Post # 1
Ladies, I need some advice!
I started job searching awhile ago. Considering we have been on this TTC journey for 2.5 years now, I realized there was no point in holding off any longer since I didn’t know when or if I would ever get pregnant… plus, my current workplace has been getting more and more toxic.
To my surprise, I was offered an amazing job this past Friday! But I am also now 6 weeks pregnant.
What do I do? Do I tell them now? Or do I give them a, “oh, btw, I’m pregnant” a month and a half from now?
I haven’t received my official offer letter yet because they are finalizing my compensation plan, but I will be sure to ask about benefits before accepting. (For instance, can I take maternity leave before a year at the company, what my insurance would look like, etc.)
I feel like I can’t turn down this position… but this whole thing has me feeling extremely stressed out. I can’t afford to be out of a job 8 months from now because I am pregnant, but I also know I can’t handle my toxic work environment anymore.
Post # 2
Side note: If I don’t tell them now… how do I ask them about maternity benefits without being obvious?
Post # 3
I would wait as long as possible to tell them.
I would assume they have a handbook or something of the sort that lists their benefits.
Post # 4
tulipdazey : you don’t have to disclose your pregnancy if you don’t want to. Once you have an offer in hand it would be illegal for them to rescind it because they found out you’re pregnant. Telling them now just puts them in a weird spot. This happened to me once – we decided we were hiring a woman and before the letter went out (it was written lol) she said “oh btw I’m pregnant”. My boss started to question if we should still hire her and I shut him down because (1) she was amazing, we were desperate for help, and I didn’t even have a close runner-up and (2) taking it back would be setting us up for a lawsuit (not that I got that vibe from her, but still….I work in law firms let’s not be stupid here, we know better). She actually ended up not coming back after her maternity leave which was a bummer but I got a solid 8 months of amazing work out of her before I was back to the drawing board to find someone else. I told her if she ever decided to enter the workforce again to let me know so I could get a first crack at hiring her back.
You won’t qualify for FMLA, but see if your state has a separate policy. In Massachusetts (where I am) you only need to be employed for 3 months to get 8 weeks of job protection. I know people who have switched jobs early in pregnancy and it works out.
Post # 5
You could also pull an Angela from the office and have a 10 pound “preemie” hahaha
Post # 6
I literally just did this last year. Same situation, I had been job hunting for a while and TTC for a while and the two just happened to happen at the same time.
I waited to tell my boss because I didn’t want to tell her and then have a loss. It was an internal transfer, though, so I already knew maternity leave policies.
Can you ask to see their employee handbook with benefits, policies, etc for review? Then you don’t have to ask specifically about maternity leave? What if they don’t offer a great leave package? Would you not accept the job?
Post # 7
I would wait. You’re only 6 weeks. Most people don’t tell their employers until after the first trimester so you’ve got a good month and a half I think before I’d tell them!
Post # 8
I’d wait to tell them. If anyone gives you grief about it (which they shouldn’t but people can be dicks), you can always say you didn’t even know you were pregnant until after you accepted the position. You’re still early enough that this is believable I think.
Post # 9
Head of HR here. I would accept the new job and not tell them anything yet. You can look at their benefits/maternity policy, but most likely the policy will state you are eligible for FMLA, which doesn’t kick in until after one year of employment (if your employer qualifies for that – 50+ employees usually). However, any decent company will allow you to take leave prior to that (I’ve never heard of anyone who wouldn’t). Most companies will provide a summary of benefits with the offer, but it doesn’t always include maternity and/or other leaves.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t tell them anything until they need to know. Like when you’re going to take leave. I think it’s pretty common for a female from 20-40 to ask about maternity benefits and I don’t think it’s be suspicious at all.
Post # 11
tulipdazey : Honestly, 6 weeks is still early enough to “not know”, lol. Hold off telling them for sure.
For reference this happened to my ex-boss
She accepted a permanent position with the company. Didn’t know she was preg until about month 4, so she would have been about 6 weeks along when she accepted the position.
They didn’t fire her, lol.
Just don’t tell them until you’re about to start showin
CONGRATS ON YOUR BUB!! 2.5 years is a long time!!! Wishing you all the best!!!
Post # 12
If you’re planning to take the job regardless of what maternity leave benefits they offer, don’t tell them. Only tell them if you are planning to negotiate some type of leave and would decline the job if they say no.
Post # 13
You do not need to disclose your pregnancy status at all. Just realize that you may not be eligible for their company benefits since you wouldn’t have worked a year. (note this doesn’t mean you wouldn’t qualify for leave, it just might be unpaid). I interviewed for a job when I didn’t know I was pregnant, a month later after I started I found out I was. But I didn’t say anything until I was sure.
Once you start I would look through the handbook and see if you find anything related to maternity leave so you don’t have to ask them directly
Post # 14
Not an HR bee but I did switch jobs while pregnant (I was 3 months along).
I told them in my interview I was pregnant and they’ve since told me that doing so showed them my character in that I was willing to be honest even if it might have cost me a job and that’s ultimately what set me apart from the other people they were looking at.
You being so early you really don’t have to say anything (I probably wouldn’t have if I were that early) but I just wanted to chime in that pregnancy won’t totally freak out everyone across the board. I was very lucky in that my two bosses are mothers of small children and felt strongly that motherhood shouldn’t hinder your career.
Post # 15
Thank you to everyone for your advice. I definitley think I will hold off telling them about the pregnancy.
The company is sending me over their handbook today (so I am hoping leave would be part of that).
I do also feel grateful beause during my interviews, I spoke with two women (one would be my direct supervisor, the other is someone who is already in the position I am being hired for) and they are both mothers. The person who is to be my direct supervisor told me she took 2 YEARS off after the birth of her last child and they hired her back. The other woman actually had to reschedule our interview one day because her son was home sick… so they do seem to have a very family-friendly/family-forward atmosphere.