(Closed) Humor me and give me advice!

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

if you’d rather have less, then less is best- unless it will cause a family fight or something. you sound like the idea of 6 bridesmaids would not make things "simple". so why feel crappy about not asking SIL? bc Fi will have more groomsmen? i think asking her to do readings is fine unless you are really close or Fiance is having your brother in his party. 

Post # 4
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Since I am going completely simple, and just having my sister stand up for me, my first reaction is to wonder how 6 BMS can be that much more complicated than 4?  However, I think you get to do what you want.  I don’t think its crappy of you at all not to have FI’s SIL (so let’s see, related to Fiance only by marriage…) as a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  If FI also had 3 sisters, and a couple more married brothers, would you feel obligated to have 10 BMs (I think I counted right – 3 sisters, 1 roomie, 3 FSILs and 3 FSILs once removed.  Or whatever you call your husband’s SILs.)  Maybe you feel bad because she is the only sort of immediate family member not a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but you’re not really obligated to include every female family member.  I think including her as giving a reading will be very nice.  And, although you don’t say how close you really are to her, if you’re not that close it might be weird for her to be in the group with your sisters and roomie, who I’m sure are very close to you.

Post # 5
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

i’m having 6. way more than i wanted….but in the end i chose a few bc i thought i would regret NOT doing it in the future…..

 my Fiance has one sister and i have not asked her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. i plan to ask her to do a reading or sing. i really just cant stomach having 7 BMs. especially with Fiance is only having 1!

she has called me twice since the engagement…..and it occured to me that she may be fishing for that, but like you, I only know her thru family functions. she is not a friend. and i believe it would be wierd to include her on such a level.



Post # 7
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Even if you choose to have only four on your side and six on his I think it’s okay. When my fiance picked his guys I was alright with my four BFs. It would’ve been uneven but I wanted to pick the girls that meant the world to me. We’ve known each other for TOO long and even though none of us live near eachother anymore we’re still there for eachother. But at the end I had to put his sisters in it too. I guess they’re close (he’s like a father figure to them) and I suggested they stood on his side but I was questioned on why they couldn’t stand with my girls. Oh how i wanted to say "They mean nothing to me!" But who wants to start a marriage off with a family fight?  I don’t think you have to include  future sis-in-law in your bridal party. She’s only related to Fiance through marriage and you’re not close anyways. I’m sure she’s not expecting to be in it.

Post # 8
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

i was in sort of the same situation — my FI’s brother recently got engaged, but i don’t know his Fiance at all so i chose not to have her in my bridal party. it’s exactly like you say — she’s a nice girl it wouldn’t be the same feel if she was there (as we’re all close). it was a little weird, but no one made an issue out of it (thankfully).

i told my FI’s sister (who is in my bridal party and who is close to the brother’s FI): "by the way, i wasn’t planning on asking brother’s Fiance to be a bridesmaid. do you think she would want to be an usher though?" that way it was clear what i was thinking (so there would be no awkward conversations — i’m so bad with that!) and that she still felt like she was being included.

so i would have whoever you want without worrying about how many it is or who isn’t included. what’s most important is that you’re with the people who are close to you during this *very* stressful time!

Post # 9
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

no worries – if you’re not "close" to your SIL, and you dont "want" her as a Bm then dont…

who says the Bridal Party has to match up – friends dont come in pringle packs, neither does the Bridal Party – it’s ok!

last year my Girlfriend had 12 BMs and 8 GMs – they were just as married and just as happy..

go for it!!

Post # 10
41 posts
  • Wedding: July 2008

man, i’m a simple person so i’m only having 2! having 6 seems like way to many! i don’t even think i have 6 friends! haha. sad. nah, it’s his sister, not yours. she’ll understand hopefully.

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