Post # 1
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
Hello All!
I hope to at least find someone who has gone through the same thing I am currently. Or some good advice, at the very least. I am oringally from out of state from where I live now. My Fiancee’s family lives close but my family lives a good 7 hours away. We decided, after a long point of talking and planning to have it in my home state.
However, there are now bitter feelings.
His step mom thinks we should have it here. And she feels like her family is being left out. My fiancee’s father is supportive all the way. We already mentioned having a party of sorts when we got back wtih the family that was unable to travel.
I guess my issue is that all my friends and family are more gung-ho about it than his. (Other than his dad and brother) And I feel like his step mom should be more supportive. One reason we decided to have it in PA is because my family and friends have been more help and supportive and feel like I will get the most help there. And plus a lot of venue connections.
So what do I do? Is there a way to make his bitter step mom more involved? Does she need to get over it?
-Bewildered Bride
Post # 2
Member
1191 posts
Bumble bee
As long as you and your fiancé are ok with your decision, the hell with everyone else.
Post # 3
Member
6952 posts
Busy Beekeeper
I mean…you and your Fiance live by his family. So it makes sense that you’re having your wedding by yours. His family gets you the rest of the year!
Post # 4
Member
1594 posts
Bumble bee
It’s also very traditional for the bride’s family to host the wedding in their hometown. I don’t really see what there is to be upset about.
Post # 5
Member
4808 posts
Honey bee
Amy Rader : Have the wedding in your home state and please don’t give a moment’s thought to anyone rude enough to complain.
Post # 6
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
I don’t understand this at all! It can’t be in both places, so no matter what it will be a trip for SOMEONE.
You can certainly try to involve her in some decisions like flowers or decor, but she seems like the kind of person who would give advice and then be upset when you did something different. I say that you should just do whatever makes you happy!
Post # 7
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: June 2016 - Charleston, SC
Amy Rader : I don’t really have much advice than go with what makes YOU happy and what YOU AND YOUR Fiance decide. Stop paying attention to his step mother; no matter what, someone won’t be happy.
I had a similar story, and because I let what was easier for my in-laws to take control of my decisions, my own grandparents couldn’t be there. I 100% wish I had put less thought into making other people’s lives easy and really thought about what my priorities were (family). Them not being there for that day is my biggest regret ever.
Post # 8
Member
2174 posts
Buzzing bee
It’s very traditional to get married in the bride’s hometown. I would just try to ignore his stepmom’s comments.
The only case in which I’d think you should change the location is if the groom’s parents are footing the majority of the bill.
Post # 9
Member
2071 posts
Buzzing bee
I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong. The only thing I would say is that expecting your Future Mother-In-Law to feel or behave a certain way (“she should be more supportive,” etc.) will only frustrate you. Maybe she should be more supportive, but she’s not. Take her as she is and involve her in planning if you think it would help and if it doesn’t drive you crazy. Otherwise, carry on planning your wedding.
Post # 10
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
We’re getting married in my hometown which is a short flight away for everyone. Some people will feel a little put out (including FMIL) but most will understand that my family have to travel to see me, so this one time the other side will have to travel.
It’s completely reasonable and don’t let her give you any grief for it, yes, she will just have to get over it!
Post # 11
Member
2369 posts
Buzzing bee
Who is “hurt”? Seems like she is saying they are hurt when they really just want their own way. They don’t want to expend any effort to travel. Since they are not that gung ho, the other side takes precedence.