Post # 1
UGH. So long story short, I’m eloping in Sweden where me and my fiance live. I’m American though with a large family back in the US so we’re having a little “we’re married yay!” celebration at a nice restaurant. I’m keeping the invite list under 50 as the courtyard it will be held in is small and I want to offer unlimited, open bar.
My family is big which means alot of kids. We haven’t sent out invitations yet (I literally just got engaged a week ago haha) but we have the place booked for this summer and it’s gotten around to the family that it will be 18+ only. This will cut the bill in half and keep it the vibe we want.
Now, I have a cousin, lets call her Jane. Jane has two MONSTERS for kids. They’re 13 and 8 but you would think they were both under 5. They scream, they fight, they throw food. They have to be the center of attention at all times and will do anything in their power to keep it that way. The 18+ rule is honestly mainly to keep them away. But 12 other kids will be excluded and the parents are very understanding and don’t seem to mind.
Well this morning I woke up to a nasty text from my cousin saying that she is appalled I wouldn’t allow kids to “be apart of the celebration” and that she didn’t realized “how much you hated kids”. I wrote back a nice response to say that it is meant to be a more formal affair and we wanted to have it be a nice night out for the parents. She lives 5 minutes from the venue…a babysitter wouldn’t be hard to find.
All weddings in my family are childfree so I don’t understand her annoyance at this. She boycotted the last wedding we had in the family for the same reason. I’m floored she would react the same way!
Anyways, I just needed to get that off my chest. I thought we were being reasonable in having a fun little party and keeping it close to home (no one from my family will need to travel more than 20 min). But I guess we can’t please everyone. I’m sticking to our no kids rule, and they can choose to boycott this if they want as well. Anyone else having similar problems?
Post # 2
No kids is nothing strange for weddings. If she wants to boycott, then so be it. You’ve done nothing wrong or offensive or whatever.
Post # 3
It sounds like it will be much more enjoyable if she boycotts it…there’s probably a reason her kids turned out to be monsters!!
Post # 4
Let her boycott–it sounds like a win-win to me! You have the celebration you want and she gets to spend the evening with her children.
If she’s having a tantrum because you’re not planning your event according to her wishes it’s easy to see where her children get their behavior.
Post # 5
I definitely wouldn’t change a thing. She doesn’t sound any better than the kids. I do find it weird that you’re surprised at her reaction though, if you knew she’s boycotted before. Unlikely she’d change her mind between weddings.
Post # 6
Sorry she’s reacting so negatively. Maybe this means she’ll boycott your wedding. Fingers crossed! You don’t need that type of negativity at your wedding.
Post # 8
Well her kids are a product of her so I’m not surprised she is acting like a child as well, her kids had to learn it from someone. Ignore her.
Post # 9
Pffft. Sounds like cousin waaayyy overestimates the value of her presence.
Post # 10
Sounds like you dodged a bullet with this one! Let her throw her temper tantrum and stay home with the children.
Post # 11
“She boycotted the last wedding we had in the family for the same reason. I’m floored she would react the same way!
” Why are you floored? The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Following this pattern, she’ll probably boycot your wedding which sounds fine. If she texts you again (or messages, whatever) just don’t respond. It’s not going to change her mind so it’s wasted energy.
Post # 12
I don’t know why you are surprised if she’s reacted the same way to no-kids weddings in the past. But it really sounds like things will be more fun without her anyway.
Post # 13
It sounds like you’ve got a really good attitude about it all – and your family aren’t turning around to guilt trip you to appease her. Sounds like a win all round to me!
Post # 14
I’d stand your ground. She sounds like someone who thinks the world should revolve around her children. I don’t have kids yet, but I always find it so weird that people think strangers (or distant family members) should love their kids as much as they do. I hope when I have a kid I understand that it’s only me and DH that are obsessed with him/her and not the entire friggin world. They want to be the center of attention because that’s what she allows. Sounds like you dodged a bullet with her not coming!
Post # 15
Sometimes the trash takes itself out. Good on you!