(Closed) Huge life decision… and I don't know what to do :(

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Go for it and move. You can always move back if you don’t like your new life in Edmonton, but another good opportunity might not pop up if you stay where you are.

Post # 4
683 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I say go. Like fishbone said another opportunity may not come up. Get your parents/family a webcam and teach them how to use Skype. 

Post # 5
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I say do it.  I’m SOOOOO close to my parents…especially my mom. Like, I’m so close to my mom that if I don’t see her once a week, I’m in a serious funk. She’s my best friend.

That being said, I think you are in the perfect life position to move. No move is ever permanent. Just be sure to set up a visit before you move, and get Skype.

Post # 6
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It does sound like a good opportunity, but with every opportunity at the end of the day it is what you make of it. If you move and don’t put yourself out there in your new life to make friends and make a life there for yourself, than yes, you find yourself incredibly homesick. My advice is that if you do decide to make this move, go into it with trying to maintain a positive attitude. Change is hard, but it makes us grow and much of the time we are better off for it. You may finally get the break you need in your career, make wonderful friends, learn something you never would have back home, and your husband may be in a better position to find the job he wants back in Ottawa if and when you do decide to return (after all, the move can always be undone if it really doesn’t work out). Maybe with your new job you’ll be able to work less, leaving more time for learning a second language in case you need it for the future….

With that in mind, I would also budget a trip back home within the first six months of the move, and make sure you have a “going home fund” you two save for so you can go home at least a couple of times a year. 

Post # 7
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yep I did it and it turned out fine.  I’m super close to my parents too and never lived more than 5 miles from them.  I moved 12 hours away with Darling Husband for his law school scholarship.  We’re still really close and I talk to them all the time.  It hard for a month or two before you find good friends but it gets better.  It was nice for me to find out I don’t need to be within 5 feet of my parents and friends to be fine.  I learned a lot about myself.  Like I said, I’m still just as close to my parents as I was, but I don’t feel as dependent on them.

Post # 8
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I moved from Brampton to Thunder Bay, which isn’t out of province, but might as well have been! I missed my family like crazy, but seeing them made it that much more special (I saw them 2-3 times a year). On top of that, I learned so many more skills and made a ton of new friends and had opportunities I couldn’t have had in the GTA (ice climbing, ice fishing, saunas! It was awesome!).

I’d go.

Worse comes to worse, you can always come back.

Post # 9
46672 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

One of the tasks of growing up is separating ourselves from our parents. I would encourage you to priorize  your relationship with your husband. As you are mainly working in a service job, not the career for which you were educated, and you have said that the move to Edmonton would be a good thing for his career , I don’t think the move would  be of any harm to yours.

If you choose to look positively on the move, it could be good for you too.

One thing I quickly learned when my ex used to get transferred every year, was that there are nice people everywhere. You will make good friends if you choose to. Or, you can sit at home and feel sorry for yourself.

You can always keep in touch with your Mom by phone, text and Skype.

Post # 10
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

Go for it!!  Change is always scary, but your circumstances will never get better unless you go out and try something new.  It sounds like this is such a great opportunity for your husband, and it could be a great chance for you to look for a job more applicable to your experience!

Post # 11
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I know it looks impossible now, but do it!

I did a similar route and I’m still as close as ever  with my mom and it makes the time we do see each other all the more fun and special!

Post # 12
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Definitely go for it!  I have to say, moving far away from everyone I knew (family and friends) was the best thing I ever did.  

Post # 13
986 posts
Busy bee

Definitely do it! Like PPs said, moves don’t have to be permanent BUT opportunities like this don’t come around every day. Use Skype, call often, schedule visits – you can still see and love them without living close by! 🙂

Post # 14
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I say go for it !! I am VERY close with my mom too. But if you don’t like it you could always change it. You don’t know if you don’t try and I mean hell who doesn’t want more money. Good luck with the position and your decision.

Post # 15
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I say stay. I don’t think any job is worth moving if you have to leave your family and friends behind. How are your finances? Could you go to school and learn the other language?

We made the same choice years ago, and it is really hard. We do have better job opportunites here but it is not worth missing all the little moments with my family and friends. Not at all.

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