- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
Oyyyyyyyy. In a pickle!
Two friends of mine flew halfway across the world for my wedding. One on a 10 hour flight — let’s call her T. The other (“A”) on a longer flight. Girl A is my bridesmaid.
T and I were friends in college, and lost touch for some years. We reconnected via Facebook. When it came time to pick my wedding guest list, she wasn’t top of mind, because we didn’t have regular contact. I invited her to my reception, thinking she wouldn’t fly halfway across the world for a reception. As it turns out, she’s in between jobs, and said she would be coming. Then, I felt bad and invited her for my wedding too.
For Girl A, my bridesmaid, she was obviously invited to both my wedding and reception from the get-go. I paid for her 2 week stay in a really nice studio apartment, in a nice part of town. I found the place for her. I also picked her up from the airport.
For T, she paid for her own room in a house in a not so nice part of town. She found the place herself. She took a shuttle from the airport to her place, and was planning to take a shuttle back to the airport to get home.
T seems really hurt about a few things. She asked me why she was invited so late to the wedding. She asked me directly why I didn’t help her find her place. She found out today that Girl A didn’t pay for her place, that I paid for her. T also asked my husband why she wasn’t invited to the wedding.
I haven’t been able to give her very good answers, and I’m not sure what I should do. While I know that I probably didn’t handle the situation very well, I’m honestly surprised that T is asking me these questions so directly. I don’t know whether to spend 1-1 time with T, when Girl A — my bridesmaid — is headed home in 5 days (we haven’t seen each other for 7 years- Girl A and me and she is like my sister).
Husband and I figured out that we should try to drop T off at the airport (which conflicts w/ a lunch invitation, btw), but I’m not sure what I should say or do that will make her feel better.
What I’ve said so far — that I was unorganized getting the wedding invitations out (this isn’t true) and that’s why hers arrived late (I later realized that I never sent her one, but just the link to our wedding website), that I *had* helped her find a place, since I scouted out where she would be living (this is true), and that I couldn’t do more because it was so close to the wedding time when she confirmed she would be coming (this is true).