(Closed) HUGE RANT! Bridesmaid who does not want to be there for the bride??

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think you are being a little harsh on your Bridesmaid or Best Man. I understand your stress over the venue and DJ deal but your Bridesmaid or Best Man had nothing to do with that nor should she have to care about that. Yes, a listening ear to vent/complain would be nice, but you’ve admitted she’s not that type of person. She also told you she had her own problems right now and cannot financially afford to spend over $200 for YOUR wedding which is 9months away. My sister is the same way with her phone, i know its attached to her ear, but she rarely will text me back. She probably figured she didn’t want to get told what she should be doing or may be embaressed to not being able to afford it. Also, a good old fashioned actual phone all could have helped this situation. No one will care as much about YOUR wedding as much as YOU will. You said, you don’t complain “as much as other brides” we’re not all bridezillas here. Sorry if I sound harsh, just the harsh reality of weddings.

Post # 5
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I totally agree with you that she probably doesn’t need to be your Bridesmaid or Best Man. When you are a Bridesmaid or Best Man you make a commitment and like you said, at least be considerate of the bride and helping in anyways you can (not obligated, but if they are your friend it shouldn’t feel like an obligation to them). Glad to hear the DJ and venue worked out for you. Good luck with your Bridesmaid or Best Man, I took the “easy” route and am only having my BFF as Maid/Matron of Honor (upsetting sister in the process).

Post # 6
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I also think you are being a little harsh on her. I don’t know, but it seems like she could be embarrassed that she can’t afford the dress at the moment – a lot of people get stressed and embarrassed having to admit to friends that they are short of cash so this may be way she was avoiding your texts and financial matters can be personal to some people. This is why I chose to pay for everything for my BM’s as one is a uni student and the other a single mother of 5 – I could never justify asking them to pay for stuff for my wedding when they have more important things to think about.  Being a Bridesmaid or Best Man isn’t a ‘job’, they really have no obligation other than showing up on the day. It’s nice for them to be there for you on the lead up and I know this is what you were hoping for but it isn’t a requirement for being a Bridesmaid or Best Man. You have plenty of time until your wedding – I’m sure they will come through and be there for you as it gets closer. I’m not meaning to sound mean – it’s just my opinion. I am sorry you have had such a hard time with your vendors!

Post # 7
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

OMG we have the same situation! one of my bridesmaids kept ignoring me for weeks!! and she is out of town which means that I couldn’t just go to her house and asked her why she was ignoring me! It was so annoying. and she said the same thing to me: “your wedding is not until next June why are you in such a rush now?” I really don’t know how to explain the whole wedding planning process to someone who never been to weddings or has no clue about wedding planning.I finally sent her an email and saying that I have decided to change all my bridesmaids to in town girls because it’s more convenient that way, and she got offended because she felt she has been isolated… However, I am very happy with my bridal party now. Everyone is very supportive and we just picked the bridesmaids dresses. Going to order them next week online. 🙂

Good luck with your bridesmaids. girls get together always lead to drama! Thats why I considered to have a man of honour haha. jk

Post # 9
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@ashleyyyg:Good for you for doing it!!! I’m on the fence about firing my bm as well just doesn’t seem interested AT ALL..how did u do it and what did she say?? 

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