(Closed) hurting bee

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t have any advice just sending you huge ((HUGS))  I am so sorry.   I hope that the two of you can refind eachother in time.

Post # 4
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

It’s never easy and what’s meant to be will be. ((HUGS)). A man I adored and I stopped seeing eachother… I was broken. I was head over heals and loved him very much. Than I met my Fiance and life is better than before. Everything happens for a reason… he may end up being the one or fate may have other plans 🙂

Post # 6
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It kind of depends on why you two are taking a break in the first place….I would just say that you shouldn’t really ‘plan’ anything, and just go there and kind of read his energy and body language and whatever happens happens. If you feel that both of you want to kiss each other, then kiss each other. But if you feel like you want to and he doesn’t, then don’t. I would be nervous and thinking about it too if I were in your position, but ultimately you shouldn’t force anything and should just let it happen naturally, you will know what to do and say.

Post # 8
Member
1448 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Sorry to hear about your breakup; breakups can be so difficult!

I wouldn’t worry too much about being friends right off the bat; right now it’s more important to take care of you and what you need.  Maybe make some plans to get your hair or nails done, or take a community college class in something fun.  Maybe schedule that doctor or dentist appointment that you might have been putting off.

Good luck with your meeting with him tomorrow!

Post # 9
Member
5883 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’ve been there both when it hasn’t turned out well and when it has turned out well. Unfortunately, at this point, you just don’t know which way this will turn.

While Darling Husband and I were dating (about 4-5 months), he broke up with me. I was in love with him, but never said anything, but he knew. He didn’t feel that way about me and was afraid that by staying with me he would hurt me. So we broke up. But he wanted to be friends.

I was heartbroken and cried and cried, but agreed to being friends and still hanging out occasionally. I had read a book called “Getting to I Do” and she says that if a guy is going to come back, they will within 8 weeks. After that, they are just stringing you along.

So I decided that for 8 weeks I would be friends with him. Keep in contact enough so he didn’t forget about me, but not so much that I was a pseudo-girlfriend. So we would talk a few nights a week, but I always got off the phone after 15-20 mins. We would go out to dinner and even spend the night together, but he slept on the couch. There was no kissing or hand holding. And I always looked casual (jeans and t-shirts, but my shirts were slightly low cut, just enough to remind him how cute he thought I was.) But I went back to online dating and was chatting with different guys. I didn’t want to be pining away for him, I needed a distraction.

After  two weeks, he was calling every day and wanting to spend all weekend together (even though there was no fooling around). So I knew we were moving in a positive direction. But I wasn’t always there for him and he missed me.

So finally after a month, and the sexual tension was killing us, he realized he wanted to be with me. A year later we were engaged and we just had our 1st wedding anniversary.

So don’t lose hope yet.

However, some tips…

  • Don’t become the pseudo-girlfriend. No kissing or anything else.
  • Don’t hang out all the time—give him time to miss you.
  • Don’t talk about the relationship or what went wrong.
  • Take care of yourself—sleep and eat well. Go to a spa, hang out with friends. Or even join a dating site (OKCupid.com is a good one and free).
  • Give it 8 weeks, if nothing changes by then, you have to let it go and move on. And that may mean not being friends anymore if it’s too painful.

Good Luck!

Post # 11
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Hope everything get’s better hun! It’s hard to have a broken heart but I’m sure that everything will pan out! : )

Post # 15
Member
659 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry. I’ve been there, my boyfriend broke up with me in June after being together for 3.5 years. I agree with @KoiKove:‘s advice, I did a lot of the same things and it ended up being only a break for a couple of weeks. I hope everything works out for you.

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