Post # 1
DH’s family are big huggers. I always knew this and I’ve always tried my best to go along with it. However, sometimes it’s excessive. When you have 20 people or so at Thanksgiving it’s exhausting to hug everyone hello and goodbye….and remember who you’ve hugged and who you haven’t. I feel like I always forget someone and sometimes that offends people but I do my very best. I also feel like if I’ve seen that person already that day, do I really need to go around and hug everyone again? Any suggestions on how to not offend anyone but also not dread the hugging (like I’m beginning to?) Don’t get me wrong, I love DH’s family but all the hugging is starting to seem like a chore…and one I’m not very good at(as I usually forget someone).
Post # 3
We’re huggers in my family too, so this is how I handle it. We hug whoever is there when we first get there (and usually we’re some of the first there so its not many). We leave it up to others to come and hug us hello when they arrive. If they don’t it doesn’t matter but this way its their perogative basically.
Post # 4
Especially for leaving, I think you could get your shoes and coat on, stand by the door, and yell something like, “Okay, we’re getting ready to leave, if you want a goodbye hug, come and get it!” Puts the responsibility more on them, less on you – the ones who would be offended will be sure to come and get their hug.
It’s tough to adjust to the customs of a new family sometimes!
Post # 5
You’re lucky they only hug! My and Fi’s family want a kiss too, and while I will hug everyone, I feel awkward for the kiss so they go in for a kiss ans I go in for just a hug and it gets fumbled sometimes, haha.
Post # 6
@LpCutiPie: I think I was overwhelemed at Thanksgiving because when we got there there were already a TON of people there. And I personally find it a bit akaward to just go up and hug someone. Something I”m still adjusting to I guess.
@Leeluu: Good point! That would make me a little bit uncomfortable!
Post # 7
My family is definitely a bunch of huggers, but we don’t make people feel bad if they don’t go around to make sure they ‘got’ everyone! I like daydreamwanderer’s suggestion of ‘announcing’ your arrival and departure. Those who want their hugs can come get ’em, and those who don’t shouldn’t complain (exceptions for very elderly grandmas, etc) but you get the idea. Have you talked to Fiance about it? Maybe he can guide you through the lineup once you arrive so you hit everyone together and then it’s done and over with? 🙂
Post # 8
Haha, my FI’s family are huggers too, and some are kissers, and some double kiss… it’s quite the process! I just make the rounds when we get there… it’s kind of like a procession of people, but everyone does it. It doesn’t really bother me anymore, since we’ve been together for 10 years, but it definitely took some getting used to! Especially since everyone tends to do something different.
Post # 9
Lol at “not being very good at it” as far as hugging. Made me smile. 🙂
My family, well, my little sister (she is 6 and adopted) will basically run and tackle me and Fiance when we get there. I guess it’s different since she’s little and cute. 🙂 I would just hug who’s around and if someone else wants a hug, can’t they come get it? It seems weird that people would be upset by this.
Post # 10
lol my grandma kissed Fiance on the lips the first time she met him 🙂 so at least they don’t all want kisses!
Post # 11
@youhavemyheart: Hahaha! This reminds me of the new show “Raising Hope” where the grandma thinks her grandson is her late husband. lol!
Post # 12
“Oh, I love hugging. I wish I was an octopus, so I could hug 10 people at a time!”
– Drew Barrymore
This about sums me up. I love hugging! I find it easier to start on one side of the room and make a loop with hugs, it’s easier to keep track 🙂
Post # 13
lol I’ve never seen that show, I’ll have to look for it! My poor Fiance has gotten more than his fair share of creepy grandma stunts 🙂 My grandma kissed him on the lips, my other grandpa accidentally touched his junk (she turned to reach for something and he was walking towards the kitchen where we all were and she full-on grabbed his package, so hilarious) and then my best friend’s grandma pinched his butt just for giggles and grins. But he’s a good sport about it.
Post # 14
B/c my inlaws are European, we do the double cheek kiss with the hug. My family is the same way. Consider yourself lucky, OP!
Post # 15
Yup Hugger family here as well =) Both sides of my family are big huggers. My dads family is the worst though because on top of hugging they are kissing on the mouth-ers. ewwwww that grosses me out! Anywho! I just hug who I see when I walk in and when I leave I give a quick half hug and then as I’m walking out, make some type of joke along the lines of “Sorry if I didn’t tell you goodbye! I can’t remember who all I hugged! See you later, take care!” and dash out the door! Tadaa! no more hugging then whats needed!
Post # 16
Another suggestion is that sometimes we’ll walk in carrying things and verbally say hello and let those that want to hug us come to us while we’re putting our stuff down and getting settled. I’ve also told my husband its okay to run to the restroom real quick so that by the time he gets back most of the hugging is over with lol!