(Closed) How young is too young for MOH?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
9575 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Id pick your sister for sure! Your other BMs can help her plan things if they want to because I woudnt expect a teenager to be fluent in wedding. No harm in talking to your folks about it first to get their thoughts.

Post # 3
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

My Maid/Matron of Honor is my daughter who will be 12 by the time of the wedding. My other bridesmaid is my niece who is 13. This is a second wedding for me so I’m not having a shower or bachelorette party. She really has no duties as a Maid/Matron of Honor. 

Good luck with your decision and happy planning. 

Post # 4
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

View original reply
kcoast:  I chose my younger sister as my Maid/Matron of Honor. She was 19 at the time (I was 31) and 10 hours away from me. I wasn’t concerned with the “MOH duties” besides her being there the day of and she gave a short speech during the reception. All the BMs together planned a shower and bachelorette party. Sounds like yours would be pretty similar if they’re as close as my friends are to my sister. 

Also, I wanted her at my bachelorette party, I asked that if they planned anything they do it with her in mind as well so she could participate. Everything worked out perfectly, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

Post # 5
Member
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

I chose my sister as my MOH and she was only 16 at the time of the wedding. She didn’t plan anything though. My mom helped her “plan” the Bridal Shower and all of my friends (I didn’t have any bridesmaids) just planeed a simple night out to go bar hopping for my Bachelorltte out of the goodness of their hearts. It sounds like you have you great friends who would love to celebrate/plan with you depsite their title!

Post # 7
Member
9388 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

Maid/Matron of Honor usually has the most responsibility, and as a reward also get the better title and the few perks that come with it (like how adults have to pay taxes but can eat ice cream for breakfast…).  That said, you won’t be the first who gives the title and niceties of Maid/Matron of Honor to one person and all the duties to another.

Things to keep in mind:

-it’s considered bad etiquette for a relative to throw a bridal shower

-a 16/17 year old can’t really plan a party they can’t legally attend, assuming alcohol will be involved at your bachelorette party

-only you know how mature your sister is..  ask yourself: is she up to what you want your Maid/Matron of Honor to do? (In my case, my Maid/Matron of Honor is responsible to buy a dress, say a speech, help with my bustle and train and show up… I think most 16 year olds can handle that)

I don’t think it’s necessary to ask your parents unless you think they might be upset with having to buy her bridesmaid dress (since I assume she isn’t financially independent).

Post # 9
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

my maid of honor (my cousin) was 17 and it was no big deal.

Post # 10
Member
421 posts
Helper bee

My sister is 19 now and my maid of honor. I would never expect my maid of honor, regardless of age, to plan any wedding-related events entirely by herself, so don’t worry about yours being 17. She’ll get all the help she needs from your parents, other bridesmaids, etc. throughout the process.

Post # 12
Member
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Waldorf Astoria, Orlando

View original reply
kcoast:  I would pick your sister! Just have realistic expectations about your Bachelorette party and how much she can handle the duty. I would sort of make it clear to the two girlfriends that your sister is Maid/Matron of Honor by default and that you’d appreciate if they all helped out 🙂 No hurt feelings and a larger support network!

Post # 13
Member
2597 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

There’s no age minimum or limit on being a Maid/Matron of Honor. I’ve heard of weddings in which brides have had their young daughters as Maid/Matron of Honor or their 87-year-old grandmothers. If you want your sister to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, then pick her.

The party-planning is really secondary to her showing up and standing next to you at the altar. I think you can enlist your BMs to help your sister, or even your mother. One thing that you do have just be aware of is that your Maid/Matron of Honor should be able to enjoy all the events with the rest of the bridal party, so if you have your heart set on a big Vegas blowout bachelorette party, you might want to table that for a birthday bash or something (and her attending these events wouldn’t change if she were just a Bridesmaid or Best Man anyway). 

 

Post # 14
Member
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
kcoast:  The only thing that I would say is that typically the Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man acted as your two wittnesses for your marriage license.  If your Maid/Matron of Honor is under 18, she can’t do that.  You can easily pick someone else to sign it, but just be aware that you will need to do that. 

Post # 15
Member
4094 posts
Honey bee

It’s an honourary title. You can bestow it on anyone you like.  There are no real rules about the orgnaization of ancillary events. You can organise your own bachelorette party if you like or your other bridesmaids might like to do that or your sister can give it a whirl!

You have the freedom to celebrate your impending nuptials any way you like. Don’t get bogged down in “protocol’ concerns of dubious relevance or value.

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