- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
I get along great with FMIL. She is a really sweet, hardworking woman and she loves me. We have never had any issues whatsoever.
Despite her sweet nature, she’s a little out of touch with reality. Both of FI’s parents are doctors and the vast majority of their friends are doctors or lawyers or something similar. Everyone in their circle of friends is wealthy. FI’s parents are in no way flashy or showy about their wealth, but they have a lot of money.
My parents are well-off financially, but in no way compare to FI’s family. They both make low 6 figures. They’re also in the midst of selling their house to move into something smaller.
My parents have generously offered 20-25K to FI and I for our wedding. Honestly, it was more than I thought they would be able to give me and I am really happy and grateful for the amount of money they are willing to put towards our wedding.
Yesterday, FI’s mom called him to ask some questions about the guest list and all of that and the budget came up. He told his mom what my parents had agreed to put towards the wedding (she had already said she would give us up to 30K) and mentioned that with our savings of 10K, we’re looking at a 50-60K budget or so.
Now, to me (and to most people) that is a really, really good bduget – even for living in an expensive area of the country. Previously, I had thought our budget would be more around the 30-40K mark, so this seemed like a really good chunk of change.
Anyway, when FI told FMIL how much my parents were able to contribute, she said something like “Oh, I would have thought it would be more. I don’t think that’s really enough.”
When FI told me this, I got really angry. And hurt. I know that to her and FFIL, 20-25K isn’t a big deal, but to my parents it is. It’s the best they can do and it’s very, very generous, regardless of how much they can afford. She was going on and on about how a 50K wedding is AVERAGE and how our budget just isn’t going to cut it. FI said she doesn’t mean it to be snotty, she just has an unrealistic expectation of what things do and do not cost.
I know that we will be more than fine with our budget, but it just hurts my feelings that she thinks what my family has to offer isn’t good enough. I know I won’t say anything (except for to FI), but it hurts and it’s embarrassing. I don’t want my mom to feel like what she is giving us isn’t enough and I don’t want FMIL to act like our wedding isn’t good enough for her and her family. Ugh. Money.
I guess I don’t need much advice, I just wanted to see if anyone has dealt with something similar. Or if you think I should say anything to her?!