How would YOU take this statement?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

You shouldn’t assume the worst.  

Post # 17
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

SaraJeanQ :  i agree

 

she probably meant “sounds good, unless something happens and I can’t make it (illness, someone she can’t cancel…etc.,.) 

Post # 18
Member
1894 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I wouldnt take it too personally. One of my BM’s hates shopping, so its hard for her to even come to Bridesmaid or Best Man dress shopping, let alone my appointment. I am just bringing my Maid/Matron of Honor, Future Mother-In-Law and future grandmother in law.

Post # 19
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

smithkennedy78 :  just let it go and accept that she might not be there. Not worth it to be upset over. The upshot is that if she doesn’t come, she’ll have no say in the dress and will just have to get whatever is chosen. I’d say something along the lines of, “shopping appointment for bm dresses is officially dec 3 at X time for all who can make it. If you’re unable to come, we’ll miss you and let you know what dress to purchase.”

Post # 20
Member
6805 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Is there a chance she was trying to be funny? Because that’s totally a way I’d respond to one of my friends, but I’m super sarcastic. 

Either way, this is not something to get overly upset about. She probably didn’t phrase it well but your wedding is never going to be as important to other people as it is to you. Maybe she meant that it was impossible for her to commit that far in advance. Who knows. The point is, as you said, she’s one of your best friends and you said she’s pretty flakey anyway so there’s no reason to get pissed about this. Your friendship is more important than some offhanded comment I would think. 

Post # 21
Member
6650 posts
Bee Keeper

It wouldn’t bother me at all. But–I didn’t ask anyone to dress shop with me. Have your moment and let it go. It doesn’t sound as if this is out of character for her and yes, in the complicated lives most of us live these days, it’s not unreasonable to think something could come up that would prevent her from attending. 

Post # 22
Member
6805 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

catskillbride :  I think this is for WEDDING dress shopping. Not Bridesmaid or Best Man dress shopping. Correct me if I’m wrong OP. 

Post # 23
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

I know you will find a beautiful dress, and the people that care and that matter will be right beside you.

Echoing other bees, anything can happen to cause a change in plans. She didn’t really have to say this because it’s true for everyone, but maybe she also knows that she is flaky and doesn’t want you to feel upset if she can’t follow through. I would advise that you assume that she won’t make it. If she doesn’t make it, oh well! If she happens to be there, that’s great! You didn’t anticipate she would be there, so it’s an added surprise.

Post # 24
Member
1031 posts
Bumble bee

I say this ALL the time. I have two kids, a husband and in general a life. Things come up that I have no control over. 

Post # 25
Member
5049 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

I think you are over analyzing and being a bit too sensitive.  If I were you I would have responded, “thanks, I really hope you can make it, it means a lot to me to have you there by my side”.

Post # 26
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Its prob just her passive aggressive way of saying “yah I’ll come but I’m not very excited about it”

Post # 27
Member
6294 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m pretty laid back and easy going, but that would rub me up the wrong way too; obviously lots of things could potentially trump wedding dress shopping (especially in the run up to Christmas), but there’s a big difference between saying something like ‘Eek, how exciting! I’ll try to make it but will confirmnearer the time as I know we can be super busy with family/work/whatever in December’ and what she said. That said, things can come across wrong over text, so it could be that she meant it in a jokey way. 

But yeah, I would be a bit miffed. I’m kind of sick of the attitude on here that it’s somehow unreasonable to hope your nearest and dearest might be actually a bit excited about your wedding/not be flat out rude about it. 

Post # 28
Member
281 posts
Helper bee

Maybe she’s saying she’s usually busy during that so something important might come up? I wouldn’t just assume that it’s a “untill something more fun comes along” thing unless she has a habit of doing that. 

And if she does have a habit of doing that then well…you know this about her and still choose to be her friend so you kinda have to deal with it or not be friends.

Post # 29
Member
1703 posts
Bumble bee

smithkennedy78 :  

For what it’s worth – when I was single or even in a relationship, the thought of shopping for a wedding dress for someone else was kind of depressing…now that i am married, I would LOVE to go wedding dress shopping. 

Post # 30
Member
2014 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I would take that as “If something else comes up family/health/bigger deal then a dress I am not wearing” she should make it. 

 

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