Hurt feelings over social media and photo

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I feel you, on this.  My husband does not comment, or like, other girl’s pictures on Facebook.  It’s just the way he is, so if he liked a bikini pic. on Facebook, I would have a weird gut reaction, too. 

Post # 32
3994 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

slomotion :  I don’t want to live in this world any more. 

I’m off to practice my “sex” stare… 

OP, you know when that girl posted that photo, she did it with the express intent of ruining your relationship, and stealing your man, right? You’d better hold on to him even tighter. Block her immediatetly. Its the only way to keep him safe in your clutches… 

Post # 33
483 posts
Helper bee

slomotion :  geez you have been on a role lately…a hilarious role 🤣

Post # 34
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2006

Mlim :  Over-reacting. I feel bad for the guy in this situation.

Post # 35
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think I know the post the OP is referring to when she says that poster got different advice. In that post, the boyfriend didn’t treat his girlfriend that well, and made a habit of making suggestive comments to his female friends on social media. That seems drastically different from the situation described here and that is likely why the advice was so different.

Post # 36
2253 posts
Buzzing bee

ladyvk :  It’s not social media, it’s insecurity.

If it wasn’t liking her photo online, it would be how he greeted her in person.

Post # 37
6771 posts
Busy Beekeeper


Post # 38
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Mlim :  What stands out to me is that thiis is your boyfriends gf. This is not some ex gf of your boyfriend. She is in a relationship with your SO’s friend!

And…. the biggest thing is that you say it’ll be awkward now if you guys ever go to their state and hang out again?!? Really???? Over a LIKE ON A PICTURE???? That seems really over dramatic!!!!! 

Post # 39
637 posts
Busy bee

Are there other things that have gone on that have leas you to feel this way about him liking the photo? Has he been unfaithful to other girls before you? Or to you? Is there suspicious stuff going on? I ask because it’s a big part to the reaction. For instance I had a horrible ex. Abusive manipulative sociopath. And I knew he’d cheated on past gfs and an ex wife. (Yes I know I sound stupid for being with him but sociopaths can brainwash like no other) So anyway if he did that I would have awful anxiety because if he did it it would’ve meant something. Either something was about to go on, had gone on, or he was using triangulation to manipulate me. I’m NOT saying your SO is like him. At all. What I’m saying is it’s about trust. I had no trust in him after awhile when he had proven that trusting him was stupid. So it’d have hit me hard. BUT now With my FH I have absolute and complete trust in him. So I’d think it was weird because he barely uses fb but it would not hurt me or make me uneasy. So it all boils down to trust. 

Post # 40
589 posts
Busy bee

One of my best male friends has lost a lot of weight….like A LOT of weight. He posted a photo recently at the beach. I liked the photo and even posted ‘wit woo. Looking good ;-)’

Later that evening my fiancé was on his Facebook and said ‘holy shit, he’s lost so much weight. Good on him’

He saw my comment, did he care? No. Does he think that means I’m planning an escape into the sunset? No. 

Post # 41
4549 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

pearl311 :  Do you mean on a roll? On a ‘role’ isn’t a thing 🙂

OP, I echo 90% of everyone here in saying this is not a huge deal. You cannot possibly know his motivation in liking the pic, and I would choose (given this is an isolated event) to trust that it was not for the ‘wrong’ reasons. 

Post # 42
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

…I think it’s an overreaction. However, you are correct in that everyone has their own boundaries.

So, if you and him had a boundary of no liking girls on Facebook and it was communicated/agreed then, sure, you’re allowed to feel that boundary was crossed.

But, in any event, the question still comes down both either are on the same page about the boundary or you aren’t. It sounds like you aren’t. Likewise, you can label almost anything a boundary but that doesn’t mean your expectations are healthy. So, you can either go to counseling and try to work on a compromise, work on the root issues which sound like insecurities in counseling, or you can accept you both have different expectations in a relationship and it’s not viable.

Personally, I think you’re channeling some other issues into it and it would be better to work on that but you do you. Your partner is an adult so he is capable of also deciding if this isn’t right for him or if he’s fine with his likes being controlled.

Post # 43
13683 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with PPs that it’s an overreaction.  He probably innocently likde the photo and didn’t think it would upset you.  However, you are entitled to your feelings and you’ve told him that it hurt you.  Hopefully that’s the end of it.

It seems to me like you have some insecurities, whether it’s with your relationship or your appearance, but that would be where I would focus my energy — on building up my confidence so I didn’t get upset when my significant other liked a photo on social media.

Post # 44
483 posts
Helper bee

Olivepepper :  hehe yes you are absolutely right. How embarrassing 😂

Post # 45
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

fwiw I don’t think you’re overreacting at all.  however “irrational” it may seem in the larger context of life, this is something that would deeply bother me also.  as you’ve explained, he’s not especially active on social media, this looks like he’s giving another girl (even worse, someone you know) special attention.  don’t feel guilty for feeling your feelings.  I think the way you expressed your pain to him was mature and honest and it sounds like you still have a good guy on your hands from the remorse he displayed after the fact.  be patient with him, it probably was innocent, and I’m sure he’ll avoid making this mistake in the future.

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