(Closed) Huge blow up about wedding planning!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Many people do Wedding Wednesday, where they pick one day of the week to do all the wedding talk so that they keep it out of the rest of everyday life.  Would that work for you?  You don’t want your guy to have wedding fatigue already… It’s too soon!

Post # 4
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

We actually haven’t had that fight.. he’s relieved that if I’m so into it, he doesn’t have to be. 😉 But anything he *does* decide to get involved in with the planning, we fight over!

Post # 5
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

My Fiance knows better than to complain about internet usage for wedding planning because he’s an internet wh*re. He really is. A few months ago when he was planning on getting a truck he would spend night after night looking and “researching” trucks. It went on for weeks. Before that it was his saltwater fish tank forums. Currently he just bought a revolver so he joined a new forum and that’s all he does now. He has to customize it and get a special case for it and blah blah blah.

A couple times I’ve gotten so fed up with his lack of interest in the planning and I’m just so tired of doing it all myself so I’ve said things like “I give up planning/doing anything else with the wedding planning!” But then the next day I have to get over it and finish up my projects.

Post # 6
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

YES – we HAVE had this argument/discussion. But he apologized really quickly when he realized HOW MUCH WORK and EFFORT I was putting into planning this day (HE was the one who wanted a wedding locally..I wanted a tiny destination wedding).

Post # 7
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Awww sorry to hear about your argument.  I’m very lucky Fiance is very involved with wedding planning and he thinks it’s actually very cute that I found a community like WB.  I know it’s at times it’s difficult to get out of the wedding planning mode but I think we should all be careful as many around us do not share the same zest for planning. 

You have quite a bit of time between now and your wedding.  Try and change up conversations every now and then…imagine what he maybe like in a few months if he feels contantly bombarded with wedding planning.  I guess some guys are just not into it.

Post # 8
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Mine is perfectly fine with my internet use as long as the house stays clean and the kids are fed! (I am currently Stay-At-Home Mom due to lay off) Luckily I read early on that men can really get annoyed with wedding planning. So usually if I am deciding something I give him 2 or 3 options to choose from and try to keep it simple. I also try to only focus on one topic of the wedding per day with him. If I am asking about flowers, I only ask about flowers.. not flowers and shoes and meal cards..

I also make sure that I don’t talk about it nonstop with him. I have days where I promise myself not to mention the wedding at all unless he brings it up. And believe me, that is HARD. I will sit there with my mind racing with 1,000 questions I want to ask him, but I stop myself! We have plenty of time for each question to come out.



Post # 9
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

My Fiance (now husband) made a comment that he felt like I was putting too much time into the wedding, and that I was making it harder than it had to be.  He had a point — I’d gotten pretty stressed out over details and taking a step back was a really good thing. 

But I also pointed out that he’d spent an entire week comparing flat screen TVs in different online stores when we decided to buy one, and that I didn’t think it was so crazy to want to spend a day or so looking at photography websites and comparing different photographers’ packages and prices.  He hadn’t looked at wedding planning as as “comparison shopping” or “research,” even though that’s what it was, and putting it like that helped him understand what I was trying to do!

Post # 10
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

lmao. this has happened to me and i have toned it down a little bit. glad i’m not alone! :] it’s a girl thing..

Post # 11
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Yes it got to a point where Fiance would roll his eyes when I mentioned the wedding in any way shape or form.  He told me he was sick of seeing bridal magazines all over the house.   I have been warned by married friends that men freak out when their girlfriends morf into wedding obsessed fiancees.

So I have toned down the wedding talk with him unless his input is crucial.  We are still behind schedule a bit on the planning, but I am being patient. I just talk wedding with my mom, friends who want to know, and Wedding Bee.   I try to be the girl he proposed to, and spend time sharing activities and talking about the things we used to prior to the engagement.   I think men get a little frightened that you will change from the girl they proposed to when you get married, so I try to be the old me as much as possible.

Since I planned most of the wedding alone, I made Fiance plan the rehearsal dinner and now he realizes how much is involved in the planning and all the little details.

Post # 12
1205 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s pretty easy for <span style=”text-decoration: underline;”>anyone to think that there’s less involved with planning than they see.  Some people are just oblivious, some have never planned, etc.  For most men, they just don’t see the need for all of the detail (and planning), so they get sick of it if they see it as unnecessary.  I’ve seen this happen with parents of the bride or groom, or others involved in “helping” 

With Fiance, it’s harder because this thing “WEDDING” consumes your time and it’s not going to him.  They can be like kids, I swear.

Hang in there!

Post # 13
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I know how you feel.  We’ve been fighting about the wedding too.  Mostly it’s been that he wanted the wedding, I wanted to elope, he works all the time (not his choice), so I am stuck with almost all of it.  He does help when he can, but I hate doing it, my family has been nothing but problems, and so I have been complaining to him a lot, and now he’s tired of me complaining.  I can’t wait until it’s over!!!!!!!

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