- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
Two days ago was our 3 year anniversary and Fiance had been hinting at a proposal for the past 10 months. (I proposed to him when we got engaged) Well nothing happened. And when I say nothing I mean nothing. No card, no flowers, we split the bill at dinner for the first time in 2 years instead of one of us picking up the bill. Things have been rough for him recently and he doesn’t have a car (He totaled his car and his best friend died. Separate incidents). Add in the fact that we live on the far outskirts of town with poor public transportation access and I was trying not to get my hopes up very high. But I’m still a bit crushed. I was working out of town over the summer and before I left he told me on several occasions “I want you to be able to wear your real engagement ring for at least a year”. Since we were getting married on our 4th anniversary that would have been a year from 2 days ago. With his car getting totaled and the associated costs that came along with it, I knew my ring money flew out the window but I had still kind of hoped he would have still attempted something special.
And our wedding was pushed up due to a job offer across state lines. So that whole year thing was also out of the question. We went from having a year to plan a small gathering on his family farm to having 9 months to plan and no venue while I’m trying to finish my senior year at college taking 7 classes a semester with 3 of them at the graduate level. And working, did I mention working? And somehow he managed to bring up the need to change the date of the 12 hours into our 17 hour drive across the country last week.
And its all my fault. I proposed. I set the date the first time (well he wanted our anniversary and I wanted to not have class on my wedding day). I left home for an internship and got a job offer for once I’ve graduated. I’m the one who enrolled for classes. I could have just taken the standard technical electives instead of the grad level courses but they wouldn’t have helped me on the career path I want to pursue. And I’m the one who got her hopes up even though I knew in light of recent events that the chance of him following through with his proposal was non-existent.
I can’t really fault him for not putting a romantic proposal on the top of priorities list since we are already engaged and his life hasn’t been going so smoothly. But he is one of the least romantic people I have ever met and I had been so excited by the prospect of him actually putting something together. Then I went nearly 3 months without seeing him and… uh. I just really wanted this. And now that it’s the weekend I’ve had my first chance to unwind I’m just really upset. And I had to get this out before I talk to him. I have every right to feel the way I do but it is unfair to put extra pressure on him right now… I think.