(Closed) Humanist Vows/Readings + Symbolic Handfasting

posted 4 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 4
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Have you looked at offbeatbride.com? They feature, well, offbeat weddings that might have something like you are looking for. They have a lot of examples of different kinds of vows (funny, serious, poetic) and ceremonies.

Post # 6
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

A bit long but here is our handfasting ceremony, our guests that were there had never heard one before and everyone of them has told us how amazing it was and that they loved the words…..

The Asking:   I now  ask you to face each other holding hands 

Know now before you go further, that since your lives have crossed in this life you have formed ties between each other.

As you seek to enter this state of matrimony you should strive to make real, the ideals which give meaning to both this ceremony and the institution of marriage.

The promises made today and the ties that are bound here greatly strengthen your union; they will cross the years and lives of each soul’s growth.

Do you still seek to enter this ceremony?
Bride and Groom say, “Yes, We Seek to Enter.”

Blessing of the Hands
These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief racks your mind.

These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times.

These are the hands that will give you support and encourage you to chase your dreams. Together, everything you wish for can be realized.

 

I bid you look into each others eyes.

Tim, Will you cause her pain?
Groom says,“I May.”

Is that your intent?
Groom says,“No.”

Trish, Will you cause him pain?
Bride says,“I may.”

Is that your intent?
Bride says,“No.”

Will you share each other’s pain and seek to ease it?
Bride and Groom say, “Yes.”

First cord is draped across bride and groom’s hands
And so the first binding is made. Join your hands

Trish, Will you share his laughter?
Bride says,“Yes.”

Tim, Will you share her laughter?
Groom says, “Yes.”

Will both of you look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other?
Bride and Groom say, “Yes.”

Second cord is draped across bride and groom’s hands
And so the second binding is made.

Trish, Will you burden him?
Bride says, “I may.”

Is that you intent?
Bride says, “No.”

Tim, Will you burden her?
Groom says, “I May.”

Is that your intent?
Groom says, “No.”

Will you share the burdens of each so that your spirits may grow in this union?
Bride and Groom say, “Yes.”

Third cord is draped across bride and groom’s hands
And so the third binding is made.

Trish, will you share his dreams?
Bride says, “Yes.”

Tim, will you share her dreams?
Yes

Trish and Tim,will you dream together to create new realities and hopes?
Yes

Fourth cord is draped across bride and groom’s hands
And so the fourth binding is made.

Tim, will you cause her anger?
Groom says, “I May.”
Is that you intent?
No

Trish, will you cause him anger?
Bride says, “I may.”

Is that your intent?
Bride says, “No.”

Trish and Tim, will you take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this union?
Bride and Groom say, “We Will.”

Fifth chord is draped across bride and groom’s hands
And so the fifth binding is made.

Trish, Will you honor him?
Bride says, “I will.”

Tim, Will you honor her?
Groom says, “I will”

Will you seek to never give cause to break that honor?
Bride and Groom say, “We shall never do so.”

Sixth cord is draped across bride and groom’s hands
And so the sixth binding is made.

The knots of this binding are not formed by these chords but instead by your vows. Either of you may drop the chords, for as always, you hold in your own hands the making of breaking of this union.

The cords are removed and placed on altar.

 

 

Tim, place the ring on Trish’s finger and repeat after me.

 

Trish I take you as my wife, my partner in life and my one and only true love. I will cherish our marriage and promise to love you with all my heart. I promise not to break your trust and will remain faithful to you through good times or bad. Regardless of the obstacles we will face in this life, I promise to always share all the joys, burdens, successes and hardships with you. We will face the world together from this day on, for as long as we both shall live. With this ring I give you my love and crown it with my heart.

 

Trish, place the ring Tim’s finger and repeat after me.

Tim I take you as my husband, my partner in life and my one and only true love. I will cherish our marriage and promise to love you with all my heart. I promise not to break your trust and will remain faithful to you through good times or bad. Regardless of the obstacles we will face in this life, I promise to always share all the joys, burdens, successes and hardships with you. We will face the world together from this day on, for as long as we both shall live. With this ring I give you my love and crown it with my heart.

 

 

Trish and Tim

As you have consented together in lawful marriage

In the presence of these witnesses,

and by the giving and receiving of these rings,

I now pronounce you

FINALLY

Husband and Wife.

Post # 8
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
ana2017:  No problem, we loved the fact that it seemsed more real and honest than anything else we had heard or read. We knew we didnt want just hearts and flowers and promises of things that werent reality. good luck with your planning

Post # 12
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

We’re having a humanist ceremony (we’re based in Ireland) and the celebrant included handfasting in his draft ceremony. We’ve decided against it as it’s a lovely tradition, but as my parents have passed we’ve decided against doing anything that would traditionally be done by the bride and grooms parents. Here’s what our celebrant sent:

Hand Fasting accompanied by “Hands” reading:

The ritual of Hand Fasting is a very ancient Celtic marriage ritual. It predates Christianity and has been adapted and absorbed into the wedding ceremonies of many religions. It involves the symbolic binding of hands of the couple and so I am going to ask F and E to stand and face each other and to join their hands.

(This can be a simple holding of hands or joined hands can be loosely wrapped with ribbon. As a default option I can do the reading but it is much nicer if it is done by friends or family members.)

Reader #1: These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.

These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future.

These are the hands that will love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.

These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.

Reader #2: These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow and, as today, tears of joy.

These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children, the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.

These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.

And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.

 

 

Post # 13
Member
6262 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
ana2017:  we are having a humanist ceremony too. I’d like to keep our vows and words special for the day so I won’t share them here but what I will say is speak to your celebrant. They’ll have lots of ‘templates’ that you can pick and chose from and add your own parts and words. 

We aren’t doing a hand fastening (although I love the words written here). We are coin a ring blessing though with all our guests. 

Post # 14
Member
11392 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
ana2017:  just saw my auto correct to “hand fasting”, hope your fingers aren’t starving:-) 

Post # 15
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

View original reply
ana2017:  I’m in Toronto and our Officiant actually brought up the idea of handfasting to Fiance and I as neither of us is particularly religious.  His name is Wayde Salmon, and I would highly recommend him.  He married fiance’s sister last year and we were both so pleased with him we hired him right off the bat once we got engaged.

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