- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
Aw, my heart breaks to hear about the loss of your mom. It’s really great to see your dad wanting to get more involved with the wedding planning. Bear hugs!
I completely agree on keeping extra work to a minimum! I am getting the calligraphy down this Sunday — the artwork was completed weeks ago; if it’s not perfect, there’s always text wrap in MS Word, using handwritten fonts, as a back-up plan. The template’s actually quite easy — I just haven’t had the strength to continue planning with the invites to make the wedding “official”, so to speak.
It’s actually been nice to take a bit of a break, here and there, from wedding planning and remember as much cherished moments as I can, together with my Fiance — since we never had the chance to say goodbye to my dad. I was beating myself up because I was too busy to call home often — then, Fiance pointed out to me that something about my attitude wasn’t healthy and wasn’t a great way to honour my dad. And yes, you are right. I’ve been making an ongoing effort to connect more with my mom and brother — it helps. My brother suggested that I go see a grief counsellor, which I am seriously considering.
My Fiance is also taking the loss of my dad pretty bad. He was sort of blaming himself for waiting so long; he asked for my dad’s blessings four years ago. HOWEVER, I told him that it’s not his fault. Nobody saw this coming.
Hugs, losing a parent is never easy. I have been coping by imagining conversations with my dad. At first I thought I was going crazy, but after talking to family members who went through tough losses, it is a great way to honour their memories.
Likewise, KatB442, if you ever need to talk about planning a celebration after a loss, we’re all here for each other. 🙂 (Hence, I created this thread) I always find that sharing our own experiences help — grief is a complex process; there isn’t any timeline at all. After reading various recommended stories and articles on grief, I’m hoping to turn this into a positive experience: write about it, have a good cry; make time for activities which both my dad and I enjoyed together as a way to honour him, such as playing music and drawing/art. For me, whenever I play the piano, it becomes a great emotional release.
I promise to check back often on this thread. It takes a lot of courage, love and support from everyone close to you — to come to the unanimous decision of keeping any original wedding plans. My mother’s and her best friend’s words, “Looking forward to a happier occasion in June.” Of course, the support of people who understand the grieving process really, really helps too.