(Closed) HUGE Wedding Decision…. WOAH!!!!

posted 5 years ago in Venue
Post # 76
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - The Fairmont, SF

AnnaVictoria:  I guess I felt the need to respond to you for a few reasons.

1. It’s totally okay to have a different wedding or have different expectations of what a wedding will entail. The thing is, though, that the OP asked for opinions and we gave them to her. You can dismiss our concerns (“Rrright”) but the fact of the matter is, nearly every commenter has indicated that the food and drink situation may not be ideal. That’s worth considering because I think that the majority of people – on this site and in real life – have the notion in their head that weddings include some sort of meal when the reception is held around a meal time. I think it’s reasonable to assume that her guests will feel the same way.  It’s great that your cousin had a fun wedding but I’d hazard a guess that her experience may not be wholly representative – then again, neither are our responses. That being said, I, for one, would leave a friend or family member’s wedding early for a variety of reasons, hunger being one of them.

2. There are SO many bees on these boards who are terribly upset about their wedding days because guests left early. I think that the bees who have discouraged the OP and have given her potential cons to her plan are doing it largely out of kindness and concern that she may end up equally disappointed.

3. As Penang1885 said, there are several different ways to hold a wedding without breaking the bank but still ensuring your guests’ comfort. The OP owes it to herself and her guests to at least consider alternatives to her current plan.

Post # 77
7413 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Tincangirl:  I’m sure you meant that to be a cute little statement. However, from a guest’s persepctive, if the host/ess sets the expectation that we’re going to do formal dress for part of the event and casual dress for the rest of it, it makes me feel like the host/ess is micromanaging my wardrobe and also making my life more difficult.  If it’s a wedding with a change of clothes in between, it’s just creating extra work for me. So yeah I’m sure I could fit another outfit in my bag and manage to survive the trip, but that doesn’t make it any less of an obnoxious move on the bride’s part to expect me to do it.

Post # 78
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I think it sounds wonderful but I would do two things:

Specify what type of party this will be (casual dinner)

I would spring for an open bar tab for guests

Post # 79
2272 posts
Buzzing bee


I think drinks and classy fingerfoods would be awesome, plus a tiki bar can be done well and a little glam too I think! It’s a beach its supposed to be laid back 😀

Post # 80
27 posts

That sounds like a blast!!  I’d be thrilled to attend such a fun celebration. 

Post # 81
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I think it sounds fun! I would make a few tweaks to the original plan: 

1. Nix the wardrobe change. Have it be fun and relaxed all the way through and tell them it’s “tiki casual”. If you and your bridal party want to be more formal and then change, that might be a better solution. 

2. Cash bars are problematic. Find a cheap drink and provide it for everyone! 

3. Likewise, make sure you feed everyone (mostly so they don’t get sloppy-wasted). A poster a few above me has some great ideas for finger food. I love the idea of “heavy appetizers” so it’s more casual, but make sure they truly are getting enough to eat

4. Enjoy! The best part of your day is that you get to structure it how you want, but the weddings that people will rave (not grumble) about are easy, fun, and carefree! Stick with those principles and you should be good! 

Post # 82
2669 posts
Sugar bee

The OP doesn’t want opinions, she wants validatons. She’s not gonna get it from me, but she won’t care, that’s fine  When you put it out on the internet, be prepared for what you get, good or bad.

She’s going to have hungry, pissed off guests who will talk negatively behind her back.  But hey, they’ll have cute gift bags.

Post # 83
182 posts
Blushing bee

That sounds so awesome. I say do what you can afford and what’s right for both you and your fiance! Im actually a little jealous! LOL

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