(Closed) HUGE Wedding Decision…. WOAH!!!!

posted 3 years ago in Venue
Post # 2
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

That sounds fine as long as it’s held when it’s not during a meal time and that your guests are fully aware of the fact that it is not a sit down reception nor that food will be served.

Post # 3
7093 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Sorry, if I’ve got to travel, then give me just one dress code. Casual or dressy. Not both. I don’t want to have to drag two outfits with me. And if I’m paying for a room, the least you can do is feed me a proper dinner. It’s not fair for the hostess to shift her costs onto the guests. The reason this kind of idea is so cheap to host is because it’s so expensive to attend.  You may be paying less but it sounds like your guests are goimg to have som e hefty bills to pay, and that is not cool.

Post # 4
800 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I am generally on board with doing whatever the bride and groom want, because it’s their day! If you choose to go this route make sure your guests understand there will be no dinner or food unless they pay for it. This will allow people to prepare, or even decide not to come if costs are too high.

I do think you should consider Horseradish’s point, though. Choosing to do it this way just shifts costs to your guests. I know I would prefer a cocktail hour with apps over a welcome bag and favors. Just make sure to keep your guests in mind!

Post # 5
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

PossumGirl:  could you at least provide some apps during the Tiki Bar party? Like pp said, I’d rather have some good apps over a welcome bag or a favor.

DrInking+sun+no food=very inebriated/possibly sick guests

ETA: I’m not sure how many people are invited/will attend, but my guess is for $200-$300 you could order enough apps off the menu for everyone to pick at. It definitely doesn’t have to be fancy-just SOMETHING. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by  hippopotamus.
Post # 6
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

You aren’t obligated to spend a ton of money.  A local cake and champagne party at 8pm or 2pm is fine. But if you expect guests to spend a weekend and get hotel rooms, you are asking for a whole lot without being generous in return.  If you dont want to spend a lot of money, please dont ask your guests to. unless you are paying for rooms? 

Post # 7
7093 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

canadajane:  This exactly.  It’s YOUR wedding. If you don’t want to spend a lot, then you should not be asking your guests to spend a lot either.  

Post # 8
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Industrial/Modern

I’m going to go with bad idea. For the reasons canadajane and Horseradish have outlined. 

Post # 9
192 posts
Blushing bee

If I’m shelling out the money to attend a DW and then have to pay for everything…nope. Sorry, to me this reads as you having everything you want but making your guests pay for it. Surely for the same cost you can do something else. 

Post # 10
2427 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I say if you don’t want to have a big wedding than have just a small wedding with less people. You can do just family and close friends. You can save a lot of money that way. I wouldn’t want to go to a beach wedding when thers isn’t going to be any food involved. “Late night food delivered” No one wants to wait that long for food!

Post # 11
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Let me be honest. If this were a local wedding, I’d be thrilled to watch someone get married and then party at a bar. That sound fun and offbeat.

If I had to pay hundreds or thousand of dollars to fly somewhere and get a room, I’d be less than thrilled.

While I think a lot of etiquette/traditions is BS (white dress? matching bridesmaids dresses? who cares?), I do think it is important to be polite to your guests and make them comfortable. Asking them to pay to fly out for a weekend and then not provide much in return is not polite in my opinion (I’d MUCH rather have a meal with the couple than a welcome bag. Welcome bags are hardly necessary. Cute, I guess, but I don’t really need you to buy me granola bars and sunblock. I’m an adult.)

This gets thrown around a lot, but have the wedding you can afford. If you REALLY want a destination wedding, invite the number of people you can afford to feed. You can always have a casual bar celebration at home. If you really want all of those people there and you want a cake/punch/cocktail/non-meal reception, keep it local.

Post # 12
8580 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’ve always believed that you should have the wedding you afford. If this wedding/reception is taking place over a meal, you should feed your guests. Even more so if it’s a destination wedding.

Post # 13
572 posts
Busy bee

Look, you don’t have to do things in a ‘formal’ way, it doesn’t have to be black-tie, string quartet, etc. All those things are unnecessary and expensive.

But you do have to properly *host*, and that means feeding a full meal for a destination wedding (where EVERYONE travels to be there). There are fairly inexpensive ways to feed a full meal, and it can be casual buffet instead of plated, sit-down service – but you still have to feed your guests dinner.

If I found out my friend expected me to shell out a few thousand dollars (plane tickets, hotel rooms, rental car, etc) and then wouldn’t even feed me a basic meal? I’d be pretty ticked at her expectations.

Post # 14
5419 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

Well considering that she is in Orlando and the beach isn’t that far, I don’t think her guest will have to travel that far and spend thousands to get there….

OP, can I come to your wedding? It sounds fun!! 

Post # 15
2748 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

What if you did appetizers & snacks instead of dinner or nothing. There are a lot of options with this. I would choose to feed them and buy each person a couple of drinks as opposed to paying for the drinks & not having food. Other than that I think it sounds awesome & a lot of fun! 

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