Post # 1
Hi everyone. I hope you don’t mind me coming on here to vent :-/
My Fiance and I went to buy our wedding rings today… exciting, yes? well not as far as he is concerned. In fact he wasn’t interested in looking around, so we bought the first ones we laid eyes on.
It’s not just today, when we went to discuss our ceremony with the registrar, he was so distanced, that she told him he looked bored!
I have planned everything. He has given zero input.
He says he loves me and that he DOES want to marry me, but sometimes I wonder….. anyone empathise?
Post # 3
Guys are generally not interested in weddings. Some men are just like that. However, in your situation, I’d be a little put off if even the registrar noticed he was bored. I would find that borderline rude if you went and he just didn’t even pay attention or showed no interest. I would have a conversation with him and tell him how you feel.
Post # 4
My Fiance has not been very involved in wedding planning… as in I was shocked when he was able to tell a friend that we are having a chocolate/vanilla marble cake! Really, he’s out of it. I was really annoyed originally, but then we talked and talked again and again over the months. He’s been really clear from the start he didn’t want a wedding, he doesn’t want to be in the spotlight– it’s not his thing. He’s doing this for me, because he knows it’s important to me. I think it’s really sweet that they would be willing to do so much just for us. That’s kind of nice too. Also he has said over and over, he’s in it for the marriage… he’s excited for the day after the wedding. Talk to your Fiance, there’s a big chance the wedding is just not his thing but that marriage is really exciting to him.
Knowing my Fiance wouldn’t love any wedding– I just recruited other help and tried to please the other family members, in our case, they are plentiful and pushy. But if you can, just plan it for you.
Post # 5
Weddings are heavily slanted towards women. Sure, many men do get excited and interested and occasionally you’ll hear of a groom MORE invested than the bride. But it’s really not surprising or some big gigantic problem if he doesn’t really care much about the wedding. I’d be far more concerned about how he feels about the marriage ahead vs. the party.
Post # 6
This is not an uncommon thing at all. Every meeting we’ve been to, every question I’ve asked him, everything I’ve suggested with regards to our wedding, his response has been “whatever you want”. It’s not that he doesn’t care about the wedding, he just doesn’t care about the details. At the end of the day, we’ll be married, and that’s really all that matters to him. What we wear, what we eat, what is said during the ceremony… it’s all inconsequential to him. The only thing that matters to him is that I’ll be his wife, and that I’m happy.
Don’t worry about it too much, unless it becomes a case of him not caring about you. Otherwise, enjoy getting to have your wedding exactly the way you want. And if you need him to help with something, be specific and direct in asking for his help. Otherwise, go nuts!
Post # 7
Yeah mine isn’t that interested in it either. I run things by him but he basically will be like ‘whatever you want is fine.’ I will say, he does listen to me when I go on and on about things and can recall some of the details later. So that’s nice. It makes me feel like I’m not talking to myself all the time like a crazy person 🙂
But I can tell he’s excited about our wedding/marriage overall when he talks to family and friends. I just think he’s not so interested in the planning or whether or not we have chair covers!
Post # 8
If he’s not into throwing a big party, that’s not a problem. You can take care of the party planning without worrying about compromising, after all 🙂 He’s still excited about being with you, right? That’s the important thing.
Post # 9
thanks for your feedback, a part of me thinks that because he doesn’t want to know about the wedding (he’s had enough of me talking about it!), then he isn’t all that bothered abou marrying me… but maybe I am over reacting. Can’t he indulge me once in a while though! haha. I know he loves me, but not once has he said anything along the lines of ‘Im looking forward to you being my wife’ (nothing) it’s just a bit dis-heartening, Perhaps because the wedding is so close now, I just feel disappointed
Post # 10
My Fiance is not very involved; weddings are mainly “a girl thing”. If he had it his way, we would have a bunch of kegs and wouldn’t even bother with a ceremony, centerpieces, decor. As long as people had some ribs and beers, he would he happy.
Post # 11
My Fiance is definitely involved, but to be fair most of the fine “details” are being handled by our venue. There’s really no talk of decor, favors, decorating, lighting or anything he wouldn’t really be interested in. Food, limos, djs, officient, all of that stuff he’s been very helpful with.
Post # 12
Just bring him to the food tastings! He will love that guaranteed. At least It’s easy than dealing with a groomzilla 🙂
Post # 13
@smallstuff: He’s a guy. This is pretty typical. I can understand how it would bug you since you’re so excited about stuff and want to share in the excitement with him, but weddings bore most guys. Hell, I’d hate to have to plan a wedding and I’m a girly girl.
Post # 14
@smallstuff: OK, my honest reaction is that you’re a bit sensitive around the wedding topic. BUT if you’re not hearing how much he loves you and that he is excited to be married, I can see why you’re sensitive. Leaving the wedding off the table (i.e. no mentioning it or the planning), could you tell him that you’re feeling overwhelmed and just need some extra lovin’ right now? Perhaps even be more specific, like could you remind me why you wanted to marry me? What do you think?
I will say, our wedding is a few weeks away and based on my posts I think it is clear we are both a bit twitchy! Guys sometimes cool off on the romance front pre-wedding (or so I’m told) and it’s normal.