(Closed) Hungover for the wedding

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Trippy1 has the right to be angry or is over reacting

    anger is justified

    Waaaaay over reacting

  • Post # 92
    Member
    192 posts
    Blushing bee

    For a male perspective, I showed this to my Fiance and he is horrified.  He says no woman deserves to be treated like that, especially from her husband.

    Post # 93
    Member
    90 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Wow… that is TERRIBLE! I’m under the impression that he just agrees with whatever you want, he’ll promise you anything just to avoid arguments or confrontation, and then blames you for the outcome (” it was your idea to get married”)

    The least he can do is at the very least apologize, but he doesn’t even seem to think that he’s responsible for this! 

    Even though your parents might not be very happy with a divorce, they will be when you find someone that they really like, and who treats you a lot better than this idiot. Sorry you’re going through this 🙁 Good luck!

    Post # 94
    Member
    451 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Very sad to hear what you’ve gone through and are continuing to deal with, OP.

    The bottom line here seems to be that your husband is not invested in the marriage and does not respect you. His reactions to your concerns are childish, bullying and hateful.

    Men who deeply love their partners DO NOT act this way. So I think you need to face the fact that although you may be the easy, comfortable known quantity to whom he has some attachment, he does not love you.

    You have, until now, allowed the disrespect to continue (the habitual lying) for fear of being thought to be “controlling.” Well, you’ve taught him well that he can be freely disrespectful – and the fact that he slides so easily into that pattern of behavior is an insight into his underlying serious character defects.

    It’s very hard to admit that you’ve made such a fundamental mistake, but life will go on, and things will get better, once this toxic man is out of your life.

    And next time around, don’t be afraid to demand the kind of respect you deserve from any new men in your life. There’s a huge difference between being unreasonably controlling and standing up for being treated right. You need to learn the difference, and how to be an effective advocate for your own self-respect.  

     

    Post # 95
    Member
    1146 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    View original reply
    @trippy1:  I disagree that it should hurt to admit your part in the blame. The fact that you had a part in this means you have some power.

    Just as you chose this peice of crap of a man, you will be able to CHOOSE a great man in the future.

    Don’t beat yourself up, own it, and channel the feelings you have surrounding this into empowering yourself to learn from this and make better choices that will contribute to your own happiness.

    Post # 96
    Member
    1119 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    @trippy1:  I understand that I wasn’t born yesterday but he already knew how you felt about even going yet he still thought it was okay to get a lap dance

     

    Post # 98
    Member
    1146 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    View original reply
    @trippy1:  Yeah, I told my husband too, and he just got a shocked and disgusted look on his face and couldn’t even say anything for a while. Then he just said the guy sounds like a complete toolbag and is “shocked she still married him.”

    You are NOT overreacting,

    Post # 99
    Member
    449 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @trippy1:  total disrespect…I told my fiance that if he has strippers at his bachelors party I will NOT marry him..I will tellhis best man and all his friends..I dont care if theres no touching or not..I’m the same as you, I’m not ok with strippers because in my opinion it is a form of cheating…any other woman touching your man is wrong…anyways you need to sit him down…ask him how he would feel if you had other man around you touching you and stuff…see if his opinion changes..tell him how you feel and if he cant sit and listen and respect you than you cant be his wife…dont spend your life unhappy with a man that doesnt respect and love you enough that you are all he needs and the other women dont matter…good luck to you and I hope everything works out

    Post # 101
    Member
    1341 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    View original reply
    @trippy1:  Oh I am so sorry that this is happening to you!!  It sounds like you knew you shouldn’t have married him but you felt stuck.  That’s totally understandable.  But now, you have the chance to stop wasting your time.  This guy sounds SO selfish.  You “got him all to yourself” on your honeymoon?  Like it’s a reward to you?  Gross.

     

     

     

    If you did get an annulment, how would he react?

     

     

     

    I’d really, really consider it if I were you.  It sounds like the wedding was the last straw for you.  It’s unfortunate that you married him (not your fault) but you have a long life to lead and deserve someone who treats you like gold!!

    One last thing you deserve to know…  There are men out there that would never ever treat their wives like that.  There really are good men out there, I promise.

    Post # 103
    Member
    1744 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    @trippy1:  In the legal sense – yes, it is your house.  I do not know the dynamics of your day to day life – I’m just saying that if you at some base level feel that it is your house, then does he ever get a sense that is held over his head?

    And, yes if you annul/divorce it will be “your”house again.  But right now, you’re married and if the thinking is “yours” and “His” and not “ours” well, then, perhaps there are other issues as well.

    Maybe that response was quick and not carefully worded and doesn’t mean anything, but you asked about controlling behavior.  And that post may have given some hints.  I Dunno – the relationship is between the two of you, I’m but a stranger on the internet. However,  “allow” and “my” are words that set me off when I hear them from anyone – let alone the other half.

    Post # 104
    Member
    449 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    View original reply
    @trippy1:  yea your right…male and female strippers are a big difference. Sounds a little controlling…slow dancing doesnt even compare to lap dances…he needs a reality check and needs to realize that his wife is not happy and he could lose you if he doesnt grow up…in my opinion men who cant control themselves around other women are immature…I’m sorry your going through this and hope you guys can work things out

    Post # 105
    Member
    522 posts
    Busy bee

    I am so surprised you even married him. To be honest, I can’t see a marriage with a partner like that working out. It sounds like he blatantly disregarded/doesn’t care about you or anything related to your relationship.

    For your sake, I hope you get out and find someone who treats you as wonderfully as you deserve. 

    The topic ‘Hungover for the wedding’ is closed to new replies.

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