- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
I was so excited when I got engaged, couldn’t wait to go dress shopping, choose bridesmaids and just plan a gorgeous wedding. Though My Fiance was being deployed to Afghanistan soon after our engagement which meant I would be doing alot of planing on my own. However he went little later which meant we both did planning, which I love as we both get to be involved and it is his day too and glad he gives his opinions. We actually got alot done.
He did get deployed and I was left with his family near by. Fiance and I had been doing fine it was perfect just us planning, but then all of a sudden I ended up with bridesmaids I wouldn’t have chosen as made to feel if I didn’t have them then I would be hated, but now I can’t ask the people I wanted like close friends as I have six and here in the UK that’s considered a fair few. I was told that I couldn’t buy dresses I was having them made by my future Mother-In-Law as it would be cheaper and would fit the Bridesmaid or Best Man better! Was told I had to find fabric which then I was told I wouldn’t find what I wanted! I wanted a print not sure why I couldnt have had? I was so tierd that day and missing my Fiance that I gave up caring what fabric was chosen, colour and pattern style! So now I have a colour I didn’t want, a pattern which seems to only suit the 3 Bridesmaid or Best Man I wouldn’t have asked had I not been told I must have them and now the fact that the mock up of the style looks awful! I felt so vulnerable and overwhelmed and emotional as I don’t cope the best when Fiance is away that I feel rubbish for not standing up for myself. Was told the hire place for the ushers had to be where it would fit one of the ushers rather than my Fiance being the one getting married and he will go where the suit best suits my man not the ushers just because he is super tall and skinny, Im marrying my Fiance what he wears is important, if the usher needs a longer trouser or skinnier fit he will have to buy and have them tailored!
I was told I had to hire a bus for guests or they wont want to come (cant afford) no offence if people are going to come they will make the effort, I flew to Scotland getting up at 3am for a wedding 2pm the same day and made effort to be there find transport and book a room as I was supporting there wedding. I’m certain they will do the same!
We have so many rooms at our venue for guests and his family were ringing to book mentioning our wedding before we had given the venue a room list! Also that his family live close to the venue but all want rooms at the hotel when we have so many out of town guest and my family coming a long way.
My Fiance is back at the moment but is being deployed again but we don’t have a set date It may be that he comes back just before the wedding and he also is away abroad several times this year. I want to stay strong but I don’t cope well at all, I lose weight drastically with stress so I am worried my dress will look wrong it is already coming in the smallest size and will need taking in! And I need to now be more opinionated and say what I feel. Like future Mother-In-Law said she was making the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses two inches off the floor! And because my Fiance was with me I told her they had to touch the floor! She had a huge rant (gave me palpitations) and then eventually backed down but worried she is going to do what she wants regardless especially for the smaller bridesmaid (who is actually as tall as me). I just wish I had said no to the fabric! I have told myself if I wouldn’t wear it then my Bridesmaid or Best Man are not wearing them and I will sell the fabric and have to pick something off the high street. My sister is getting married this year also before me and I helped her choose her Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses online came quick all done she sent them to her other Bridesmaid or Best Man and they like the dress and wearing them as my sis said they will wear what she wants granted she has good taste so I love the dress I get to wear for her wedding just wish it was that simple for me.
I have been having dress doubts also because of my shape and feel I chose my dress to quickly and don’t think it flatters me, and now I don’t have a clear theme idea and everything seems miss matched and I don’t know what to do. My Fiance is supportive and backs me up always he is better at telling people how it is, but when he is away I feel pressured from his family. I am just not someone who likes to make a scene in a way I wish I was more of a bridezilla because at least I could get my point across. My future Mother-In-Law says she isn’t involved enough but she has got her way with making the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses. My family aren’t doing anything all they have to do is turn up and have fun And they accept that. Though they are helping my sister with her wedding more which is a good thing.
Sorry about the rant I’m just so stressed and worried about Fiance being deployed again and being away so much I could be on the verge of a breakdown. I just don’t know how to deal with his family and to be stronger I know if I’m not I will end up with more things I don’t want and it will ruin the day.
Any help or wise words of advice would be much appreciated. Thank you.