- 5 years ago
Regular bee going anon here. Okay bees. I’m really upset and hurt and I can’t tell anyone and talking to SO about it hurts him.
I’ve been with SO for 2 years now. Never been with anyone else. He’s 10 years older than me and has had several relationships.
Now before we did anything I made sure he knew/had been checked recently for any STDs, STIs anything. He’s very health conscious and works as a manager in a hospital so I know he’s on top of his health.
Anyways I have finally been on a reliable birth control that is working well so in February we stopped using condoms because SO hates them. Well in March I get this little skin-tag looking thing.
I’m worried about it but decide to have it checked out when I’m home and done school (I was living LDR from SO and in uni). Anyways, that one skin tag has been there and I’ve cut it shaving etc. I’ve got some other bumps but my skin is SO sensitive and I always cut myself shaving and it hurts and etc. So I always just thought they were razor burn/bumps etc.
Well I had my yearly pap and it turns out they’re genital warts. I was so upset I almost cried in the office. I know they’re common but it doesn’t take away the fact that I felt so betrayed, so hurt, dirty, gross, and out of control. SO has never had warts ever and yet it HAS to be from him – there’s virtually no other way to get them.
So I have had them frozen 2 times now, and have been given cream which hurts so bad I can’t use it. I’m in constant pain and they’re getting worse. The peri-anal ones have a slight white-ish discharge and I’m just over all worried. I have no idea what I’m doing or what to expect or even how long it will take for them to go away. I can’t sit comfortably, walk, run, ride a bike and I refuse to have sex with SO. SO is so upset, he’s crushed. He’s said he wishes he could go back in time to never have met me so I wouldn’t have gotten this.
I try telling him about it but he’s so hurt and upset that it makes him worse. So I just. I don’t know what I need?
I feel like none of this is fair! I was smart and safe and with only one man and it’s not MY fault I have this. And now I could have it for months and I just don’t know what to do.
I’ve never had ANYTHING wrong down there. No yeast infections no nothing. I just, I don’t know what to do! I feel helpless.