Post # 1
I have talked about drama with my Maid/Matron of Honor on here before. I didn’t get any feedback but I will try again.
She just told me that I’m way to indecisive and she doesn’t understand why I keep sending out ideas for the wedding and then keep changing my mind. She also doesn’t understand why I send it to all the girls instead of 1 or 2.
It’s MY freaking wedding! I’m indecisive on a normal basis. New things come out and I think they may go better with my theme. I ask my girls opinions because I want them to be involved. I don’t know if she just wants to be the only one who puts input in or what. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know what her problem is.
Things could be worse I could be a bridezilla demanding every little thing out of them and making them do everything for. Pisses me off and hurts more. One of my best friends for the last 20 years and she’s giving me crap! She had her day now let me have mine. I definitely was not like this when I was her MOH!
Post # 3
Sorry to hear your Maid/Matron of Honor is adding drama….most brides are already dealing with enough already.
I think you were being respectful to all your bridesmaids by asking their thoughts and opinons and I did the same thing. Is it because she is the Maid/Matron of Honor that she thinks she should know more/have more control than the others?
If she continues to act this way, I would just send my thoughts to the other bridesmaids and not her.
Post # 4
Is she maybe having wedding envy? Or thinking your wedding may be “better” then hers? I’m sorry your under stress. My sis had a lot of Bridesmaid or Best Man drama so that is why I have decided to not have any! Lol. Hope this all works out for you and the she will get her panties out of a bunch. 😉
Post # 5
@FutureMrsKoda: I think it is very nice that you are involving everyone in your decisions. I have been emailing all of my BMs, though no one hits reply-all so I get to filter all the responses (not that there is anything bad). I don’t see why she thinks its her place to tell you how many people you can email or how many times you can change your mind!
I would just tell her to back off or ignore her emails/comments about the negativity…
Post # 6
Clearly she’s never planned a wedding before. Indecision is the only constant variable in wedding planning! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve changed my mind about stuff, and I’m still not done. I’ve “definitely” been getting married at about six or seven different venues all over my state. I’ve “for sure” been planning to walk to down the aisle to about twenty different songs (changes every week). I’ve known beyond the shadow of a doubt what my wedding colors are going to be… It never ends! Honestly, I think I’m still going to be changing stuff on the day of the actual wedding!
I would maybe just refrain from voicing your ideas to the BMs from now on. When you finalize your decisions, then let them know what you’ve decided. That way, they won’t know what all you’ve changed your mind about, and can’t talk crap about you for doing so. My Fiance won’t even let me finish my sentences in regards to plans, anymore. Instead he just says, “I don’t even want to hear it because next week it’ll be something completely different!”
Post # 7
I haven’t talked to her about wedding plans in about 2 months. The only thing I was the most indecisive about was their dresses. And I’m still 2nd guessing myself, but I won’t change them, my sister already has hers.
The thing is she got married 4 years ago and I was her MOH! I never acted like she is. If I didn’t like something I kept my mouth shut. It was her wedding, her vision, not mine. My other girls said we know things will change and that’s fine, it’s your wedding, if you need to change things for your wedding to turn out right that’s fine. 1 bm is getting married 3 weeks before me and the other was married in April. They understand, they don’t care and they said if they did they wouldn’t tell me.
One of my bm told me to become a b**** and show her things could be worse lol. I’ve also had about 4 people tell me to make her just a bm or kick her out if this continues. 1 had her Maid/Matron of Honor who was like this and she said she had wished she had kicked out the drama. I’m to the point I would rather have my friend in CA my Maid/Matron of Honor even though she won’t be here until the day before the wedding.
I have a feeling our friendship will never be the same. Good thing we didn’t buy the house in her neighborhood lol.
Post # 8
Oh and thank you so much ladies for saying indecisiveness is ok. That makes me feel a lot better and not like I’m the only one 🙂 I knew I wasn’t but it is definitely nice to be reminded of it.
So glad I found this website.
Post # 9
I’m not really sure why you are trying to involve them in any decisions except maybe about their dresses and/or shoes. The rest of it should just be you and your Fiance or your Mom or coordinator. Most brides change their minds a million times before deciding on things, and I think its your prerogative.
What I think might make things harder and actually worse, is getting too many opinions about everything. That causes more indecisiveness than anything!
Post # 10
I was really only asking her opinion on dresses. She complained when I found another possibility and sent it out. I had found one I loved but she flat out refused to pay for it. Said “she was not going to waste her money”. Again I haven’t talked to her about any plans in about 2 months or more. She’s one of my best friends and I wanted her opinion. And I really only ask 1 or 2 of the other girls. I’m not asking all 6 of them.
She first brought this up 2 months ago, hence the reason I stopped talking to her about things. So I don’t know why she is bringing it up again. I’ve only made 3 “final” decisions. 1 she refused to pay for, thenI nixed another one because I found one that went better with my theme. It’s not like I’ve change their dresses 50 times.
Post # 11
“I don’t know what to do and I don’t know what her problem is.”
Post # 12
I’ve tried. She’s avoiding me.