Post # 1
For those who don’t know, Weiner is a politician who was embroiled in a sexting scandal. His wife has come out as saying that she forgives and supports him.
This piece includes interviews with women judging and shaming her for staying with him.
This article annoys me so much. So she is able to forgive and move forward, and we’re judging her for this apparently? Calling her shallow, attention-hungry, gold digging? Saying she just wants attention or she just wants a husband in office, or she has stockholm syndrome.
How about maybe she just loves him and sees their relationship and their shared goals as worth more than righteous indignation? Why would we shame her for standing with him? What gives people the right to think they know what’s best for her or tell her what her priorities ought to be or what she should want?
Different offenses hurt different people in different ways. It’s possible that for her, this falls under “upsetting but not worth destroying a marriage over” rather than “dealbreaker” and I don’t think that makes her any less strong or worthy.
Post # 3
I imagine if she were my best friend/sister/co-worker I would be telling her that she deserves better. Because every woman does. At some point the loyalty is just stupidity.
Post # 4
This makes me mad.
There are people who wouldn’t CARE if their husband did this. To them, it’s very similar to porn and they are HAPPY for their husband to express his sexuality like this in a way that doesn’t harm their relationship and in fact, makes it much easier to continue to be physically and emotionally monogamous.
I get that a lot of people do not feel this way, and that’s ok too. But they shouldn’t press upon her the same feelings they would have in that situation. I have a feeling that she doesn’t actually care about this stuff (and possibly even encourages it and get’s a kick out of it too!) but it would be much too hard to come out and say this to the public because that’s too risqué for people to handle.
Different people have different standards for what’s ok in a relationship and what is not. That should not decide the path of someone’s career.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I admit it, I am judging her just like I judged Hillary Clinton. I know relationships are far more complicated than what we outsiders see. But when somebody’s husband is unfaithful over and over and over again, after promising to change (and yes I count IM and phone sex as cheating), it just doesn’t make sense to me. She’s not a Stepford Wife – she’s a brilliant, accomplished, feminist woman. And he’s a sleazeball. And (based on her comments) this was not an agreed-upon allowance in their marriage. So I don’t get it at all.
That said, some of the women in that article were way bitchy.
Post # 6
Sorry but she looks pathetic after this latest stint. Fool me once shame on you fool me twoce shame on me type of deal. he clearly has zero respect for her. That is all of course assuming she cares tht he does this. If it doesn’t cross any relationship boundaries for her then that’s just fine and dandy. No one truly knows of thats the case. However given he is a public figure he needs to stop being such a dumbass about it and be much more discreet.
eta – he should be thinking less about his penis and more about his child who will someday have to read all about this and lose respect for him.
Post # 7
I really have no opinion on her (ok, a little, but that kind of weakness is sadly so common) …but I judge him, hard.
I really don’t think the attention should be on the non-cheater in this scenario. Like, at all. Let’s keep our eyes on the douche.
Post # 8
If she wants to stay with a cheater that’s her opinion, but to call her names like gold digger and shallow is just stupid. Like a pp pointed out, we know very little of her side, we hear much more about her husband. I was disgusted the first time he was in the news but to keep on doing this to your wife and child is beyond ridiculous, judge the cheater not the cheatee.
Post # 9
@Bebealways: I don’t think she’s a gold digger, but I’ll judge her for going bak, yeah. It makes me think she must be weak willed, and lack self confidence.
What he did is unforgiveable if a woman actually respects herself.
Post # 10
although obviously, she does not bear her husband’s shame for what HE did. I just wish more women would put themselves first, instead of supporting people who are not worth them.
Post # 11
@Asia: Or she just isn’t that hurt by it. Are people not allowed to have different opinions of things? I wouldn’t dump FH for sexting, even if it was repeated. I’m confident and strong and have plenty of respect for myself, and yet I don’t see it as unforgivable at all.
I’d obviously rather he didn’t, of course it would be upsetting, but I just don’t see it as a dump-worthy offense by far. Some people would. That’s fine. But why do they HAVE to share the same opinion as everyone else lest they be branded with insults?
If I were her I’d basically be more pissed that he got caught and started that crapstorm than that he did it in the first place.
The point is that it is possible to be strong and confident and put yourself first and still get over something that would be horrible for someone else.
The point is it’s not our place to tell her what her priorities SHOULD be or what she SHOULD be doing. Doing as she pleases does not make her weak, even if you would make a different choice in her situation.
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
@joya_aspera: I agree. But I think attention is also going towards her because it’s obvious to 100.0% of everyone that he’s a sleazeball, so no need to debate that…
Post # 13
@Bebealways: Huma Abedin certainly has the right to make her own choices, and I don’t think people have the right to call her shallow, attention-hungry, gold digging, etc. Or to say she just wants attention or a husband in office. Or to imply that she has Stockholm syndrome.
I agree with you that different people are affected differently by different events that happen to them, and this definitely relates to how people process or deal with offenses such as these. I don’t think people should be judging her for her decisions.
However, I think that the position she was put in was humiliating, and that it is unacceptable that political wives are humiliated repeatedly in the luridness of the media after their husbands commit sexual indiscretions. This is not their mess to clean up. To me, the answer is simple–leave them out of the limelight. This will allow them to keep their personal lives personal. Have the person who committed the indiscretion answer for his actions…alone.
This article sums it up pretty well: http://www.cnn.com/2013/07/24/opinion/bloom-huma-political-wives/
Post # 14
@MsKiss: I agree wholeheartedly… That’s part of what bugged me about the NYT piece… it was so unnecessary, it’s not like it reported any facts that are relevant to anyone, just drawing needless unpleasant attention to someone who should be left alone to handle things however she wants to.
Post # 15
The name calling thing is ridiculous, however, people have every right to judge her. She isn’t just the wife of a politician, she IS a politician. She is Hillary right hand and has been. Hillary runs for office, which is presumed, she will again be the right hand. Her family situation makes her, and him, vulnerable to blackmail. So yes, I judge people on their judgement, which in this situation, is questionable.
Post # 16
@Bebealways: I agree, I just read it and it’s so distasteful. It’s just a bunch of gossip that one would expect to find on page six. I can’t believe this was published in the NYT.