(Closed) Hubby says I can upgrade!!…

posted 7 years ago in Rings
  • poll:
    Yes upgrade after all he did offer! : (10 votes)
    42 %
    Be happy with what I have . : (14 votes)
    58 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    How long have you been married? Don’t risk hurting him to try and keep up with what others have. Maybe save it for a special anniversary.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3142 posts
    Sugar bee

    How did his offer come about?

    Post # 5
    Member
    35 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I have the same question as Oneeleven…

     

    Also – how big is the center you have now, and is the only reason you want to upgrade is to keep up with his brother’s fiance’s?

    Post # 8
    Member
    3142 posts
    Sugar bee

    I don’t know. If you know in your heart he wanted to really hear that you loved the one you already had?  I would put this off for a couple of years.  Then upgrade.

    I’m not married, or even engaged, so this is my uneducated opinion though *shrugs*

    Post # 9
    Member
    14402 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I dont mean to be mean here or anything, but why does everyone think its ok to upgrade for an anniversary vs any other day if he is ok with it.  An upgrade is going to be an upgrade either way.  If hes bothere by upgrading now, I dont see how later down the road will change things.  Fiance is very proud of the ring he got me and would not want me to upgrade now, later, 5 year, 10 year anniversary… ever.   If he said its ok for you to upgrade now and you want to, then why not?  If you think he reallly doesnt actually want you to but *might* feel better about it in a the future, I might wait a little.  Now if you dont think he will want you to now, or ever, but you still really want to, why bother waiting?  I’d do it now.

    Post # 10
    Member
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I’m basing my answer on the fact that I didn’t know how long you’d been married (a month? 20 years?) and also that you said “hubby said I can upgrade if I want last night, But kind said it like he wanted me to say noo I’m happy with what I got” and mentioned possible insecurity over what his brothers bought for their SOs. Of course you wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings if he JUST bought you the ring, again I didn’t know the details.

    You’ve been married a long time, go for the upgrade! Sharing the circumstances helps when asking people’s opinions. I think time does play a factor in upgrades, always have always will. I think they are something to be earned *shrug* sorry if people don’t like that.

    Post # 11
    Member
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    @pinkshoes: I’m not saying that you can’t upgrade on any day if you and your husband are both cool with it… but I think the reason that people feel like its MORE okay on an anniversary is because it attaches more symbolism to the new ring. Like: Aw…. this is the stone/ring my husband got for me on our 10th anniversary to symbolize a new decade of our marriage (or something) vs. Aw… this is the stone/ring my husband got for me last Tuesday because I didn’t like my first ring/stone. 

    It just seems better when its for a REASON other than the first one wasn’t good enough.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3142 posts
    Sugar bee

    @CorgiTales:

    I agree.

    Plus I was thinking that there is more time to prepare financially for it (if financially speaking, it is even an issue)

    Post # 13
    Member
    14402 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @CorgiTales: hmm.. ok, I’ll buy that..  If he knows she doesnt like it now, and manages to wait just to be able to say that, they are only “fooling” other people, and they both know that she was never really happy with it.  It should just be between them and not what anyone else thinks or what they can tell people about why she has a new ring.  But I can see why that makes some sense though.

    Post # 14
    Member
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    @pinkshoes: yea i mean as long as a couple is cool with it, thats all that matters. But for me personally? I kinda like the “story” of things. If I wanted an upgrade some day (which I kinda doubt but lets pretend) I feel like I’d want to wait to have the good story to go along with it 🙂

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