(Closed) Delete

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I know this is hard, but try not to stress about the meaning. Maybe he just means that he won’t have a suit to wear, so a boutonniere would look weird without it? I know that it’s hard not to read extra into it because of the history there, but I would honestly just ignore it, not order him a boutonniere, and look forward to brother attending the wedding. Good luck with everything!


Post # 4
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Don’t read too much into the text.  If you want to know what he’s really thinking, call him.

Post # 6
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am sorry you are having to go through this.

I would just try to take it at face value. I don’t think that he meant anything by it; he is just a blunt person. I don’t know him, so I can’t say for sure, but that is how I read it.

I am happy for you that your brother will be able to attend too.

Also, if I were you, I would order him a boutonniere anyway; just in case he changes his mind. As far as him wearing jeans, it won’t matter on your day, you will be to busy with other things to really notice, and he won’t be in all of the pictures, so it shouldn’t bother you to much after the fact. We had our wedding at a very formal location and my hubby’s boss showed up in jeans. I didn’t even notice, until we got the pictures back. I still can’t believe he wore jeans because his wife, from what I understand had been to weddings at our venue before, but there was really nothing we can do or could have done. By The Way, she wore slacks and a blouse… I just don’t get some people, but anyway, this is your post. Try not to worry about it. Your day will be beautiful whether he wears jeans or not.

Just consider the source and the probability that he is just a very blunt and to the point person. I see him getting in touch with you as his way of an apology and wanting to make things right between the two of you.

Post # 7
1285 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I don’t think his answer has a special meaning. The only thing he says is that he is not wearing a suit. Maybe he doesn’t have one, or doesn’t like wearing one or any other reason.

I would call him or maybe send him a message asking if he’s absolutely sure about not wearing a suit, or if he thinks you should order a boutonniere just in case he might change his mind

Post # 10
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Ditto on not reading too much into it.  Some men get really weird about suits and he’s probably feeling a ton of pressure as the day approaches.  While yes, he’s FOB, to some people ‘dressing up’ is a totally different thing.  And, I’d have one for him (like other’s suggested).  They shouldn’t add to the cost more than $10 or so, and even if he doesn’t wear it, it might be a nice favor for him to take home.

I think it’s important not to have too many expectations that your dad will all of a sudden be this emotionally sensitive person (not that you are doing that – but I wouldn’t expect him to respond any differently to that text) – regardless, I think it does say something that he at least wants to try and knows that it’s an important day in your life (regardless of what he wears).

And – not that you asked – but I feel like if he wanted to give you money, he should do so as a wedding gift – and not like how a parent typically contributes to the wedding.  Do you know what I mean?

Post # 12
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I took it as he doesn’t have a suit to wear and might think it will look weird.  But that’s of course without knowing it all.

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