Post # 1
My boyfriend and I have been together almost 7 years and we have a great relationship. He’s never given me doubt to distrust him and makes me happy, but last night I couldn’t help but feel so hurt to noticed that he had liked someone’s bikini photo. This wasn’t just a model either, this was his old friend’s girlfriend whom we all hung out with in California when we vacationed and visited them. Normally my boyfriend doesn’t really do much on social media so to see it pop up in my feed “John Smith Likes this Photo” with her in a bikini modeling felt like a stab to my heart. He rarely ever likes photos and he never even likes photos of other girls even within our main circle or even his friend’s. He said he was just going through his feed and liking a bunch of pictures but I feel like it had to mean something for him to like her photo, and now it’ll be awkward if we ever go to their state and visit and hang out again.
He did this once a few years ago of some model dancing around shaking her butt in a bikini where it popped up. So this only happened twice in a span of 7 years. I told him I don’t want to see him “like” other girls at that time so he should know it hurts me. I don’t want it publicized, I’m not stupid we all look at other people but I don’t want it in my face on the internet. Last night he told me he didn’t think liking a photo would hurt me…I feel like if I had gone and liked a very muscular and attractive guy that we both hung out with before and it popped up in his feed, he probably wouldn’t like that feeling. As I said, I told him a few years ago I don’t want to see that publicized in my face.
I am just wondering, does anyone else feel how I do? Funny thing is, I don’t mind him going to strip clubs as long as there are no lap dances but for some reason this hurt my feelings. Maybe because I just know he rarely likes photos but he went out of his way to like hers when he saw it. I just felt worse sleeping next to him so I went in another bed to cool down my thoughts, I know he was sorry because he followed me in to the next room and held me. I know he’s not bad but I don’t know why it hurt me so much.
Post # 2
Honestly I can’t relate to this at all, I find it completely bizarre that you are fine with him going to strip clubs but you slept in another room because he “liked” a photo of basically a mutual friend.
Anyway, I think it does seem legit that he didn’t think this would hurt you and that he didn’t remember you telling him 4 years ago not to like photos of other girls.
Post # 3
Personally, I think you are overreacting. He liked a picture of someone he knows. In no way would I take that to mean he thinks that chick is so much hotter than his girlfriend. And it doesn’t sound like he went out of his way to like the picture. It’s not an old one he had to go find, it popped up on his home page that’s not going out of your way. And he probably wasn’t even thinking about a comment you made years ago about not wanting him to like other girls’ pictires. It sounds like you are very insecure and this really seems like more of a you issue than a him issue.
My best friend also has issues with self-esteem/insecurity and had similar problems with her husband except he was liking other women’s photos frequently. They were constantly having arguments about it. Eventually they both just deleted social media altogether. But this doesn’t sound like a repeated problem for you so I would just accept his apology, move on, and work on building some self-confidence.
Post # 4
I think you’re allowing your insecurities to read more into something than what is possibly there.
Couldnt it just be as simple as:
”Oh look, Lucy took a beach vacation. That’s nice for her.” *like*
”Omg that Lucy is so freaking hot I wish I could see what it’s like to be with her. Maybe if I just like this photo she’ll know I’m interested and my sewer troll girlfriend will be none the wiser!” *like*
Please note, I’m not actually calling you a sewer troll but this seems like your imaginations thought process.
Post # 5
This is how social media destroys relationships.
Post # 6
slomotion : My friend once went a bit mad at me for liking her ex boyfriends picture, it was literally a picture of the him and some people on the beach and I was like “damn the beach looks nice”. She really did not like it. In her mind I was picking his side somehow?! Ugh, people.
Post # 7
I agree with others. How is it possible you are “okay” with your bf going to strip clubs, as long as there are no lap dances which by the way, how would you know that?
But him ‘liking’ an innocent picture of a friend isn’t OK?
This strikes me as really controlling and really insecure.
And once that boundary of him going to strip clubs was allowed, you opened yourself up for every other allowance a man may have.
Post # 8
This is so nothing to get your panties in a wad about. There’s either more you aren’t telling us, or you are WAY overreacting.
Post # 9
Mlim : I’m sorry you feel this way. I think there must be something deeper going on here. Does your boyfriend post pictures of you on social media? Does he like pictures that you post? It sounds like there is more to the story.
Post # 10
I once found that my husband would joke with his friends on a forum about girls they would “wife”, etc. they were generally models and porn stars. It hurt me deeply, because even though I trusted him, it felt disrespectful and to have mutual friends know he talks like that was icky. Now I know a lot of guys in solid relationships who will follow IG models and like skanky pics, and their SO’s don’t seem to mind, but it’s just not for me. I would probably just say look if you must, but don’t disrespect me in front of our friends and family by liking stuff like that, and I will do the same and not like pics of cute guys I see.
Post # 11
The funny thing is, I’ve seen a post/poll about this long ago and it seemed many of the bees agreed it was disrespectful to like another women’s photos that are sexual publically that is in your face but when I post of an issue that I have I am seen as overreacting and that it’s odd. There isn’t any underlying issue. No, he doesn’t like my photos because he usually doesn’t go on social media that much. I find it odd that he would like a bikini photo of a girl modeling and never liking any of the girls within our groups photos, his friends photos, etc. I just find it our of character I suppose.
Post # 12
Sometimes we can’t control how we feel but we can control how we react to those feelings. From what you said in your post, it seems he didn’t mean to hurt you and was sorry he made you feel that way. If you know your relationship is stable than there is really isn’t a reason to make a big deal out of it
Post # 14
Mlim : Okay, but how is a picture of a chick in a swimeear (I presume at a beach/lake/pool) sexual?
I mean, I could perhaps understand it being sexual if she was like on a couch, spread eagle with her labia hanging out the side of her bikini bottom.
Post # 15
- Wedding: October 2020 - Hopetoun House, UK
Mlim : Finding it out of character is an acceptible reason to worry, but i feel like you are just being paranoid.
If you trust him in any other instance it shouldnt be a cause of concern… even if it is his ex gf, she is an EX for a reason and your the one still with him 7 years later ❤️ Don’t let a post hurt you, and if it still bothers you I would speak to him, I’m sure he will let you know he meant nothing by it x