(Closed) How should you tell your guests about your registry?

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think that is the right thing to do. Put it in your invitation and bridal shower invitation. I am having them both listed on there and it is on our Theknot.com website we created.

Post # 4
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

No don’t put them in the invitation, that’s considered tacky and gift grabby, lol.  The registry information can go on the shower invitation, your wedding website if you have one, and spread through word of mouth.  Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

Traditional etiquette says ABSOLUTELY DO NOT put it in your invites.  I think most people try to abide by that today.  Wedding websites and word of mouth are probably the most proper thing, but do what works for you.  You know the offense level of your social circle better than we do.  If they are moderate to super formal, leave the registry card out.

Post # 7
Member
1777 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Make a wedding website which has your registries and other information on it (accomodations, times, etc.)  and list your website address in your invitation packet.

Post # 8
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m printing a card with the directions to my venue on it to add to the wedding invitations. On the bottom of the card I listed my wedding website address. Then on the website it has registry information. It takes a bit of sleuthing to find my registries, but they’re there!

Post # 9
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’ve always been told NOT to put registry info on invites.  That is either word of mouth, or on the website.  My mom would be (mildy) offended by an invite with the registry.  Just tell your mom, your aunt, whoever, to spread the world to the “old fashioned” relatives.  Other people will check the website or ask your immediate family where you are registered.

Post # 10
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

See, for me, all the weddings I’ve been to (and my mother/grandmother/FMIL) they all expect for that little card to be in the invite and don’t take offense because everyone knows that it is not required to give a gift for a wedding but always appreciated and personally, I love to go shopping for a wedding gift for a couple!  Most people never look at wedding websites, never.  Yes, this day and age people are on the internet a ton but I’ve heard time and time again that the wedding websites were a waste in the end.  I also know that my mother would rather not field a 50 questions from relatives as to where I’m registered when they can just look at the card I gave them.  It all depends on your crowd.  I think it seems like on the east and west coasts it’s typical to not put a card in the invite.  So many people don’t know what’s etiquette anymore because, well, it’s outdated for a lot of stuff and it’s stuffy and who wants stuffy for their wedding?!  Not me.  We didn’t write on the invite where we were registered but a small card was included that I made myself and was not given to me by the stores, those are ugly.  Oh, also, if you aren’t having a bridal shower then it’s also hard to include the registry info that way too–which was my case, no bridal shower per my request.  Plus, in my eyes, how is it different to put a card in that invite but not the wedding?  Silly.

Post # 11
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

I know traditions vary by family and region, but I have to say that I don’t like the little cards. For one thing. even for someone like me who is fairly non-traditional and breaking etiquette right and left, it does say “Hi! You’re invited to my wedding! Now buy me a gift!” For another, I always lose the stupid cards, and wind up asking someone anyway. We are going the website route, but another way I think is ok is to send cards out with your bridal shower invites. Yes, it still sends the gift vibe, but it won’t take away from your wedding invites (which I am sure will be beautiful) and technically it’s your Future Mother-In-Law, MOB, or Maid/Matron of Honor, sending the invites, not you, so it is a little more etiquette friendly.

Post # 12
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Word of mouth and wedding website only.  No inserts in wedding invitation.  It is a little more acceptable on a bridal shower invite – but I still think it isn’t ok even for showers.

Post # 13
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I think what is “normal” depends on your family/friends and their version of the “norm.” In my family the registry info always goes on the Shower Invite… but does not go on the wedding invite. It is on the website though. 

Post # 14
Member
2634 posts
Sugar bee

We’re doing word of mouth only.  If someone specifically asks I’ll tell them where we are registered.

Post # 15
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I agree with the others DO NOT put it in the invites. Spread the word the old fashoned way if people wont look at the website

Post # 16
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011 - The Viceroy

It is considered very bad etiquette to mention anything about gifts anywhere on the wedding invitation–even to say no gifts.  The invite is just that, an invitation to an event, not a request for gifts.  The mention of gifts at all can seem greedy or presumptuous.  While I am all for eschewing traditions, I tend to agree with this one.  I once received a wedding invitation–for a destination wedding in another country–and they included an entire separate card with their 4 registries.  I was offended–I felt like they knew I wouldn’t be able to attend but they still wanted to make sure I got them a gift.  I ended up just sending a card.  A wedding is not about gifts.  And with wedding websites and word of mouth it’s pretty easy to figure out where people are registered.  With a shower I think it’s acceptable to include registry information as that party is about gifts, the idea of “showering” the bride with gifts for the new chapter in her life.

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