(Closed) hurt, mad, bad choice … I really need prayer

posted 7 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m so sorry you are in physical pain. I will pray for you, also in that regard.

As far as Fiance family, after you talk to him, how does he respond to you?

Post # 4
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sorry for what you’re going through.  I understand the depression thing, as well as the physical pain thing a little, I went through something similar a few years ago.  And it really does color how you see everything else and makes it easier to get upset over things that you wouldn’t as much if you weren’t in pain.  

I just read in a book, a priest said to someone who asked how she should handle people she feels hatred for.  The priest said to try and find three positive things about each person and keep reminding yourself of them.  I tried doing this with someone in my family that I find really hard work and I still haven’t thought of three things!! But generally speaking for most people, they do have a lot of positive qualities, it’s just hard to see them when you’re feeling mad at them. Just try and keep reminding yourself of their good points, and it’s not like you have to be their best friends or even spend that much time with them.  Maybe also try talking to FH when you’re feeling calm and not emotional, and just ask whether his sister is having problems with her phone and you were wondering why she didn’t respond to your message.  I doubt it’s anything personal, she may have just forgot but if it’s bothering you then definitely talk to FH about it. Even if you say something like ‘I know I’m being kind of dumb about this, but I’m feeling insecure about how your family treats me sometimes’ and hopefully he’ll give you reassurance. (by the way, i don’t think you’re being dumb but sometimes that’s a good way to phrase something to someone else!) good luck!!

Post # 5
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am sorry for your pain!  The thing I have learned about prayer is that He does have a plan, he may pile things up so high you think you can’t get out.  He is listening and He will help.  In the words of one of my favorite songs, “hold on, change is comin.”  I think it might help if you don’t think about living the rest of your life in pain and just take it day by day.  Thinking of being in pain for the rest of your life will burden you.

I’m not sure what advice to give about your FH’s family.  I know my FI’s family isn’t as excited about the wedding as I am either.

Post # 7
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’ll be sure to keep you in my prayers.  I’ll not only pray for your physical health, but for you in general.  I know what it’s like to constantly reach out to people and be rejected time after time.  It’s not a good feeling at all, but we are the type of people with big enough hearts to continually forgive people, so we keep trying.  Things will get better for you, I’m sure of it.

Post # 8
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@SimplyChic11: Thank goodness he is supportive!

No longer try to involve these people if this is the reaction they want to give you. It is sapping your mental energy and you need all the energy you can get right now. If they have reason for disliking you, you are not a mind reader and I hope fiance gets some answers for you, one day. As for right now, just expect them to show up at the wedding and nothing more. You have every reason to try to involve them but it seems they have no interest for whatever reason. You also have every reason to discuss it with your fiance so don’t feel badly about that either.  Do not let them sap you of your emotional strength and energy. (And big hugs!)

Post # 9
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

If I lived near you I would love to meet up and give you a shoulder to cry on, a person to be vulnerable with, and lay hands on you with prayer. Im so sorry you are not only in pain physically but emotionally and spiritually as well. 

Please definitely tell your teachers and any classmates you are friends with etc. God forbid your doctors are missing something and you do get into trouble, they will have no clue what to do or how serious it is.

I’m sorry that you have prayed to God but don’t feel an immediate healing. God is not quite the genie in a bottle type, his plan for you is more vast and deep than you can ever imagine! He knows how many hairs you have on your head and all of you thoughts and desires. Pleaes PM me if you want me to pray for some specific things and also where you can connect to some other great sources of prayer, wisdom and encouragement.

It is heartbreaking when you love someone and their loved ones don’t connect with you. I am sorry you have to be in the middle of a horrible mess that leads you to say things you don’t mean and add to tons of emotional baggage.

Just know that you are in the middle of a storm but the clouds are clearing ahead. You will look back at yourself 5 years, and the problems you are struggling with today will be like a spec of dust in the continuum of your beautiful life.

Post # 10
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am praying for you. 🙂 I’m sorry you are hurting. I think you can genuinely support Fiance in his relationships with his family simply because you love him and want him to be happy. Find the love for them in the way they support your Fiance.

If they include you, too, that is great, but perhaps try not to expect it if they have been slow to do so in the past, if at all. Maybe it is indeed his brother’s wedding so soon that is a huge distraction to them now. If you can’t get close to his whole family, maybe you can find one family member that is the likeliest candidate to get to know better.

If that still won’t work, here’s a great phrase: “Don’t shop for kiwis in a shoe store.” You are expecting inclusion from his family, as well you should, but they are not giving it to you in the form you seek. So be happy with what you do have, be cordial to them at family gatherings and get involved in something separate that you love to do.

Post # 12
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’m definitely praying for you, dear girl. In terms of the complications with FI’s family, there’s no easy solution. My best advice is to just keep being a loving fiancee and a positive person toward your FI’s family. I have no idea why they aren’t acting warm to you as they should, but you can at least try to be the “bigger person” so to speak, and maybe they will come around thanks to your efforts. If not, a conversation may be in order with your Fiance. Because while his family is very important, you are about to be his wife. You will become his primary family. And he needs to support you and defend you and help encourage his family’s inclusion of you.

Post # 13
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I will pray for you! I understand that it can be hard when you are constantly praying for healing.  My daughter has special needs and we are always praying for her.  I know that God will heal her but it will be in His time, not mine.  Try to stay positive and whenver you have doubt and a hard day look up because God is there watching over you.  🙂

Post # 14
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

You are in my prayers girl! Just keep your head up, the Lord has a plan for you, if you just trust him and have faith he will lead you to strength and ultimate happiness. The bible says that the Lord wants us to be joyful  –  being happy even when things arent so great. Remember that!

Post # 15
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

The work of Jesus is the revelation of your value… When you celebrate God the world changes. Celebrate the work of Jesus in your life. Put your attention on what God has done, rather than on what He hasn’t. Choose to celebrate that God is a healer, a restorer, & that Jesus is savior.

Post # 16
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@SimplyChic11: I’ll pray for you, though I strongly encourage you to seek fellowship among your peers. FI’s pastor just did a three week series on healing. I’ll try to get the notes from Future Sister-In-Law. I have one of the audio cd’s and Future Mother-In-Law has the other two. I could try to make copies and send them to you? They are very powerful, and I think you should hear them.

And I’m sorry your feelings have been hurt by FI’s family. I’m glad he’s been supportive to you though. I can only hope that they will change in the coming years. Good luck.

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