(Closed) Hurt Little Sister of the Bride

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should bride's 14 yr old sister who suffers from severe social anxiety be permitted to bring guest?
    Yes, because she's the sister of the bride. : (93 votes)
    33 %
    Yes-because she's an immediate family member & her dad is paying for the wedding. : (105 votes)
    37 %
    No- because the bride said NO. : (86 votes)
    30 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4336 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Yes, because the brother who is your same age is bringing a guest.

    ETA: Is if possible that she doesn’t want you to bring a  guest because she knows she doesn’t LIKE whoever it will be that you will bring? Not that that is an excusable reaason to only allow some people to bring guests and not others, but it might be helpful to understand possible reasons why she doesnt want to let you bring a guest.

    Post # 4
    Member
    214 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I voted no, I hope I don’t come across mean, especially since you are so young. But you have to understand this is not a party, it is the biggest day in your sister’s life. Perhaps that is why she can’t see your point of view. You have to respect her wishes, however hard that is for you.

    If your dad did not think your anxiety was enough of a reason to permit you to bring a guest, try not to stress about it. Focus on enjoying the day with your family and loved ones. If you are close to your brothers/cousins etc, stay close to them. I am sure that they will be help you through the reception.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    2869 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Aww.  I feel like she should let you bring a guest… especially if your brothers are.  Is there any way you can discuss it with her directly and explain why it is so important to you? 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1077 posts
    Bumble bee

    Are you from a mixed family? I only ask because you refer to brothers as “her brothers”, as though they aren’t your own. Are you technically step or half sisters?

    I’m sorry that this is so stressful for you, family stuff is hard. I would just try to hang out with family (like cousins or something) who will be there that you get along with. Getting married can be really stressful for a lot of people and it probably just isn’t the best time to bring up your feelings. I would wait until after the wedding and talk to your dad or mom about it again. Just try to remember that even if it’s hard it’s only one day!

    This is a big day for your sister and she probably isn’t even considering that not getting to invite a guest hurt your feelings. She may have only said no because they’ve already given their vendors a head count, and some venues will charge extra if more than that show up.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2401 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Let me just start by saying that I hated my little sister for YEARS. And then it got much, much better once both of us were adults. If your sister is still on the younger side (say, under 22) then maybe she isn’t ready to have a more friendly relationship with you. It sucks, but I know a lot of sisters who become friends later in life. Also, brides are crazy. And two weeks out from her wedding means that her crazy side has probably doubled, if not tripled.  

    Are you in her bridal party (as in a bridesmaid or junior bridesmaid)? If so, you will most likely sit at the head table at the reception and your friend will be alone the whole time. As for your brothers, are these girlfriends they are getting to bring? While I think 14 is a silly age to let a boy or girl bring a date to a wedding, your sister may disagree and want to include his date. 

    If none of these are true, I would ask her straight out why she wont let you bring a guest. It may be because she planned only a certain number of seats at your table and now, this late in the game, she cant add any more or you’d have to sit by yourself with some aunt you didn’t like if you added on another seat. Her caterer may say that she’s stuck at a number. There are a ton of reasons why adding a guest so late is impossible to do. 

    Hope things get better for you. Just remember that it is one night and you can always bring a book to read in the lobby! 🙂 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1755 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @justaskin:  While I can understand that you feel hurt, weddings cost a lot of money and each guest makes things more expensive.  I’m assuming your brothers’ guests are girls they’ve been dating for a while.  So I can understand your sister’s reasoning and it’s probably not meant to be mean.  What you might do, is ask if you might be allowed a guest if there are very many declined invitations, sometimes a a couple can allow an extra guest if there is an opening.  But if there isn’t, try to be happy for your sister, enjoy talking to relatives you know and care about, and in ten years whe you get married, you can seat her next to someone really boring 😉

    Post # 11
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    If your sister is getting married in two weeks, even if she did want to let you to bring a guest, it is unlikely that she would be able to. Final numbers for catering usually have to be in by this point and so if she added your friend, they would have nothing to eat!

    Also, it sounds like you need to have a talk with your sister. It is extremely unlikely that your sister “doesn’t like you.” I have a younger sister who felt this way and it couldn’t be farther from the truth. We have since talked about it and now we have a wonderful relationship. Weddings are all about starting a new life, maybe you could make yourself a part of that?

    Also, maybe she let your brothers bring guests because they are dating someone and you are not? Maybe they aren’t as close to people at the wedding as you are? (You refered to them as her brothers, not our brothers, makes me think that they are not related to you?) Maybe they asked a lot earlier in the planning process so she was able to accomidate them? There are a lot of factors here, I doubt she’s picking on you.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2869 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @justaskin:  Good.  Just make a polite appearance and then try to keep yourself entertained.  It’s only a few hours.  I’m really sorry your stepSISTER treats you that way though.  I wish you could discuss it with her but I’d bet that two weeks before the wedding she doesn’t have the patience to do that.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1077 posts
    Bumble bee

    @loving_life:  +1

    Unfortunately OP due to your age you need to be careful not to come off as a sulking teenager in this situation. Just play it cool, acting in a way that is beyond reproach will really help you make your case with your dad afterwards. 

    My sister and I used to fight like cats and dogs, but things got a lot better! We’re very close now. I think it’s just something sisters go through. I’m from a mixed family too, and that dynamic can make things weird and make siblings sort of turn on each other. It’s sad but luckily people tend to get over it eventually. Please feel free to private message me on here if you need to vent, I’ve totally been there! 🙂

    The topic ‘Hurt Little Sister of the Bride’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors