(Closed) Hurt Feelings and an Out of State Wedding

posted 4 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
1191 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

As long as you and your fiancé are ok with your decision, the hell with everyone else.  

Post # 3
6952 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

I mean…you and your Fiance live by his family. So it makes sense that you’re having your wedding by yours. His family gets you the rest of the year!

Post # 4
1594 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

It’s also very traditional for the bride’s family to host the wedding in their hometown. I don’t really see what there is to be upset about.

Post # 5
4808 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
Amy Rader :  Have the wedding in your home state and please don’t give a moment’s thought to anyone rude enough to complain.  

Post # 6
283 posts
Helper bee

I don’t understand this at all! It can’t be in both places, so no matter what it will be a trip for SOMEONE. 

You can certainly try to involve her in some decisions like flowers or decor, but she seems like the kind of person who would give advice and then be upset when you did something different. I say that you should just do whatever makes you happy!

Post # 7
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Charleston, SC

View original reply
Amy Rader :  I don’t really have much advice than go with what makes YOU happy and what YOU AND YOUR Fiance decide. Stop paying attention to his step mother; no matter what, someone won’t be happy.

I had a similar story, and because I let what was easier for my in-laws to take control of my decisions, my own grandparents couldn’t be there. I 100% wish I had put less thought into making other people’s lives easy and really thought about what my priorities were (family). Them not being there for that day is my biggest regret ever. 

Post # 8
2174 posts
Buzzing bee

It’s very traditional to get married in the bride’s hometown. I would just try to ignore his stepmom’s comments.

The only case in which I’d think you should change the location is if the groom’s parents are footing the majority of the bill.

Post # 9
2071 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong. The only thing I would say is that expecting your Future Mother-In-Law to feel or behave a certain way (“she should be more supportive,” etc.) will only frustrate you. Maybe she should be more supportive, but she’s not. Take her as she is and involve her in planning if you think it would help and if it doesn’t drive you crazy. Otherwise, carry on planning your wedding.

Post # 10
739 posts
Busy bee

We’re getting married in my hometown which is a short flight away for everyone.  Some people will feel a little put out (including FMIL) but most will understand that my family have to travel to see me, so this one time the other side will have to travel.


It’s completely reasonable and don’t let her give you any grief for it, yes, she will just have to get over it!

Post # 11
2369 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

Who is “hurt”? Seems like she is  saying they are hurt when they really just want their own way. They don’t want to expend any effort to travel. Since they are not that gung ho, the other side takes precedence.

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