Post # 1
I made this private account because I just want to get some outside perspectives. My husband and I already talked about it, but I still feel off.
My husband was taking a nap and wanted me to wake him up in an hour. He also hurt his shoulder a few weeks ago and has been having issues with it. Anyway, I went into the bedroom to wake him up and was about to lean over to kiss him on the cheek when he physically pushed me away. I walked away and he came and apologized and said he just reacted bc he was thought I was going to lean into his shoulder. I just said I was sad and upset that he actually pushed me. He’s never been violent or hostile with me ever. I guess it was more of a self defense mechanism to protect his shoulder? but still I feel on edge and disappointed that he would be so mean and push me. Anyone ever have anything similar happen? Any thoughts on this?
Post # 2
If he has never been aggressive or remotely violent then I would be tempted to take him at his word. Was it a slight ‘don’t come any further’ push or did he forcefully push you out of the way?
Post # 3
I guess the big question is do you believe him? To me it sounds like he really didnt know you were trying to kiss him. I know when i wake my SO up, hes super cranky. Maybe yours was a little out of it, and didnt mean to be so harsh?
If hes never showed any violent behaviour before than I’d let this go. But if you start to see other signs then maybe consider getting some help cause thats not healthy. Good luck
Post # 4
Lol you are insanely overreacting.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2018 - Mount Princeton hot springs
Hmmm. Was he maybe having a bad dream? Sometimes I can be a bit disoriented when waking up from a nap. When my sister was younger she used to regularly push my mom away she was waking her up. Not trying to excuse any abusive behavior but from my limited understanding it doesn’t sound like that’s the case. Even if he wasn’t being intentionally hurtful, you still experienced the event so being a bit upset is totally understandable no matter how it came to happen. I would try not to hold it against him personally.
What was was his reaction when you guys talked about it?
Post # 6
probably somewhere in between those two
Post # 7
How hard of a push was this? I would agree with PP’s if he’s never been violent or aggressive towards you that it probably isn’t a big deal and you’re overreacting.
Post # 8
Ok all – maybe I’m overthinking it. He probably was just disoriented and didn’t want to wake up.
Just wanted to vent about it with other people because I don’t want to tell my real life friends or family and then have them be secretly judgemental towards him.
Post # 9
This isn’t surprising for someone who’s just woken up or is still in the process of waking up.
Post # 10
I would talk to him about it. Let him know how you feel and hopefully he will apologize and that should clear the air. If that was out of character for him I can understand why you’re upset. I’m sure he didn’t mean to be mean to you and was just reacting because of his pain. Talk it out with him, though.
See his side of it, too, and then let it go.
Post # 11
I mean, how hard did he push you?
Post # 12
How hard did he push you? For you to come here and talk about it I assume pretty hard. I’m guessing he was asleep and disoriented and it’s good he apologized once he woke up
Post # 13
Yeah, if he has never been aggressive or violent before I would assume he was both disoriented and protective of his injury. I wouldn’t take it personally or make an issue out of it. In future, I’d probably not try to wake him up with a kiss because you just never know how someone who is sleeping will react in their disoriented and confused state. I know I have accidentally hit my fiance before when he startled me in my sleep!
Post # 14
Lol, one time my husband put his arms around me while I was sleeping and I instinctively (somewhat violently) shoved his arms off of me—in my dream, the hug was unwelcomed and I was defending myself. Hubby was offended at first, until I registered what had happened and I woke up to apologize…and then we both laughed about it.
I’m sure it’s nothing to fret over, he’s apologized and he’s never done it during normal cicrumstances so you can definitely let this go 🙂
Post # 15
How hard was the push? If it was a normal push reaction for this type of thing then I would let it go. If it was a pretty hard push then I would talk to him. I doubt it is anything to worry about, but it may be worth a chat if it is bothering you this much.