- 8 years ago
- Wedding: April 2013
So i found out today that my grandparents who i am extremely close to won’t be attending the wedding due to health reasons. My grandmother just had heart surgery and my grandfather hasn’t been in the best shape for a while, but has just recently gotten worse. I live 1500 miles away from them, so traveling would be very difficult for them, which i understand. I’m not throwing a fit that they aren’t coming, i’m just extremely bummed out. I never imagined them not being there.
I’m also upset because i barely have anyone coming. My mother died when i was a junior in high school. Her family isn’t the best, they didn’t talk to us much when she was alive, so now we hardly ever speak. So basically the only family i have coming is my three sisters (who are my bridesmaids) and my dad and his new wife and three kids (who i never have met) I understand we don’t have to do sides since they’ll be way uneven (my Fiance has a huge family all of which live here in town literally ALL aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc) but i just get depressed when i think that i’ll have 7 people there for me.
Here’s some back story as to why my situation is the way it is. I grew up moving around a lot. Pretty much back and forth from texas and florida (my mom’s family lived in texas, and my dad’s in florida)My parents divorced when i was 7. My dad got custody. He met a woman online and we moved to Nebraska so they could begin a relationship. They married, and I finally lived in one place for more than a year. In fact i graduated and went to college in the area. the first year i was in college my dad and step mom divorced. He and my two younger sisters moved back to florida to be closer to family, but i was going to college and dating my now Fiance so i stayed. Well my Fiance ended up flunking out after the first year, so i agreed to move back to his home town with him. So now we’ve been here for 2 years, and I have no friends (this is a small town with barely any people our age. Its mostly middle aged people with school aged kids)
So…I literally have 7 people coming. I hate thinking about planning, or even thinking about the actual day because i feel like its going to be horrible. i know that marriage is about the two people. But i’ve always dreamed of having a great wedding, not necissarily expensive, but i imagined all my family would be there. I just get so depressed, and end up crying all the time about it.
I also get extremely frustrated because we don’t have a lot of money. Our parents also don’t have a lot of money, so its up to us to pay for it.Which we agreed we’d use our tax return. But My Fiance gets very grumpy when i talk about buying stuff for the wedding. saying we don’t need any decorations, he doesn’t want a dinner, he doesn’t want anything. He’d be fine just getting married at the court house. Which i do not want. I know we can’t afford much, but seriously we can afford more than the courthouse (not knocking anyone who got married at a courthouse i just don’t want to) He basically wants to spend the money on stuff that he wants for our apartment or video games or whatever.
I just want a nice wedding, not expensive, just nice, I want it to at least make me feel better about having no one there. I’m just sad, and angry, and feel alone, and like a total loser. Okay thats it i’m done.