- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
To give you a background, I was raised Catholic and he non denominational Christian. When we met, we wanted to find a church we both liked, so we ultiimately ended up going to a Presbytarian church. We have asked the Presby pastor to be our officiant.
However, because I was raised Catholic, because it’s extremely important to my family, because I am extremely family oriented, and I believe, and it IS an important part of who I am and my upbringing, I wanted to have a Catholic priest present to give us a nuptial blessing at the end of the ceremony. It’s just something that I really want, it’s very important to me.
I really wanted Fiance to be supportive, but he’s not. He doesn’t understand why it’s necessary, doesn’t want some “man” there who he’s never met say a blessing, he doesn’t believe in it, he’s never seen 2 different officiants and he’s been to 40 weddings, blah blah blahblahblah. All I heard was ME ME ME ME ME, I I I I I. Not even taking into consideration that I’m crying here, trying to put into words WHY I want this.
For the reasons listed above (my background, my family, etc) were not a good enough reason for him. I’m not sure what more to say.
I guess I’m hurt because I’m not asking him to convert. I’m not asking him to change his strong beliefs. I’m not taking anything away from our pastor (he’d still do the vows and sermon). All I am asking is for him to be supportive of something that is VERY important to me! I feel really hurt and angry that the reasons why it’s important isn’t good enough for him, and that he’s kicking and screaming about this because HE sees no value in this.
He said we can talk about it some more, but I’m troubled that he’s putting up such a fight about something so small but important to me. Not sure what to do.
There are men out there who convert for their women, who give up important ceremonial aspects, who have completely separate ceremonies for cultural reasons, etc etc but he doesn’t want me to have a priest there. It really, seriously makes me wonder how much he really wants to marry me!