Post # 1
To Bees with large rocks on their fingers,
I’m curious if you feel like you are judged on a regular basis because of the size of your ring.
I want a moissanite ring and becaue they are so reasonably priced, I obviously want a larger stone. I like the look and style more and to be perfectly honest, ad campaigns have ingrained in my head that big blingy rings are “better”. I’m afraid though that if I have a ~2 ct ring, I will be unfairly judged. For example, if someone asks me to donate money to a charity at the grocery store. If I say no, will they be thinking, “Look at that ring, she obviously has money but isn’t willing to share. that bitch!” Or at a job interview, PTA meeting, girls night out at the bar, etc. Will everyone be thinking, “I wonder what her husband does to make so much money…”
I have to be honest, when I see a women with a giant wedding ring, I assume that her and her husband have money. I work at a resturant and if I see a big ring, I often assume that they are going to spend more money. It’s terrible, but it’s true. I feel like it’s the same as seeing someone where a Hermes scarf or Louis Vuitton purse.
So my questions are this: If you have a large ring, do you ever feel uncomfortable, like people are judging you? Do any of you Bees have similar concerns with buying a large moissanite ring?
I know I shouldn’t care what people think about me and my beau. But I don’t want to buy a ring that will make me feel self-conscious.
PS. Feel free to post pictures of your rings because let’s be honest, all of us love to see that bling!
Post # 3
I don’t have a super large ring or anything, but I’ll admit when I see ladies with large rings I totally wonder what she and/or her husband do for a living! When I think those thoughts though, I don’t think it in a negative way by any means! I am thinking “wow! What a beautiful piece of jewelry!” The only time I think negatively of peole who I think might have money is if they are rude to me, which is the same with everbody else
Post # 4
My center stone isnt considered large for where I live (1ct). I used to work at a highline auto dealer and every female customer in there had a huge rock. Without fail. But I guess I couldnt be surprised when people drove $60k+ cars. And then they’d complain about their bill. I judged a little.
ETA: I think age also plays a factor into if someone will judge you for having a 2ct moissy. If you look a bit on the younger side people may think a certain way. Your area plays a factor too.
Post # 5
I honestly never pay attention to anyones rings. I did for a few months, while FI and I were shopping for rings. But at this point I just don’t pay attention. I guess if a ring was outragously enormous I might notice, but I don’t think I would even notice a stranger wearing a 2ct ring.
Post # 6
I think based on what you wrote you would be very self concious wearing a 2ct equivalent moissy. I do think there’s a little bit of a stigma with wearing a large ring, pretty much along the lines of what you wrote. I also agree with the above poster that age makes a difference. My mom has a 3ct ring, but she’s 65 years old so has earned that sucker! But a young couple with a big ring screams deep pockets to me.
Post # 7
Well my center stone is just over 2ct so not super huge but on the larger side. The only person I’ve ever felt “judgment” from was my DH’s brother and that mostly came down to jealousy I think.
I can honestly say I’ve never felt judged by anyone else in any other situation. I get a lot of compliments on my ring but have never been asked how big it is or had any snide comments about its size. Frankly, I like big jewelry and so I would never let other people’s opinions get in the way of having what I like and you shouldn’t either. Who cares what some random cashier or stranger on the street thinks. Their opinions have no bearing on your life so don’t let them influence your decisions.
Post # 8
Judge them for a huge ring? No. Notice, for sure. Around here, 1 carat is normal, much bigger than that and people notice it. And yeah, I might judge if you had a huge rock on, talking on your iPhone from your $500 bag using a food stamps card, but otherwise, I just assume your husband or you make more money than me, or wanted to spend more money on a ring than DH and I did.
