- 6 years ago
Fiance and I were visiting family (on my dad’s side) for the 4th of July a few days ago. Everything was going well, and we were all getting along great. Well. Maybe I should mention that everyone in my family is either Christian, or ‘pretend’ Christian so as to not offend the rest of the family. I can’t pretend I’m something just to please others; I’m way too strong-willed for that. Fiance and I are both atheists, and content with it. We live in the “buckle of the Bible belt”, as I like to call it, so you can imagine that being an atheist is probably worse than running through a crowded mall naked (hah, teasing, but sometimes it’s difficult). Well, my family gets along well with Fiance, and they all just adore him. We all had a grand time at dinner and talking afterwards, and then said our goodbyes for the evening.
I found out later that night from my younger sister that my cousin and his wife (these are the very in-your-face Christians that believe their personal mission is to ensure that everyone is saved, and knows about God, whether those people want to hear it or not) began asking how things were going with our engagement, wedding plans, etc. Then my cousin asked my mom, “So, how often does Stef go to church? Is she saved? What about James? Does he go to church with her? Is he saved?” Okay. First of all, if you want to know something about my personal life, why don’t you just ask me? My mother is not the person I want representing me; I can do that myself. Secondly, why is it ANY of their business how often Fiance and I go to church, or whether we are saved? If I believed this was just ‘casual’ conversation, I wouldn’t be so miffed. But it’s almost like the question was intentionally avoided when we were there; they were just waiting for us to leave to question us.
If you’ve read any of my recent posts, you know how strained things are with my family and I….because of religion. I just needed to vent…again..because it’s almost like this kind of stuff keeps happening to Fiance and I, and it’s getting on my last nerve. What do I need to do, post on Facebook that I am a proud atheist and whomever doesn’t like it can kiss my ass, and tag my family? Kidding. I wouldn’t do that. But sometimes, I’m tempted to.
Honestly, if my family didn’t have religion to use as leverage against me, they couldn’t find anything to argue with me about. I’m kind, polite, and warm-hearted to everyone. They purposefully bring topics like this up, just to get under my skin. I never bring the subject of christianity/religion/atheism up because I KNOW how the conversation will go, and I KNOW feelings will get hurt. I don’t want that, so I usually keep mum. But every. single. time. we are all together, it gets brought up, somehow. Fiance never talks; he’s way too opinionated and he knows he would end up arguing against them using logic (and, in my opinion, winning) but…it seems like they’re…baiting us, almost. Throwing a line in to see if we bite.
NOPE NOPE NOPE. I won’t argue with them, because they will not listen to my side, so I will not listen to theirs.
Do any of you have family conflict based solely on beliefs? It’s so FRUSTRATING, and I feel so ALONE, since everyone else around me is Christian (or hiding the fact that they’re atheist, probably for the same reasons as myself). I’m just SO grateful for FI; he’s my rock in all of this, because we see eye to eye on everything.
Sorry this was uber-long. I just needed to get it all out.