Hubby pushed me away today, need advice

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 2
5872 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

If he has never been aggressive or remotely violent then I would be tempted to take him at his word. Was it a slight ‘don’t come any further’ push or did he forcefully push you out of the way?

Post # 3
688 posts
Busy bee

I guess the big question is do you believe him? To me it sounds like he really didnt know you were trying to kiss him.  I know when i wake my SO up, hes super cranky.  Maybe yours was a little out of it, and didnt mean to be so harsh? 

If hes never showed any violent behaviour before than I’d let this go.  But if you start to see other signs then maybe consider getting some help cause thats not healthy.  Good luck 

Post # 4
66 posts
Worker bee

Lol you are insanely overreacting.

Post # 5
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Mount Princeton hot springs

Hmmm. Was he maybe having a bad dream? Sometimes I can be a bit disoriented when waking up from a nap. When my sister was younger she used to regularly push my mom away she was waking her up. Not trying to excuse any abusive behavior but from my limited understanding it doesn’t sound like that’s the case. Even if he wasn’t being intentionally hurtful, you still experienced the event so being a bit upset is totally understandable no matter how it came to happen. I would try not to hold it against him personally. 


What was was his reaction when you guys talked about it?

Post # 7
2737 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

View original reply
undercoverlady :  How hard of a push was this? I would agree with PP’s if he’s never been violent or aggressive towards you that it probably isn’t a big deal and you’re overreacting. 

Post # 9
7466 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

This isn’t surprising for someone who’s just woken up or is still in the process of waking up.

Post # 10
9976 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
undercoverlady :  I would talk to him about it.  Let him know how you feel and hopefully he will apologize and that should clear the air.  If that was out of character for him I can understand why you’re upset.  I’m sure he didn’t mean to be mean to you and was just reacting because of his pain.  Talk it out with him, though. 

See his side of it, too, and then let it go.  

Post # 11
10206 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I mean, how hard did he push you? 

Post # 12
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

How hard did he push you? For you to come here and talk about it I assume pretty hard. I’m guessing he was asleep and disoriented and it’s good he apologized once he woke up

Post # 13
3455 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

Yeah, if he has never been aggressive or violent before I would assume he was both disoriented and protective of his injury. I wouldn’t take it personally or make an issue out of it. In future, I’d probably not try to wake him up with a kiss because you just never know how someone who is sleeping will react in their disoriented and confused state. I know I have accidentally hit my fiance before when he startled me in my sleep!

Post # 14
959 posts
Busy bee

Lol, one time my husband put his arms around me while I was sleeping and I instinctively (somewhat violently) shoved his arms off of me—in my dream, the hug was unwelcomed and I was defending myself. Hubby was offended at first, until I registered what had happened and I woke up to apologize…and then we both laughed about it.

I’m sure it’s nothing to fret over, he’s apologized and he’s never done it during normal cicrumstances so you can definitely let this go 🙂 

Post # 15
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

How hard was the push?  If it was a normal push reaction for this type of thing then I would let it go.  If it was a pretty hard push then I would talk to him.  I doubt it is anything to worry about, but it may be worth a chat if it is bothering you this much. 

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