- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
Here’s another update since my last post: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/hurtful-ffil-update
Future Father-In-Law finally responded to our e-mail about three days later saying, “Wow, I didn’t realize this was so important to you guys. You should have a nice day, but there’s limits.”
OK…yup, we get that. But he still didn’t answer our questions about what he wants/can pay for and what these limits are.
So, Fiance sent off another e-mail saying basically that and then the next day we got a phone call from Future Father-In-Law.
Anyway, so here’s the story. Future Father-In-Law may be losing his job in a month and while he has back-up job options, they are nothing near what he makes a year currently and he doesn’t want to make less. These jobs are about $49,000 less a year than he makes. He doesn’t want early retirement because he’d lose a good chunk of his pension. So, there’s that. Then, he said he’s completely blown through his money. FI’s late Mom’s insurance money ($100,000) is gone, investments have been sold, savings dipped into and nearly gone, etc., because he’s been spending thousands and thousands of dollars for the past year on various girlfriends and with his present girlfriend, he’s paid for her new car, a $20,000 cruise trip, down payment on her plastic surgery, $300.00 steak dinners, etc. And they want to get a boat and a second house…how, I don’t know!
We’re shocked and had no response. He wants to let us know by June if he can pay for the venue, but we have to decide in two weeks and we’re going with it if he gives us money or not (we have the money either way), my parents will help, so if he gives us money, it would be a reimbursement. He also says he may only be able to give us a couple $100.00s, which is also fine. But…not to be cold, but we need to know. He wants us to wait for all expenditures until January 2013 for our March 2013 wedding and that just won’t work. Some things can wait until then, but reserving our venues can’t. Fiance will be calling him on Monday to see what he says then.
We are flabbergasted by this. He’s plowed through so much money with various women, but would refuse to lend his older son $300.00 to cover his rent one month. So, now I feel this is turning into his money problems, when he shouldn’t have offered to pay to begin with! I’m sorry, but I can’t feel sorry for him. Plus, his idea of being “broke” would still be lavish living for some and a $40,000 a year job, while much lower then he’s making now, would be a dream come true for other people. A 55-year-old man shouldn’t complain about that! And if helping out in any way will be a hardship for him, we don’t want his money! But, even with this new info, Fiance doesn’t want to tell his Dad this.
Anyway, that’s where we’re at and I feel no better. I may be coming across as callous and uncaring, but he’s been such a jerk to us, and not just with the wedding, but with everything in our lives, so I have a hard time feeling sympathy.