Post # 1
Bees, I’m in a tricky place. I want to tell my boss that im pregnant in a couple weeks (after nt scan at 13W) so I can stop feeling so guilty for taking so much time off for appointments in addition to personal time I want to take, but I have a few things that make it more difficult. I’m due in October but I know I’ll be leaving this job at the end of June, Darling Husband is Navy and we’re getting moved in July (even if that date gets pushed I’m still quitting in June).
When I took this job a year and a half ago I was up front with my boss that hubby was military and my time here would be less than two years and he was fine with that, he just wanted me to give him an update when we knew the approximate move date. He was very much a father figure type boss and would have looked out for me if he was still here. Fast forward to now and management has completely turned over in the last year, my current boss started 5 months ago and knows Darling Husband is military but she doesn’t know anything about my timeline, nor does any other management.
i know the question about maternity leave and my plans will come up and I don’t want to flat out lie but Im not sure I want to be totally honest either. There’s been a trend lately of them walking people out as soon as they give notice, even people who have been with the company for 20+ years and give 3 weeks notice, something about being a liability… I’m not in a position with access to much of the info they’re concerned about so I’m not as worried but it’s still an issue.
I’m a receptionist and I would like to be able to train the next girl to take my job because I had that benefit and it made a world of differenc. There’s so much that I take care of that nobody else in the building knows how to do and I know it would be chaos if I didnt get a day or two at least to train someone. I had two weeks with the last girl and it was crucial to my success here. I don’t want to ruin my chances of getting that opportunity and I want to be honest but I think timing and phrasing will be critical, even then it’s a gamble.
how would you handle this situation and what would you say?
*sorry for the typos, doing this from my phone for obvious reasons!
Post # 2
Always, always, always look out for yourself. If your work needed to let you go, they’d do it in a heartbeat. Turn in your two week notice when you’re ready. That is enough of a courtesy.
Post # 3
The end of June is only about 3 months away…can you deal with feeling guilty about appointments and time off until you give your notice? It’s not like you will have to deal with negotiating maternity leave or anything like that in the meantime.
Post # 4
Rafissch: I don’t know why you are combiing the two issues in your head.
You can tell them you are pregnant without any mention of your future plans to resign. If they ask about your maternity leave plans, you can just reply that no decision has yet been finalized.
It’s very nice of you to want to be round to train your replacement, but that is really out of your hands. Whether or not the employer hires a replacement while you are still around is completely up to them.
I wouldnt give notice until you are comfortable being unemployed, whether that is the minimum two weeks, or something more to give them time to hire a replacement.
Post # 5
Don’t worry about training someone. It’s nice of you to want to do that, and if they want you to, then great. Personally I’d give 2 weeks and HOPE they walked me out the door!
Post # 6
I would give my notice when I was ready to leave. Whether or not they keep you around to train your replacement is their problem, not yours. There’s no need to tell them you plan on leaving in June now for whatever reason you may have. Not to be mean, but you’re replaceable, everyone pretty much is… they look out for their own ass, it’s up to you to look out for your own best interest.
Post # 7
I agree with julies1949! I would mention your pregnancy without mentioning your future plans to resign. In June, when you do give your 2 weeks notice, if they decide to keep you around to train the new employee, great! If not, then that is out of your hands.
Post # 8
You are really overthinking this. Give your two weeks. At the end of the day, the company will be just fine whether you train someone or not. Really, they will.
If you’re feeling that guilty, than start compling a training log of sorts detailing everything you want the next applicant to know. And give to your supervisor (after you resign).
Congrats on your new baby.
Post # 9
I just wish I could talk about the whole thing openly with my boss without sticking my head straight in the guillotine…. It seems like everyone is on the chopping block lately and it makes me nervous. I’d be fine financially if I was terminated tomorrow but it’d obviously be nice to have that extra cash in the bank before baby.
i can’t wait till june to tell them about baby, I’m very petite and it’s going to make itself obvious here in a month or two at the most.
I just don’t know how to leave the subject of my future plans off the table without straight up lying…HR is going to want to work on FMLA paperwork and its unecessary work for everyone that Can be avoided if Im very careful
Post # 10
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I understand that you’re trying to make things easier for your company/sucessor, but I would avoid any mention of moving until you give your notice. I don’t see why they’d want your FMLA paperwork done so far in advance- if I read your post correctly, you’d be five months pregnant when you resign? I don’t think mine was done until a month or two before going on leave. I’m not sure the exact dates when my OB filled out the necessary paperwork, but I remember having a big belly- I think it was at least month seven or eight.
If they want to start it so early, oh well, that’s their issue, not yours.
Post # 11
Depends on what state you’re in. If you’re in California like I am then I’d let them walk me out asap and collect unemployment until I qualified for disability.
Post # 12
So wait until it’s obvious in a month or two? I don’t understand the need to announce it straight away at 12 weeks. And I really dont think HR will be starting paper work for a leave over 4 months outs. Or tell your boss when it’s obvious and don’t bother telling HR yet, it’s not like bosses go reporting this stuff to HR.
Post # 13
pinkshoes: where I work they do, but they’re family friendly here. 4 month paid leave.
Post # 14
You don’t have to tell anyone you’re pregnant. It’ll be obvious and you’re not required to mention it. Don’t set up a formal meeting or anything, just tell them casually if you want to! Or tell a coworker and word will spread. But these are two totally separate issues.
I would not give any sort of notice until 2 weeks prior to leaving. It doesn’t matter if you’re pregnant.
Congrats on the pregnancy, and good luck!
Post # 15
karen12: But do they need to start the paper work over 4 months out from the start of your leave…?