(Closed) HUGE bridal party issue! 10 BM, 2 GM-HELP!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Have you asked them yet?  Because if you have then I think you’re pretty much stuck with 10.  Unless you decide to do a fmily only and if you have a sister or he has a sister use only them.

Post # 5
Member
4360 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I think in this instance even though you have asked the two “not so sure” girls tell them that you had planned on having a big bridal party but you’ve now had to cut it.  Tell them that your very sad about it but hoped they wouldn’t mind.  Then perhaps decide to have only a Maid/Matron of Honor (is there a “best friend” or sister or cousin?) I think this allows for less hurt feelings rather that “why did she choose those three and not me?”  Having one each means its very clear to your friends that you’ve had to make sacrifices.

Something a friend of mine did was to ask her sister to be Maid/Matron of Honor and not have any bridesmaids but then to asked her closest pals to wear the same colour.  They didn’t stand up with her or walk down the aisle but it made the girls feel like they were included.  Could you do this?

Post # 6
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee

I’d also suggest going down to maybe only a Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man, then hopefully you can spare hurt feelings by telling your girls that you always thought you would have a big bridal party but once you got more into planning you decided that a small bridal party better fit your vision.

I also really like ladyartichoke’s suggestion of asking them to wear the same colour as guests so that they still feel part of the mix.

Post # 7
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Maybe not have a wedding party? I know that is probably not how you imagined your wedding growing up, but it may be the only way to spare feelings.

Post # 8
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

It sounds like the easiest thing is just not to have a bridal party.  Would your friends really be upset if you explained that your Fiance only has 1 or 2 people, and you don’t want to make cuts among your 10 nearest and dearest?  Honestly I can’t even imagine trying to coordinate dresses, etc. with 10 bridesmaids.  If you want your bffs to be with you on the day I would invite them to have some champagne with you while you are getting ready, or something like that?

Post # 9
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You could always cut down the party, but ask the other ladies to still be with you on the day- getting ready together and spending time with them before the ceremony/reception so they still feel included.

Post # 10
Member
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i had a similar issue. i had six BMs and my husband had 2 GMs.  in the end, i decided it didn’t matter and just went with it.  for pictures though, to balance out a bit more, i included my Usher in the pictures with the guys – the  Usher was one of my good friends anyway and if i needed more people on my side (which i did not), i would have asked him to be a bridesman.  and so i was happy to have him in my wedding pics.

Post # 11
Member
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@missrobots:  looking back i sometimes think i also should have had no bridal party, also because my wedding itself was so small. but i know i would have regretted it. i always dreamed of my BMs being there with me in their purple dresses!  so i would not advise going this route.

i think unbalanced is fine. its not about the numbers, its about the people!

Post # 14
Member
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@stardreamer:  When i was still stressing about this, someone gave me the idea to have BMs sit and not stand as well and when i approached my BMs with the idea, they didn;t take it too well, their reaction was more like “well we are not BMs then!”  I was actually mostly worried about having more people standing up than in the audience, which in the end, i didn’t care about.

As for my pics, i used to have them up, but took them down, lol. i will upload a few for now so you can see.  what i didn’t mention above is that since i had my wedding in Jamaica, it ended up being that two of my BMs couldn’t come and one Groomsmen couldn’t come, so we were still unbalanced with 4 – 1.  but for our celebration back home, we did pictures with everyone. the group shots i liked best (both in Jamaica and at home) are when we were not standing in a straight line, but gathered around in some other position.  

here are my fave bridal pics from Jamaica:

 

and here is our group one from our at home celebration (6 BMs, 2 GMs, 1 Usher, 1 flower girl, and 1 flower baby!) – massive Bridal Party for a tiny wedding, lol.  i love it though.

 

 

and last this is what our ceremony looked like:

Post # 15
Member
46606 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It is not necessary to include every “friend” in your wedding party. Good for you for having so many friends. You are obviously a person that other people want to spend time with. Some of them could watch your wedding as a guest.

The only way I see cutting the girls you have already asked, is if you explain to them that your Fiance only has 2 friends able to stand up for him and would they mind terribly if you asked them to attend as guests. Then pick the two nearest and dearest to be in your wedding party.

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