Post # 9
If someone is a judgemental person, I think they’ll judge you no matter WHAT you do. When I see big rings on other people, I generally thing ‘WOW that’s beautiful’ or something, and I admit I wonder what their husband does but I don’t think about it in a bad way. The only people I thought about judging my ring were people I knew ‘Well, she can’t afford a nicer wedding gift but look at the rock on her finger’ type of thinking. But then I realized that I didn’t give a hoot what other people think, as long as I love it 🙂
If you want to rock a 2ct ring, and have the means to do so, then wear it well sister! On the flip side, if you couldn’t afford a 2ct diamond, I wouldn’t go for a 2ct moissy unless you plan on telling people it’s a Moissy…because if people know you can’t afford a big rock they’ll think you’re wearing a cheap CZ. See? Judgy judgy judgy!! LOL
Post # 10
Yes, you may be judged by people who assume you have $ because of the size of your ring.
Mine isn’t huge, a 1.25, but people stare at it sometimes in a judgy way–I sometimes hear a rant about how people throw money away on huge rocks and I find myself explaining that my fiance works near the diamond district and he got a great deal–maybe I should tell them to f off, but socially sometimes that’s not possible
You also may be judged by those that know you, who may think that you ‘foolishly’ spent more $ on a ring than you could afford (not making assumptions about your lifestyle, I’ve just seen this happen)
But if a large moissanite is what you want, go for it. Who cares what people think?
Post # 11
I don’t associate a person with a big ring = they have more money. To me size is a matter of taste, just as cut or style.
Plus, with stones like moissanites growing in popularity , larger rings are more affordable; and cost much less then their diamond counterpart. Which once again rings to the tune that a big ring doesn’t always equal big money.
Post # 12
I agree with PPs that I don’t really notice large rings, so it doesn’t make a difference … unless they’re really in-your-face about it, in which case I do judge them, I admit. A girl I know got engaged recently, and has been so HAVE YOU SEEN MY RING HERE’S MY RING LOOK HOW BIG IT IS OMG FI IS SOOOO AWESOME AND GENEROUS that you can’t help but think “wow, what a … not-nice girl.” But if she had quietly received a large engagement ring and focused more on her engagement itself instead of the ring, I wouldn’t have thought twice!
Post # 13
To be honest, yes. I have a 2 ct. stone with a halo. My mother passed down her center stone to my fiance’ to use for my ring but people do ask the classic “what does he doooo?!” I have recieved some pretty snarky comments that I don’t think were said to be rude, but more than anything made me uncomfortable. Ex. during a coversation I was talking with my hands and someone said “looking for any excuse to flash that ring, huh?” I was like, um, sorry?
That being saiddddd I have recieved many more comments that are sweet–regardless I am proud of my ring because it was my mothers and my fiance’ gave it to me!
ETA: Get whatever you LOVE and feel comfortable with 🙂
Post # 14
I think regardless of the size of your ring people (especially girls) will be judging you. Whether you have a large rock or a small rock someone some where will have an opinion. Just do what you and your FI are comfortable with. The rest won’t matter.
My ring isn’t as large as you’re thinking of buying, but it is blingy and draws a lot of attention. I also look young so I do get rude comments from time to time from people who don’t know me beyond my name. I’m a straight shooter so if someone asks me a rude question I answer them with a rude comment back. They usually get the point and keep any further comments to themselves.
Post # 15
I am super self conscious about my ring. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE it and it has very special meaning (it was my husbands mothers stone who passed away before we were engaged) but people constantly comment on it and it makes me uncomfortable sometimes. I have a 3 carat center stone yet I drive an older car, buy my clothes from Target, and I’m just not into keeping up with the Jones’ if you know what I mean. I just feel like people automatically think we bought this huge ring and have our priorities backwards which couldn’t be farther from the truth. It’s my own insecurity but there are definitely women out there who judge based on assumptions.
Post # 16
I have just over 1ct for my ring, The band is simple and there are no side stones or anything so i figured a 1ct was ok. ALL i have heard is how gigantic it is, and how other girls dont want to put their ring next to mine because they will feel crappy. WTH. They all have other diamonds all over their rings, let me have my one rock and leave me alone.
It makes me a little self concious. But since FI could afford it, and it was exactly what i wanted i try to ignore the comments and let FI know its perfect.
edit: most girls have between .5-.7 as their center stone around here.