Post # 1
Regular bee going anon because this is rather petty and embarrassing.
Darling Husband is very outdoorsy, and I’m just… not. In fact, I admit I can be quite high maintenance. Before he met me, Darling Husband would go on hiking and camping trips a few times a year. Him and his buddies would go off into the mountains for a few days, hiking and camping in the middle of nowhere. He loved it!
But since he met me, he has moved, changed jobs and various other matters have meant he hasn’t gone on these trips. We were talking about where to travel to next and he mentioned he’d love to go to New Zealand to hike in the beautiful scenery. I mentioned to him that I would rather go to Australia as I find it more appealing (Meaning, I don’t like the idea of hiking or camping!). He was clearly disappointed but said he’s happy to do what I want.
He has an extremely altruistic personality and is so kind and sweet, that is one of the reasons I was attracted to him. He would go along with my decision. But I feel a bit mean to deny him this experience when he’d love it so much. I’ve talked to him about going camping on his own but he said he doesn’t want to go if I can’t come :S To be honest, ive never actually been hiking or camping before because ive always blanched at the idea of it. How can I do my hair or makeup?
Plus, don’t kill me Kiwis, but I’ve always thought of New Zealand as rather dull. Is it worth a visit or is Australia more fun? There seems to be more to do there (non-hiking-wise) which is why I’d prefer it.
Bees, I need your advice. Should I go hiking to make my husband happy or just do what I want and visit Australia, disappointing him?
Post # 2
If you’ve never even gone hiking before I’d suggest at least giving it a try. You never know! But I wouldn’t plan a whole vacation around hiking. There is a lot of other stuff to do in New Zealand. Is there any way you could do both? Like spend some time in Australia and then go to New Zealand? Or agree to New Zealand but only hike a little bit and NOT go camping? I love camping but it certainly isn’t for everyone.
Also, I have a few friends that have been to both New Zealand and Australia. All of them preferred New Zealand. Just throwing that out there.
Post # 3
I have no urge to go to either… my fiance already has though and my friends all seem obsessed with the place (maybe the LOTR link and I HATE LOTR lol)
Post # 4
Just saying….. I’m a kiwi and have never once gone hiking…. or skiing…. we have shopping malls , great restaurants, bars, cafes and quirky cities . The best thing is that all this is set in amongst magnificent scenery. You get EVERYTHING! Aussie is a hop skip and jump away so why dont you do both?
Post # 5
There’s a lot more to New Zealand than just hiking, and, in fact, a great deal of Australia is best suited for hiking and not much more. The great thing about travel is that it forces us to open our minds.
Post # 6
Seriously? You’re willing to deny this man you love an experience like that cause you’re worried about your hair and make up?? I vote suck it up and enjoy it. NZ is lovely. Actually, “camping” there is pretty nice, they have a ton of camp grounds that have full kitchens and bathrooms with power.. or hook ups for camper vans. Maybe a camper van would be a nice compromise? And you guys can just do day hikes, and not really rough it with multi day hikes.
But actually, if he wants amazing scenery, I’d say check out Iceland. We’ve been to both and Iceland totally blew us away.
Post # 7
Um. Have you like, googled New Zealand? It’s freaking gorgeous and there’s so much more to do than hiking.
Expand your horizons.
Post # 8
Actually, I would suggest hitting both. Why not half your trip in Australia and half your trip in NZ? Hit the hiking outdoorsy bit first, so you have your other plans that appeal to you to look forward to after.
My Darling Husband and I have different ideas for travelling too. I enjoy Europe and asia, and could go back several times a year if finances permitted it. Darling Husband likes all inclusive beach vacations, and I hate the sun. I feel like I am wasting time sitting around when I could be seeing cultural sites and learning about history.
So, to compromise we trade off. Darling Husband can be a foodie and loves trying new/weird food. When I planned a trip to Europe, I made sure to plan food and beer experiences in with everything else. When we went to Jamaica after that, he was totally fine leaving the resort a couple times to go and explore with me. We make your trips work for both of us, because neither of us wanted to be miserable for the entire duration. And what happened? Darling Husband loved the places we went in Europe, and I loved Jamaica (much to my surprise!), and we would both go back to both place. Win win for sure!
ETA: I voted for go somewhere else, only because there wasn’t an option for both (but I actually mean both)
Post # 9
Can you guys compromise? A little hiking, but stay in a hotel and a few days dedicated to activities that don’t include hiking?
Post # 10
I think it depends on the time of year yu are going away (NZ gets cold!) and how long you are going to spend away on holidays. I live in Australia and there is plenty to do here outdoor wise, but I have also been to NZ and it is gorgeous! We travelled around the south island for a week which was a decent amount of time. If you are happy to rent a car and drive, see if you could squeeze a week for NZ into your plans. That said, if it was for only 2 weeks, I would stick to Australia. I mean you can hike in the Blue Mountains to the west of Sydney, swim in the great barrier reef etc.
Post # 11
1.) I lived in New Zealand for all of 2005. It’s the opposite of dull. It’s breathtakingly gorgeous and serene and the people are amazing.
2.) I hope for your own happiness and for that of your husband, you are working on finding enough internal self-love that you can eventually move past the need to do your makeup and hair to feel good enough.
I have terrible skin and am incredibly self-conscious about it, but it would be so sad to let that fact keep me from going on outdoors adventures with my SO. If he doesn’t love me when my face is splotchy and shiny from no makeup, then I don’t need him.
3.) New Zealand isn’t ONLY unfettered wilderness. You guys could stay in Hanmer Springs in a hotel and visit the springs and go on day hikes. You could rent a cabin in Abel Tasman, take a speedboat ferry about a 2-day’s hike out, then start back, stay the night at your rented cabin, and get back to Kaiteriteri by the end of the second day. There are LOTS and LOTS of options in New Zealand that would accomodate the outdoors he seems to need, and the comfort you seem to want/need.
Post # 12
northbynorthwest : Does he have friends to go with?
Post # 13
topeonyornottopeony : This!
I find it sweet that you both want to make each other happy. Reminds me a tiny bit of the gift of the magi story. I say mix the hiking in with a few days of city life. Who knows ? Even though you love the comforts of home/a hotel, you may relish a change of pace and a chance to see another side of your husband.
Post # 14
northbynorthwest : First look up glamping which is glam camping for people who don’t like the regular camping. That could be the perfect compromise.
Also, think of out this way, hiking is simply walking. You don’t have to do the hiking where you carry your things with you to sleep on. That takes training too.
You could also try a few nights camping and finish up the trip in a resort? Best of both?
Post # 15
GO TO NZ! We spent 30 days there for our honeymoon and it was Amazhing! I like the outdors but Darling Husband cannot hike at all (old foot injury). There is so so so much more to do. Glow worm caves (seriously one of the most incredibly things I’ve ever experienced), awesome food and awesome wine at the numerous vineyards. Gorgeous scenery and beaches, thriving metro areas, etc etc and the people are so friendly!