(Closed) How/if I should tell a friend no speeches w/o hurting feelings

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You don’t necessarily need champagne for the toast and it can be super casual and still work.  That said, if you truly don’t want it, just tell her before she works on it more. 

Post # 4
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Are you sure she means a speech at the reception and she’s not just talking about the ceremony?  If you don’t want her to give a speech at the reception, just tell her, but tell her now before she spends too much time working on it.

Post # 5
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I’d say just talk with her about it candidly. I can see why you don’t want speeches. SO and I will have a bridal party and I STILL don’t want speeches! Only my dad will talk.

Post # 6
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

@serendipity9.8:  Yes, if she’s presiding, she probably means the sermon/homily/speech the officiant usually does as part of the ceremony. Check with her, though.

Post # 7
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

And as the officiant, she CAN make a speech and it shouldn’t affect anything else at the reception…

Post # 9
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Could she do the speech at the rehearsal dinner instead?

Post # 11
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

She sounds like such a supportive, great friend.  Tearing up just talking about giving a speech/best wishes to you…that is so sweet!!  Truthfully, I would just let her do it, but maybe just mention candidly that she shouldn’t have it be long b/c you don’t want to start tearing up or something.  It looks like it means a lot to her and she is doing it with nothing but the most heartfelt intentions, so I would ride it out. 🙂

Post # 13
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Just tell her you’re keeping it more casual and less traditional. My mom thought it was essential that we do a toast, so we did it right after the cake cutting and it took 30 seconds. We didn’t have a bridal party either, and I told everyone from day one that it would be a very small wedding and that we weren’t having any speeches.

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