(Closed) Hurt & confused — But should I be?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
Member
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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@alto_treble:  I don’t see anything wrong with what 
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@mgnt: has suggested. Yes, it’s another lie but it will save his parent’s feeling like they have been lied to for a long time. It lessens the blow.

Post # 63
Member
3681 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

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@mgnt:  Why do you have to lie about visitng San Francisco?  It about the city, or do you have to pretend you’ve never been on vacaion together?

DH and I got engaged very quickly (together for only a matter of weeks at that point).  We kept it a secret for a year and a half because we knew everyone would be shocked.  Basically, the truth sounds like a story that even we would think was crazy.  He went out to Vegas to meet a girl he met on the internet in person and came back engaged.  

OP, it sounds to me like his parents’ conservatism has made him ashamed of your relationship.   He’s hurting your feelings to spare theirs.  What’s he going to do when he does tell them and they blow up or cut him off?  Will he blame you?  If his relationship with them is so fragile that they can’t handle respecting his life choices, I say to hell with them.    

Post # 65
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

ya… it had nothing to do with the city but we went on vacation together after a few months and apprently that wasn’t appropriate… so stupid but what started out as a little white lie is still continuing five years later!

 

 

Post # 66
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

strange, if my fi wanted me to lie, i would be upset to.

 

I would also be questioning if he’s putting his parents feelings before yours now, whats to say he doesn’t even when you’re married. men. pft! lol

Post # 67
Member
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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@alto_treble:  “Yeah, well, they probably see though this lie right now. So really, the only person he’s fooling with this is HIMSELF.” – Pretty much!

He’s in that place of still trying to be the young man they want him to be…but actually be the young man he wants to be. 

He’s got to come out on the other side sooner or later for everyone’s sake. 

Post # 68
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee

OH gosh.I couldn’t do that. You are living a lie. “Let the lying lips be put to silence Psalms 31:18. Your man seems concerned about pleasing his parents and being someone who he is not.Why? Does he secretly share their beliefs or does he just not want the drama. You are in a relationship, purchased a house together, and are getting married. You have 8 more months of this.You either come clean OR live like this for 8 months. Your choice hon. Good luck x

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