44
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
@missrobots: Hee hee!
I have to admit that I kind of laughed over getting my youngest niece hooked on American Girl stuff (I’ve giving her a doll & her first outfit this Christmas). My brother and SIL are going to be spending a lot of time in that store over the next few years. 🙂
Post # 45
Member
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
Money is tight these days. My first thought was that they are only buying kids gifts to save money. I don’t see her statement as any slight towards you. Her first priority is to take care of her household. IMO, what’s the point of spending money on gifts for adults that the adults really don’t need? And… the adult already knows there is no such thing as Santa. The whole Santa thing is really for the kids. I think it is her assumption all adults recognize this. If you want to give her or her children gifts, give them. But remember, the purpose of giving gifts isn’t just so you can get gifts in return.
Post # 46
Member
2691 posts
Sugar bee
I would buy her a gift and give it to her. Explain that you didn’t realize she meant that you couldn’t buy gifts for everyone. If she refuses it, then it’s her etiquette problem, not yours.
Member