- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
So I have been dealing with a very overbearing, nosy, imposing, controlling future step-MIL. She used to be the sweetest lady — until we got engaged. Since then, she’s become my worst nightmare. Last night was my FI’s 30th birthday dinner and we were going out with a huge group of friends. So this is what happened:
Basically I gave up “recreational shopping” for Lent. But then I got a new job, and I needed dressier clothes, so Fiance and I decided I could buy a new wardrobe. Well last night I was wearing a new blazer and the tags were still on and she says “I thought she gave up shopping for Lent. Let’s ask her when she bought that jacket” (talking to his mom and 12 other people who were at our house) and I, in my rushing around getting ready said “oh yeah I got it today” and she said something like “yeah uhhuh” and it just pissed me off. In front of everyone! Seriously?! Who the heck does she think she is?? She doesn’t know we agreed I could buy new work clothes, but frankly it isn’t her business!
So we get to the restaurant and she decides to re-tell this story to his best man’s wife, who wasn’t at our house for the earlier “discussion” and I can hear her behind me saying “and she told us she gave up shopping for Lent, but we get to the house tonight and she’s wearing a brand new blazer with the tags still attached!” and I flipped. I turned around and told her it was our money to do what we wanted, and I bought it for work, and she had no right talking about it or bringing it up. She was completely taken aback that I dared to put her in her place, but it had to be done. Everyone there, including my FI’s actual mother, was on my side. But she refused to apologize to me! She actually said “I was just kidding, but you weren’t supposed to hear what I was saying to her!” but refused to apologize to me ever when I told her that her comment made me really upset. Instead, her and his father went and sat in the corner and pouted for 2 hours.
When they left after dinner, I — trying to be the bigger person — gave them a hug good bye and still apologized because I realized it wasn’t the best time or place for the whole thing to happen, and she just said “yeah ok well good night”….. SERIOUSLY LADY?!?
So now I don’t know what to do. She owes me an apology. I refuse to back down because if I do, she’ll continue to behave like this for the rest of my life. At this point, Fiance and I are probably not having kids because of her and her controlling, manipulative behavior and that makes me sad. She just doesn’t know her place.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading! I just needed a place to vent.