(Closed) How would you respond to this? (“We are only doing kid gifts this year”)

posted 8 years ago in Holidays
  • poll: If a family member told you they weren't doing adult presents, just kid presents this year, you'd:
    Feel great: one less adult gift to buy for THEM : (58 votes)
    51 %
    Feel ambivalent: who cares - their gifting won't change my gifting habits : (23 votes)
    20 %
    Feel annoyed: being kid-less, why do they need to tell me they aren't buying me anything? : (29 votes)
    25 %
    Other.... : (4 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 32
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I agree that the real issue here is that you and your husband are the only ones without kids and therefore you get totally left out.  And honestly, I think that’s kind of crappy. 

    I’m surprised at so many people complaining about how difficult it is to buy gifts.  And what a hassle it is.  I LOVE to buy gifts for my friends and family.  Even in years that I can’t spend a lot of money I do put a lot of time and effort into gift giving.  It makes me incredibly happy to pick something out that I know my loved one will love and to see them enjoy.  I certainly don’t just buy “socks, whiskey, and biscuit assortment” each year.


    Post # 33
    1679 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    On my side of the family, the adults with children don’t get presents.  My brothers just set that up at some point.  I love it…I get to spoil my little neices and nephews (so fun to shop for kids!) and I can divert what money I would have spent on my brothers and SILs to their children.

    I get one present from each brother’s family.  I think that’s nice. 


    In my FI’s family, everyone gets a present.  Sometimes, that seems pretty childish to me.  We spend as much money on the parents (FI’s siblings and their spouses) as we do on the children on that side. 

    Post # 34
    1526 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @Moose1209: I know right? Buying gifts for people is one of my favorite things in the whole world!! Watching them open that gift is even better 🙂 Even when we are struggling anf tight on money I take the challenge to think of extroadinary gifts on a budget 🙂

    Post # 36
    1086 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    If they are broke, I suggest you all do secret santa.

    Post # 37
    5493 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @Moose1209: i totally agree.  I love buying gifts for people I love.  I put a lot of time and effort coming up with something and picking it out and I love to see how happy that thoughtful gift makes them.  To me it’s not a burden at all and even when money is tight, and gifts get downgraded, I would still want to show my loved ones that I thought of them.

    I completely disagree that christmas is for kids only.  Adults like presents too!

    Post # 38
    3374 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    What about everyone picking an adult out of a hat to gift? All of the kids get gifts and the adult gets a gift (about $50). That way everyone gets a gift and no one is over extended?

    Post # 39
    1575 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I grew up in a family where there are no gifts after the age of 18 years old.


    I did not follow this after I went on my own. I get friends and relatives “token” gifts – usually a tree ornament that pays for a tree to be planted to reforest the US.


    I do not spend a lot of gifts for my FH either, usually a stocking of little gifts and a nice shirt or something.

    That’s it.


    I CELEBRATE the winter holidays, I do NOT stress out about gifts.

    Post # 40
    1052 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars

    @Meowkers: Exactly!

    I think child only gifts is ok ONLY when everyone in the family has a child.  Otherwise you are buying gifts for everyone else’s kids without any reciprocation.

    Post # 41
    2103 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I don’t get the idea that people without kids get shafted. You’re not buying presents for the adults…you’re buying them for the kids, who are your nieces and nephews and who you presumably love and want to see them all happy and glowy when they get all those presents.

    BUT, if it still bothers you that you’re geting “the shaft” the obvious sollution is to buy your nieces and nephews the MOST OBNOXIOUS, LOUD toys the store offers. A toy drumkit? YES! Then not only are you getting the kids a gift, but you’re punishing their parents!

    Post # 42
    520 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    My family’s been doing gifts for kids only for years now.  Works out great.  However, we always play that popular gift swapping game as well, so it’s fun and everyone ends up with 1 gift and no one is left out.

    Post # 43
    3148 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    I suggested a “gifts for the kids only” christmas two years ago and it’s been a big hit in our family. 

    when I go to visit my family, for the adults I bring gourmet food and good quality alcohol that we share together. 

    Post # 44
    1679 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @missrobots: Hee hee! 

    I have to admit that I kind of laughed over getting my youngest niece hooked on American Girl stuff (I’ve giving her a doll & her first outfit this Christmas).  My brother and SIL are going to be spending a lot of time in that store over the next few years.  🙂

    Post # 45
    2441 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Money is tight these days.  My first thought was that they are only buying kids gifts to save money.  I don’t see her statement as any slight towards you.  Her first priority is to take care of her household.  IMO, what’s the point of spending money on gifts for adults that the adults really don’t need?  And… the adult already knows there is no such thing as Santa.  The whole Santa thing is really for the kids.  I think it is her assumption all adults recognize this.  If you want to give her or her children gifts, give them.  But remember, the purpose of giving gifts isn’t just so you can get gifts in return. 

    Post # 46
    2691 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I would buy her a gift and give it to her. Explain that you didn’t realize she meant that you couldn’t buy gifts for everyone. If she refuses it, then it’s her etiquette problem, not yours.

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